Alright. Here we go.
Hey there! My name is Benji. And I'm recording the extremely stupid events that happened to me recently. I'm not going to beat around the bush here:
I was turned into a Pokémon.
Yes, it was unexpected. Yes, it was cool. No, I didn't get to choose. But at least I got Mudkip, which is pretty cool. I liek Mudkips.
How about a beginning, hmm?
So I was a super cliché person. 9th grader, basically nobody, about 3 real friends. This feels like a bad joke already. But that was about to change. (Which is another massive cliché.)
I woke up on a Wednesday morning. It was sunny out. The middle of July. And I was all psyched to do absolutely nothing. Nobody else was home; my mom goes to work in the mornings and my dad plays tennis. So I was alone. I went downstairs and had myself a bowl of cereal. Then I grabbed my 3DS and went over to my good buddy Alex's house.
Alex is this shortish guy with black hair and a good sense of humor. You know, basic best friend stuff. For reference, I am tall, with blond hair, and an ever better sense of humor, coupled with a sarcastic attitude and a voracious appetite. Basic anime protagonist stuff.
We'd been having this big tournament between ourselves in our latest games of Pokémon. Generation 7. He told me he found this weird hack device at a local yard sale, and we wanted to check it out. I walked up to his door and rang the doorbell.
"Who is it?" I hear him say.
"Room service," I yell back. "I brought that loser sandwich you ordered."
"Sweet," he calls. "It'll go perfectly with the idiot salad I made you."
I walk in and we fist bump. "What's up?" I ask him.
"Nothin' much." He says. "Ready to try that hacking thingamajig?"
"You know it!"
We walk into his living room. The device is set up on his table. It's a weird-looking thing. Like a tall, thin computer with a really small screen and some cables attached. His 3DS is already plugged in.
"I don't know what it does," he explains, "But I did recognize a feedback preventer on it, so our games won't be damaged."
"Cool," I say. "Let's do this." And I plug mine in, too.
He turns it on and a computerized voice says, "Hello and welcome to GameSim 3674! What game will you be playing today?"
Alex looks at me before clearing his throat and saying, "Uh… Pokémon Sun."
"Wonderful!" the GameSim beeps. "I'm only programmed to give you starters. Okay? Great! Then let's go! Please press the A button on your device."
I press the A button.
And everything goes black.
(Dun dun dunnnn.)
I wake up lying down in the middle of… um… where am I? It seems to be a field. I sit up and look around, trying to figure out my surroundings. Then I notice Alex sitting nearby, also looking confused.
"Did you know it would teleport us?" I ask him.
"No. If I did, I would've told you. But where exactly-"
"HELLO!" says a familiar electronic voice.
Oh, good the GameSim is back. I've got a couple questions. "HEY!" I yell at it (I think, because it's not there; just a voice.) "WHERE THE HELL-"
"Temper, temper!" it says. "I've just made your game a little more… interesting."
"Interesting." Alex says flatly. "That's a mild way of putting it."
"Don't fret! I'm not done!" it beeps cheerfully. "There's one more thing I want to do. Tell me, Benji-" How does it know my name? I still haven't figure that out. "Which generation is your favorite?"
"Um… is this really important?" I ask.
"YES! Now answer the question!"
"Uh… gen 3."
"Wonderful! And you, Alex?"
Alex looks at me questioningly. Just answer the stupid robot, I mouth at him.
"Alright, mine is gen 4." he tells it.
"Very nice! Now we're ready to go! I'll see you at the end!"
"The end of what? What's happening? WHERE ARE WE?" But it was too late. A bright white flash appears from nowhere, and suddenly I'm getting shorter… it's hard to stand on my legs… my tailbone is extending… my cheeks are hardening… and it's over. I slump over on the grass and try not to pass out.
It doesn't work. The last thing I see before I take a quick trip to Z-ville is a… tortoise? That is also unconscious?
That's pretty weird.