Hello all! :D I know it's been a while, and I have a million stories I should be working on (as usual), but I haven't had access to an actual computer in... er... half a year? Something like that. I attempted to publish this sometime in December on my phone but fanfiction wasn't accepting that. _

A few notes about this story before you read - and don't skip down or else you might be a bit confused in later chapters.

1. This story is in first person... present tense. First, I had it in past-tense but then decided it would be better in present and edited it as well as I could. If you see some mistakes that make it seem a little confusing, I apologize and I'll do my best to fix it.

2. Some of the characters might seem a little OOC. Especially Beyond. For those who love Beyond, I'm sorry I didn't make him like he's portrayed in other stories, but I felt like that would ruin the plot a little, with all that happens to L, who I made his twin. We all know he'd go on a killing spree and I couldn't have that. This time.

3. In some chapters (not all, because I'm trying to avoid this from happening TOO often) there will be changes of POV. From L's to Beyond's, or from L's to Raito's. I wrote a teeny bit in Beyond's POV in the next chapter to try and show a little of their twin bond, and that probably won't happen again. To show that the POV is changing, you'll see this - - - -

4. This isn't really too important, but there are two OCs so far. I was going to make one Kami, but it didn't really seem to fit since his obsession wouldn't be Raito.

And lastly, this first chapter is super smutty. It pretty much starts with and revolves around smut. This might be the only chapter that this happens, though, and moments of OOC (L). Don't like it, don't read it, and those of you who do stay to read and you have something to say, constructive criticism only, please~ 3

He Loves Me (Not)

I know what I do every day isn't moral, and some would argue that it's just sinful. But I love it. It's the skin on skin contact, knowing someone's deepest desires without even speaking to them, and the outright pleasure that melts away any thoughts of worry or fear. It's my outlet, and I wouldn't do this any other way, even if I could.

He has me on my back in the closet of his father's office, trying to keep me quiet while a meeting continues in the other room. A year ago, I never would have agreed to this, but now... now, it's the possibility of getting caught that turns me on even more.

I moan softly, covering my mouth with one hand, the other on Raito's shoulder as his hips snap against mine uncontrollably. I would say I love this man above me, but we get on each other's nerves too much for anything such as "love" to occur between us. I hate the way his silky auburn hair settles just right, even now as we're shamelessly fucking only three meters from where his father is sitting on the other side of the door. I hate how his brown eyes narrow when he knows I'm lying, or when he's trying to see through me. I also hate how damned perfect his body is, toned with muscle and covered in tan skin that looks so tantalizing.

But I love how he growls when I pull on those perfect locks, and I love how his eyes glaze over when I'm pleasuring him, because I know I'm the only one that can force him to completion with the flick of my tongue... And I love how his body shudders over me, even though he wants to seem so dominating and controlling as he takes me.

But I know he loves nothing about me. I feel as if I have no muscle mass in my body at all, and my hair is always a dull black and messy, sticking in any and every direction it wants to. I'm pale, nearly albino compared to him. Whatever sex appeal I have must all be in my ass because there is nothing beautiful about me in the least, not even the deep black eyes that turn a steely grey when the sun hits them just right.

There is nothing to love about me.

I whimper and tilt my head back, feeling the urge to come becoming almost overwhelming, but the ring around my arousal was making that impossible. I clenched around him, removing my hand from my mouth. "Haah... h-hey... let me go," I demanded, looking down at the cock ring. "I have to come. It hurts."

Raito smirked down at me, rolling his hips to touch my spot right on. I had to bite my lip to keep from crying out. "Not done with you yet... We haven't even done my favorite position."

I gave him an annoyed look through the pleasured one. "Won't last... that long," I gasped, clinging to his shoulders as he thrusts faster. My eyes rolled back, and my toes curl. "Oh, God... I can't - Oh, my G-!"

He kissed me hard to silence me, giving me some relief by removing the ring. He came after me, slamming hard against my prostate as he rode out his third orgasm. I saw white, relaxing completely under him for a moment, my mind going blank. When I opened my eyes again, he was standing up, looking down at me expectantly. I sighed, standing up tiredly and turned my back to him, leaning my hands against the wall, my ass sticking out slightly. I wiggled my hips and he grabbed them, teasing my entrance with his length. "Try to stay standing this time... It's not the same when you're collapsing on me every time," he said, and I could hear the smugness in his tone.

"Shut up," I growl, and he began to take me, rocking into me evenly at first. I move with him, my brain turning into a puddle again, barely hearing the creaking of the chairs outside, signaling that the meeting was over. "Nnn... hurry up," I groaned quietly, already feeling my knees trying to buckle.

He grunted, grabbing my wrists and pulling them back towards him, holding me up against my will. "Fine..." He whispered, picking up the pace again.

I feel like I'm going to scream, and when I hear the door close as the older men stepped out of the room, my stubbornness broke down. "Yes! Raito! Raito... Aah! So... good... More!"

I hear him inhale sharply, and he shoved me against the wall. "Well, when you put it like that..." He purred, giving me what I wanted, not holding back anymore.

I babble praise to him, glad I don't have to hold back either, feeling it building up so quickly in my abdomen. I cry out his name when I come, but he kept moving until he found completion for the fourth time. I sag against him, shaking from the aftermath and close my eyes.

Sometimes he stays for a moment to recuperate, and now I felt his heartbeat on my back. It's as rapid as mine, and I'm happy to know I tired him out just as much. He pulls back and cleans himself off before putting his stuffy suit back on. "Clean all of this up," was all he said to me before stepping out of the closet.

I scoffed, getting dressed slowly, wincing when I bend down to pick something up. I wipe the walls and the floor down, putting the brooms and mops up right, before quickly exiting myself, and got back to working at my desk, which was located directly outside of the boss's office.