AN- This is the end, my only friend. And of course, like any good movie, the post movie humor.
Ending Scene
Snooks to DV as Luke is hanging over conveniently placed cliff –
My, haven't the past 20 years really flown, say, I haven't aged.
DV (breathes heavily) Luke, I am your father
Luke- NOOOOO!
Leia- Luke, I am your sister
LU- OOOOOOOOH!
Snooks- Luke, I am your grandfather!
LU- KLOOOOOOO!
Ghost of Padme- Luke, I am your mother
LU- BOOOOOH!
Balding middle-aged man- Luke, I am your uncle of second degree
LU- DOOOOH!
Chewier- Luke, I am your doppelganger
LU- FNOOOOH!
Yoda- Luke related to the sprouts in your back garden, I am.
LU- COOOOH!
Count- Luke, I am your father's former evil enchanter
LU- POOOOH!
R2D2- Luke, old bean,
(Bleeping)
Everyone- Awwww!
LU- You're my best friend, how sweet, I mean-
WOOOOOOOH!
Random Stranger- Luke, I'm in no way related to you, I just felt a little lonely.
LU- TOOOOH!
(Awkward silence)
DV- Soooo, quite the family reunion, eh? Son, why don't we settle our differences and become neutral
LU- Okay, daddykins (reaches hand out so he's vulnerable)
(Chewie bites Yoda's head off mistaking him for a Snickers bar)
(His headless corpse rolls off cliff, taking Luke with him)
DV (shrugs) –Oh well, at least we've still got Leia
(Leia jumps off cliff screaming)- YODA, my darling, we shall be reunited at the banks of the Styx!
C3PO- Not any more (smiles suggestively)
(DV bangs the plastic-encrusted part believed to be his head on railing)
Credits
(Elevator Music)
Scene#
MPS and CC are sitting in cafe wearing Hawaiian shirts. Waiter with tiny mustache and a rather overgrown nose comes up to them.
W (to MPS)- what would it be for you, Sir?
MPS- A triple whammy pinapple and ham sherbert please.
W- A very good choice indeed, and for your great-grandfather?
CC- Excuse me?
W- I am sorry if I have offended you sir, you see I lost my eyesight in a tragic accident involving Pot Noodle Soup and now rely on my acute sense of smell to indentify people. And you happen to smell like old people. Or a hippy cross-country club's locker rooms.
CC (seething)- twftzmcrrtch
W- Although it is not always accurate, for example your great-grandson here smells of carrots and dip.
(Thunderbolt magically appears in CC's hand. He aims carefully, muttering to himself, and reduces the waiter to a pile of ash.