AN: This story did not start out as a Naruto fic. After reading over it though I thought how perfect it would be if this was one, especially since I really enjoy dark Kyubi/Naruto fics. I guess this could also be me returning to my one shot roots lol.
Part 1
The dream that I had dreamt
Became... my reality.
And I don't seem to mind
The change that I have undergone
'In the beginning I closed my eyes. I wanted to be angry, I didn't want to see what was right in front of me. The way those eyes were. It made me sad.'
" What happened to you?"
The questions had found her heart in the middle of the night and she woke for the sake of seeing. They were not real, they were not there, they did not know. They could only take the same things he did. Her will, her peace. Why couldn't he at least give that to her now? She saw the possibilities in her minds eye and closed her mouth. The dry throat left wanting. It had been a month of doubts. They swirled around her mind and left hazy clouds within her vision.
The chair where he sat tipped and teetered with the restless movement of a child, absentmindedly almost. Too thoughtless to be anything but purpose.
"You sure you're fine?"
A weary question without meaning.
"Yes."
"Fine then."
So she rose to leave him. Stopping in the door way. The teetering had stopped and the silence began anew.
"Bye Sakura-chan."
The same voice, same inflections. It hurt to feel herself go cold and know the difference between. Mockery was woven into the affection.
Blue eyes watched her go, the end fast approaching. Happy that he could share it with her.
Part 2
Don't come close
Please back away
Don't you know
I can't can't confine
The... Lie
'Its my fault, but I don't care. Let it burn. Let it all rot. Nothing could hurt me the way that did. Why God, why did it have to be him?'
There was a mixture of the new and the familiar within him. His touch, his taste, his smell, all known and comforting. Ramen, leaves, perspiration. The way his eyes seemed to show a knowing of something she couldn't comprehend was the only hint that a change had occurred. Cruel. Wait, no. He could never be cruel.
His mouth had found the words easily enough. Comforting her when she struggled against his newness. Silencing her fears with reassurances. Sweetly beckoning her back to his bed, to love him again. It was another morning after another night that she had come when he called. Like a dog. The thought was uncomfortable to say the least. It made her shift restlessly and itch in her unease. At first the firm passes of his hand over her hair felt nice. It was as if he was admiring her, something he hadn't seemed to do since before his last encounter with the Kyubi. Then she had noticed that the loving strokes were only given after she had satisfied him. He was petting her. What did that mean? She had asked him once in the middle of the night, before the heat they created left their bodies.
"You're mine."
He was right. She was his. But which him did she belong to? The memories of what used to be were almost gone now. Replaced by what was now. What was happening now was too much for her to understand. It made her sick to think about. The pieces were in her mind but the puzzle didn't make sense. Suddenly her stomach gave a sluggish lurch and the bitter taste of bile rose in her throat. She fell to the floor a tangled naked heap of sheets and stumbled out of the room. In her frenzied state she did not see him quietly watching her from the end of the hall. She did not hear him as he followed her into the bathroom. She did not feel him until she kneeled in front of the porcelain bowl, a strange parody of a prayer, and began to vomit. With one hand he slowly began to stroke her head and with the other his fingers held the hair from her face.
"Good girl."
And it all became clear. Her fate, her future. None of it was her own anymore. He had slipped himself into her life in a way so cunning she could never have foreseen it. He had become the father of her child and she had become his pet. She didn't know the specifics, but there was one thing she was sure of. In eight months the world would change and she was partly to blame.
Part 3
Deep inside there lives a beast
I cant control
It whispers in my head
Release the monsters in me
'If I had the chance to save you. I would. But you've been gone so long I'm not sure I could let it go. Forgive me? Please? I should have stopped it.'
She sat beneath the tree. A lone dark oak that stood in her front yard. Her body, weak with dying, pressed against it in a languid fashion. This was her life now. Dying and wishing for death, but at the same time living and clinging to life. She was a medic nin. She knew it was not unusual to experience fatigue after child birth, but that was months ago and this was not fatigue. It was a cloud that had surrounded her and blurred any sense of reality.
A wind blew past her, sharp and cold, ruffling her pink hair the same as the tiny blades of grass. She shivered visibly and winced from the sensation. It was a shiver that stirred fear within her heart. It ran to her core and sent violent spikes of pain through her already tender skin. In her arms a baby was folded neatly in the warmth of a blue blanket and wore a matching cap on it's head. A contrast to her thin cotton t-shirt and flowing knee length skirt. The material pooled around her knees and stuck to her legs, damp with morning dew, but she sat there unaware of all except the cold and the pain. He had vanished, seemingly into thin air, just like all her pictures of him. Although vanished wasn't really the word for it. He wasn't there and there was no record that he ever had been. The Academy they had both attended had no record of him except a blurred (and scratched out?) picture in the yearbook. A stupid genin prank they told her. She had tried filing a missing nin report but Anbu said he wasn't in their data base. Kakashi,who had taught them both, feigned ignorance as well. Even Tsunade, who loved him like a grandson, when asked where he was, had no answer. Instead she grew silent. Her face dark with something unplaceable and her mouth closed into a tight thin line. She had told her not to speak of "It" anymore. She definitely meant "him" though, right? It was an eerie feeling to say the least. To be the only one who had any recollection of a man that was no where to be found. It was like she'd dreamt him up.
Stranger things were happening though. People were becoming ill lately. Deathly so. No one could explain how or why, but it seemed the virus was highly contagious and incurable. As she looked out over the once crowded street she could already see the virus taking affect. There were no people anywhere to be seen. The ones that had not contracted anything stayed huddled within their homes from fear of catching anything. It was as if over night everyone had gone to where ever he was and left her and her baby alone. She could not go with them. She wouldn't get the sickness. At least not the one that they were getting. Not her and not her baby. Her baby. She glanced down at the tiny being. Peace and destruction was in it's eyes. It never cried and barely ate anything at all. She wasn't even sure it slept at night. It seemed... Aware. Such an odd child and yet she loved it with all the strength she could muster. That was why she brought it outside on such cold mornings. It seemed to like to survey the area, as if it were observing the hopelessness of the world it was born into. Sometimes she could see him inside of the baby. The real him, not the being that wore his skin. Sometimes if she looked deeply enough into its eyes she could swear she saw him looking back. Or maybe it was a trick of the light. Maybe there had never been a real him and the being had always been there, waiting, pretending. It was hard to remember now. Another shiver racked her body and she closed her eyes against the pain. In her arms she could feel the baby moving, it's head turing to the left. She glanced down to see it staring with it's blue eyes towards something in the distance and she looked too. Even in the poor lighting of the grey sky she could see an inexplicable brilliance radiating from the figure ahead of her. As it drew nearer she noticed it's posture. Standing tall and proud. It seemed almost victorious. The figure drew nearer and nearer until it broke through the haze and she could see it clearly. Red eyes, sharp teeth. In her heart she felt a purpose fulfilled. It was done. It was him and with the last of her will she would fade into oblivion, never to witness proof of her weakness again. Her limp body still clutched the baby in her arms, but the infant seemed unphased by the corpse holding it. It looked expectantly up to the figure standing before it, waiting for it to give it a purpose the same way he had given it's mother one.
Deep inside there lives a beast
I cant control
It Whispers in my head
Release the monsters in me
Not my thoughts
Its inside
AN: Ok so kind of dark right? The words between the lines are from a poem I wrote. And the italic words are Sakura speaking.
