Title: The Itsy Bitsy Spider

Summary: The Avengers have started noticing Peter does not like it when anyone sings Itsy Bitsy Spider around him.

Beta'd by NieceoftheSerpent

…

It had taken all of the Avengers a while to get used to Peter. The kid was adorable, but mouthy as shit and he did have rather questionable taste in men. After six months though they all really enjoyed spending time with him and they were getting used to Deadpool.

Although a little of the mercenary went a long way. He was obviously head over heels for Spidey, and the feelings were mutual; they were disgustingly sweet together.

Peter was a genuinely sweet kid, that's why everyone sat up and noticed when he chucked a spatula at Clint's head one morning during breakfast. No one was more surprised than Clint who'd stared at the Spatula on the floor and the blushing and stuttering Peter who made a quick retreat out of the kitchen.

He glanced to the others but everyone looked just as confused as he did. Wade wasn't there so they couldn't pick his brain about the mysteries of Peter Parker like they usually did.

It was actually put out of everyone's minds… Until the next time it happened.

…

They were all hanging around and eating pizza at one of their many "bonding dinners," as Tony called them. Peter was sitting and looking a bit gloomy, everyone assumed it was because he was without his loud-mouthed shadow.

As Bruce moved into chat with Peter, Tony got a gleam in his eyes and remembering what happened last time began whistling the tune to Itsy Bitsy Spider.

Everyone blinked as, without even glancing up from his conversation with Bruce, Peter shot web at Tony's mouth. Tony stood there wide eyed and hands on his hips before flailing and going about the slow process of removing the sticky fibers.

"Ewwwwww!" He wailed dramatically when he was free and glared at Peter, "What was that for web-head?" He asked angrily, but anyone could see he was more concerned than angry.

"You don't need to know!" Peter exclaimed with a blush.

…

After that they all took turns singing it, even Bruce joined in and whistled it at one point. Each and every time something was chucked at their heads or they were webbed without comment.

And each and every time Peter's face would flush such a dark red that no one knew what to make of it anymore.

Bruce had suggested that Peter might be feeling a bit weird because he was the smallest of them all and likely would not be growing much more. Which ok, the others could see that because it is Itsy Bitsy Spider after all.

Tony thought it was all bullshit and really hoped Deadpool would come back so they could pick his brain. He wondered what could be so horrible or embarrassing about that song to make Peter react in such a way?

Hell, the kid had even chucked a shoe at the fucking Winter Soldier and webbed poor Bruce to the wall. No one could figure out why or what was going on.

…

That's why, a few weeks later, when Wade Wilson puttered around the communal kitchen and started humming the song, everyone froze. They waited with bated breath for Peter to do something anything, even just snog the mercenary so he shut up, but nothing happened.

They traded glances and looked at Peter who seemed very uncomfortable and twitched a bit.

"That's not fair!" Clint bellowed, "How come anytime we sing that song Peter tries to beat the shit out of us but you can do it?"

Wade turned and the shit eating grin on his face put everyone on edge. He sauntered over to Peter and threw his arm around the blushing and stammering smaller man.

"Well that's easy and I can answer it without any embarrassment. That's what I sing to my baby boy when I'm balls deep inside of him!" Wade seemed extremely happy at the fact and Peter nudged him hard in the ribs although the slight grin on his face said he wasn't upset.

The assembled Avengers looked a little weirded out and a few of them a bit green.

"Wait wait!" Tony held up a hand, "You sing Itsy Bitsy Spider while you fuck web-head? Why?"

Deadpool shrugged a shoulder, "He's my baby boy and I love him. Why wouldn't I sing to him?"

And really? Who could argue with that logic?