Harry Potter and the Truth
'I DON'T CARE!' Harry yelled at Dumbeldore. 'I'VE HAD ENOUGH, IVE SEEN ENOUGH, I WANT OUT, I WANT IT TO END, AND I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!'
'You do care.' Dumbeldore said as calm as ever. He had not even flinched as Harry began tirade.
'NO I DON'T!' Harry yelled. 'I've seen and been through more than any person my age should have to go through! It's your fault, most of it at least!'
Dumbeldore looked perplexed at this statement but still held his gaze at Harry. Speaking calmly he said, 'How is it my fault, Harry.'
'You put me there. You said it was the safest place on earth for me. Well guess what you were WRONG! The great Albus Dumbeldore WAS WRONG!' Harry yelled in a cold, venomous voice.
Dumbeldore looked into Harry's eyes and saw pain. He immediately began to wonder what had happened at Number 4 Privet Drive after he had placed him on their doorstep. He had planned on Harry growing up cared for and loved, obviously he was wrong.
'Harry what happened at your aunt and uncles house.' Dumbeldore asked dread filled every part of his body. Even though he wanted to find out he really didn't want to know the answer.
'If you checked up on me better you would know. But since you really want to know, I'll tell you. I'll tell you of all the times I was starved and how I slept and was locked in a cupboard underneath the stairs. Or how 'bout I tell you of all the times I was beaten and abused by my uncle for the most trivial things. I swear, you would have thought I committed murder for the way I was beat, but all I did was burn the toast. He would come home everyday looking for his punching bag or in other words me.' Harry said this with all the coldness he could get. He looked at his headmaster's face. Shock etched across every wrinkle.
'You honestly thought they would love me or even tolerate me.' Harry said incredibly. 'They hate magic; they had it instilled into my mind that I was nothing more than a freak! But you know what? The abuse, it wasn't the worst part. I mean, I learned to live with it. Haven't you ever wondered why I don't scream when I'm under the Cruciatus Curse? It's because I've been taught that if I make a sound during a beating, I get it a hundred times worse.' The headmaster's face turned to curiosity. He wondered what could be worse than getting abused and having to learn that if you make a sound it gets worse.
'The worse part…was the rape. My uncle would rape two or three times a week." Harry said looking at the ground, tears threatening to fall from his lifeless, dull eyes. He looked back at his headmaster. Shock, disgust and regret were coming off him strongly.
'How long? How long has this been happening.' Dumbeldore asked, the usual twinkle in his eye was gone.
'The abuse. Ever since you left me on their doorstep. My uncle never thought twice about knocking some sense into me. He lived for it. The rape started after first year. I was eleven years old, turning twelve the next day. I believe my uncle said it was an early birthday present. I still remember that day. I felt so, so dirty afterwards. I wanted to take a shower to get it off me, but I knew I couldn't. It was three o'clock in the morning. My aunt would beat me before I had a chance to explain. I was pretty happy Ron and his brothers got me the next day.' As Harry said this he let the tears he was trying so hard to keep back fall. Dumbeldore saw this and instantly his heart broke. He had no idea this was going on at his relative's house. He was boiling with anger, but he knew it was probably best not to show his emotions. Harry would probably get scared.
'You know, the worst day of my life was about two weeks into the break last year. My uncle, he came home angrier than ever. I had never seen him so angry. He starts yelling at my saying it was my fault that he got demoted. He beat me until I could barely move. I laid there helpless. He dragged me to my room and left me there for a while before he came back. This time, with a bat and rope. He beat with the bat for what must have felt like hours. He picked me up and tied my arms and legs to the bed. He raped me after he was done. He once said to me when I was twelve he liked when I was defenseless and for me to be defenseless, I needed the shit beat out of me.' Harry said this tears coming sown faster than ever as he remembered that day he thought he was going to die. He had thoughts about trying to take his life after that day. He couldn't go through with them though. Why didn't Dumbeldore check up on him? It was his entire fault. 'Your entire fault' he whispered.
Dumbeldore heard the last bit Harry said. 'Harry what do you want from me? I'm sorry.'
'What do I want? What I want is something that not even Merlin could give me. I want 15 years of my life back. I want 15 years of not being abused. I want 15 years of not wondering if I would be raped that day.' Harry said finally looking up at his headmaster. Dumbeldore could see the pain in his eyes. The tears alone would break your heart but with one look his eyes he could almost feel a piece of himself dying.
'Harry I don't know what to say.' Dumbeldore said solemnly.
'Save it. I don't want to hear it.' Harry said. He turned around and walked put the door. Slamming it behind him.
Dumbeldore still sat at his desk, going over the conversation he had with his most favourite student. He couldn't believe the Dursley's would do that to what had been an amazingly happy child. It now made sense how Harry had gone from a happy baby to a sad and lonely teenager. Dumbeldore contemplated this for a while. Every time he thought about the stories Harry had told him he shivered with disgust. Not only was it rape but it was incest. And Harry had never said a word. It was probably another thing his uncle taught him. Never say a word or get beat.
'How could I have kept him there. Even after all the signs I forced him there' Dumbeldore thought. Tears were forming in his eyes that he tried to hold back.
'It is all my fault' and the tears came streaming down.