A person's whole life can sometimes seem meaningless, looking back. You wonder why you exist, you know that you have your friends, your family, your own future, and in my case, your pack. But looking back, I couldn't imagine a life without her. Your whole self becomes meaningless, all of the other aspects slip into the background, almost invisible, as she becomes your meaning, your life, your everything.
Myself and the pack were running, just after a group-patrol around the area. Sam had said that Emily's two nieces were visiting them for a week while their single mother had to work. Sam said that they had been visiting every now and again since the older one was a few years old, but it was becoming more common now that Jenna had two kids. I couldn't imagine- I felt bad for the woman. Two kids, no dad to help out, but Emily always was more than willing to take care of them. She loved children- caring for them, playing and laughing with them. She always said that she couldn't want to be a mom. The two kids being there with Emily from the Makah reservation meant that Sam wanted more protection. Even with him being there, he had to be one-hundred percent sure that Emily was safe. Oh, imprinting. Of course, once Em found out that we were working extra, she was quick to offer us lunch- a mistake, I have to say. The four of us- Jacob, Seth, myself and Embry pretty much ate the poor woman out of house and home- but she always offered, and seemed more than glad to do so. The woman had a talent for cooking, what can I say?
The four of us were halfway to the house, and Seth and myself were negotiating a race. I was only a year older, but that also meant that I was much faster. Seth didn't give up though, he was far from a quitter.
I could so take you, the medium-brown wolf managed to sneer.
You mean work up an appetite trying to keep up? I retorted.
Don't bother- the kids can't see you guys like that. You want to scare two little girls by running at them, as nine-foot tall wolves? Be my guest. The bitterness in Jake's voice was almost tangible. He was so.. not himself with that Bella girl being so off. Plus, the one Cullen- the little one with short hair who Jake had called 'the fairy' had apparently seen signs of something terrible in the future. Sam told us not to be too worried just yet, but to stay vigilant.
Of course though, the fact that he had a crush on Bella, or, hell, maybe even loved her really tore him up sometimes. Sometimes, I missed trying to go after girls at school, but the pack had so much more to offer- and I loved it, every aspect of it. We were at the edge of the woods, preparing to walk separate ways to phase back as something hit my nose. I skidded to a stop, almost tripping over myself in the process. The voices of the guys laughing through the mental link faded into the background, like white noise. The sound of a normal, human heart pumping overrode any other sounds. I couldn't will my legs to move, but I had to force through it. As a little giggle, one that had to be from a small child, echoed in my ears, it jump-started my muscles and nerves. They asked me what was up, asking if I had seen a ghost, etc, but I simply shook my head.
Ignore it, my own voice echoed in my head, not under my control. Phase back- you don't want to scare her. Go to her.
The cooing of a toddler echoed through the woods, not loudly, but almost as if my senses had unintentionally honed in on her. After I had dressed myself- an old, ratty T-shirt and our usual long, cutoff shorts, I began walking, ahead of the others. I head them calling to be, but I didn't. As I emerged from the tree-line, I saw Emily, sitting next to Sam on their porch steps, talking intently with him. My eyes didn't care for that- but for one of the two small children, the younger one. I could hear the guys farther behind me, had they stopped? Doesn't matter. Sam greeted me, and Em mentioned something about something she had made- didn't matter. Protect her. See her.
I obeyed the thoughts in my mind. I could see Sam- confused, becoming more.. bewildered? with every second. I was feet from the small toddler. The other one was a little older. Maybe by four years? I didn't see her, not really. I could almost feel myself becoming lighter- as if a weight was lifted from my shoulders, chest, arms, legs, everything. As if everything was being released from me- my name, my importance as a pack member, my mother, Joy, and grandfather/stand-in-father Old Quil, my pack-brothers, my life.. everything. As if tiny, clear threads of fishing-line, barely visible, now that I could clearly see how insignificant all of the ties were, snipped, tore, fell apart, gone.
A little head, adorned with thick, dark brown waves of hair that curled at the ends that reached the middle of her back, turned my direction. Tan, russet skin, fragile and innocent, shone in the clouded sunlight. Light-brown eyes, that had to classify as hazel met mine, and a smile broke onto the tiny, perfect fact. Her eyes squinted with the smile, and she dropped the doll she was holding, reaching her arms to me.
"'Ay!" The little toddler waved one dimpled hand, a 'hi' of sorts. I almost knelt down to pick the angel up, but I was knocked backwards. My first instinct was the fact that I was attacked, my eyes still clouded, aside from the one thing in front of me- which was now gone, in Emily's arms as she ran her inside, along with the other child. My eyes turned back to Sam, the alpha of the pack, whose voice woke me from my daze. I finally felt the fact that hands were holding my shoulders in a death grip, shaking me. He was shaking as well.
"What the hell Quil?" Sam glared into my eyes, demanding an explanation. He shoved himself off of me, phasing instantly. The upper lip of the giant, deep black-colored wolf was curled over its teeth, snarling. I phased, submissively. Instantly, his voice was in my head, full alpha-command in every syllable. It was all jumbled into one big, deafening question.
What was that? She is a child! Are you sick in the head, Ateara? A child! His voice boomed, I only slightly lowered my head. Did he think..
No, I stammered, repeating the word multiple times. It's not-! Not like that! Sam eyed me curiously, eyes still full of rage. I showed him what I meant through the link.
How perfect she was, how fragile, how easily hurt. There wasn't any slight inkling of a single fraction of a romantic feeling towards her. I wanted to protect her and make her smile, laugh, help her, guide her in any way, be whatever she needed. I didn't just want to, I felt the force of a million gods making me need to.
I saw Sam visibly calm down, sighing.
Shit, Quil. He rarely swore, oddly enough. This only happens in the legends, only once, maybe twice? I'll explain to Emily, come on in, brother.
We both nodded to each other, and I made my way into the woods, the closest patch to the house- I couldn't be too far away from her. I could hear her, mumbling jumbled words about being back outside, but still calmly playing with some toy with her sister. I walked back over to their porch, Sam going inside first to explain to Emily exactly what was going on. I didn't focus on their words, only Claire's. Her sister was trying to teach her how to play with some kind of dolls and make them talk, and she still didn't get how to, and she took very little interest in it. She said the same word every few minutes, 'outside.' She was quiet for a few moments, then footsteps came close to the door, and there she was. In Emily's arms with Sam right next to her. Emily seemed wary, but not angry or afraid. She toddler was still as perfect as she was prior, and reached her arms out to me, making grabby fists.
"Quil," Em's voice just barely grabbed my attention, but I met her gaze. I was immediately drawn back to the toddler in her arms.
I wanted to hold her, there was a pull to be close to her, to protect her, keep her safe, be her friend. My mind suddenly wanted to get to know the toddler- what games did she like? What was her favorite color? Favorite animal? Fa-
"Quil," she repeated for the second time, her voice soft. I looked up at her again, trying to keep my focus. "This is Claire Young." The angel had a name. Claire. Claire. The name seemed to fit her perfectly. Emily spoke then to Claire, a soft coo in her voice.
"Claire, this is Quil." The little girl immediately smiled, and I felt my heart swell with happiness.
"K-wiw!" The little voice bellowed, she seemed like she was trying very hard to pronounce my name. I agreed, it was a bit of a pain to pronounce for a younger kid. Emily then handed her into my arms.
I had never held a child, or a baby before. Claire was in-between those two, but she seemed to fit perfectly the way I held her.
In that moment, everything made sense. I was made to protect her, to keep her safe. She was something that was special to the universe- something so key that I was sure that it would shatter were she to be harmed.