Authors Note: I got really bored and decided to just write whatever pops into my head. I mostly wanted to make myself laugh and the Abbot and Castello "who's on first?" sketch was always one of my favorites. But let me know if it made any of you laugh.
Author's second note 2018: This is a very old fic that still makes me laugh to this day. I decided to edit it a little but it is still the same thing. Please keep in mind that at the time I wrote this back in 2010, it was based on the old series, not the reboot.
Title: Messing with Jojo
Professor Utonium walks down the street from the grocery store and passes by Mojo Jojo's evil lair smiling, whistling and minding his own business "gosh I hope nothing evil and malicious happens to me while I am walking here". He keeps on walking until he hits around the corner of a nearby building. Suddenly Mojo Jojo runs up behind him out of nowhere and throws a burlap sack over the professor's head causing him to yelp momentarily before he was carried away.
Within a few minutes he had Professor Utonium in a cell with laser beams for bars. Mojo Jojo stands there laughing maniacally on the other side of the cell "Muwahahahahah behold my greatest diabolical plan ever. Now Professor Utonium with you in my clutches, I will have full control of the Power Puff girls, they will do my bidding and assist me in RULING TOWNSVILLE MUWAHAHAHAHHA".
"But, this can't be your greatest diabolical plan ever," Professor Utonium said in a calm manner "you've done this before; actually I think this is the 4th maybe 5th time you've done this if I am correct".
"SHUT UP" Mojo Jojo shouts at him "this is my greatest diabolical plan EVER MUWAHAHAHAHA".
While he cackles, Utonium rolls his eyes, then grins a little at Mojo "well now that I am captured I guess you will never get that really important thing I sent you".
Mojo stops cackling and looks at him "what thing?"
Utonium looks away from him for a moment as if he was just casually standing there waiting for his bus "oh, just that all-important thing that I send to every scientific mind on the planet".
Mojo yells at him "you will reveal to me what this thing is".
"But I already have," Utonium says.
"What? You have not told me" Mojo gets agitated "you have not told me anything yet, you have yet to tell me the thing you have mentioned previously before, just a few minutes ago you told me nothing about the thing you may or may not have hinted on previously. TELL ME WHAT YOU HAVE SENT ME".
Utonium tries to keep himself from chuckling and continues "the important thing that I send every scientific mind on the planet".
What?" Mojo Jojo shout "what did you send me?"
"That thing," Utonium says
"What thing?" Mojo asks
"The important thing that I send every scientific mind on the planet," Utonium says.
Mojo growls "EXACTLY, I am a scientific mind, so I should have gotten what was sent to me, therefore I would have had it already in my hands, for I have a scientific mind, and a scientific mind is the only one to receive what you have sent. So I must know what did you send me, so that I know what to look out for if this thing was ever to be in my possession, which it should be because of my scientific mind. Now, WHAT DID YOU SEND ME?"
"That thing," Utonium says
"What thing?" Mojo asks
"The important thing that I send every scientific mind on the planet" Utonium says
Mojo Jojo stares at him for a while and then pinches the bridge of his nose "you are seriously fucking with me, aren't you?"
"Oh no of course not," Utonium says "I sent it to you, really I did. oh dear, I must have given it to who".
"I don't know, who?" Mojo replies
"Of course you know who," Utonium says "you've met him already".
"Who?" Mojo asks
"Exactly," Utonium says
Mojo: "what?"
Utonium: no he delivered my mail last week
Mojo: who?
Utonium: no he gave you that thing I sent you
Mojo: what thing?
Utonium: the important thing I send every scientific mind on the planet.
Mojo growls again "who did you give that thing to send to me?
Utonium smiles "exactly".
Mojo shouts "EXACTLY WHAT?"
No" Utonium frowns "what delivered my mail last week?"
Mojo: I don't know what delivered your mail, it must have been some guy"
Untonium: some guy does deliveries for cities Ville
Mojo: who?
Utonium: who delivered that thing I sent you
Mojo: I don't know who? That's what I am asking you.
Utonium: you're asking me? Why? Didn't he deliver that thing to you?
Mojo's blood began to boil "who delivered what to me?
Utonium: oh now you're just being silly. They don't even know each other.
Mojo: what?
Utonium: what about what?
Mojo get angrier: just tell me who THE HELL DELIVERED THAT THING YOU SENT ME
Utonium: I already did?
Mojo: YOU DID NOT; YOU DIDN'T EVEN TELL ME WHAT THE THING YOU SENT ME. WAS
Utonium looks at him confused and blinks "but you're the bad guy, why would I even bother to send you anything, banana breath".
Mojo Jojo flips out and jumps all over the place like a crazy monkey finally losing his temper with all the Professors foolishness.
Just then the PowerPuff girls burst through the ceiling "NOT SO FAST MOJO JOJO" They say collectively, but then they noticed that Mojo was going nuts and floated there wondering what was going on.
Mojo Jojo angrily yells at the professor "YOU FOOL, I have had enough of your foolishness, you will fool me no more with your nonsense. We just spent 30 fucking minutes talking about this thing you have sent me, only to find out you haven't sent me anything at all, for I MOJO JOJO have not received anything from you, nothing has been given to me from you, I have nothing in my possession with your name on it. Therefore nothing was sent and you have been BULLSHITTING ME FOR THE PAST HALF AN HOUR, i.e. telling me you sent something when you haven't, therefore you are FULL OF BULLSHIT, bullshit is what you have spouted from your mouth with your words, bullshit which you have told me countless times sending me in circles just so I can end up in the same fucking spot I was in the beginning. I grow tired of your bullshit, which has me angered at this point in time. If you utter one more piece of BULLSHIT TO ME, I WILL FUCK YOU UP". Mojo Jojo pants getting tired from his rant, but then he stops sensing he is being watched and looks above him to see three very shocked little girls.
Blossom recovers from her shock and glares at Mojo "oh now you're really going to get it potty mouth". And with that, they charge after Mojo Jojo.
Mojo Jojo puts his hands up in a flimsy attempt to defend himself "oh FUCK IT". He puts his arms down and takes his punishment.
Professor Utonium smiles as his precious little girls beat the living shit out of Mojo Jojo. The girls then zap the button next to the cell and the laser bars disappear setting him free. They then pick up the professor and fly away with him, he laughs as they carry him home "man I love messing with Jojo".