Tricks Of The Heart.
Lily Evans
Alice Gordon
Marlene McKinnon
Dorcas Meadowes
Emmeline Vance
Frank Longbottom
James Potter
Sirius Black
Remus Lupin
Peter Pettigrew
Chapter 1.
Stripping Adventures
I thoughtfully sipped my butterbeer as The Leaky Cauldron's barman, Tom walked around the pub attending to its other customers. It was a Friday evening and it seemed every youngster in the wizarding world out of Hogwarts desired some alcohol. I had just come back from the most boring event ever. Not that I would ever say that out loud.
My boyfriend of four months, Alexander Huddleborn who is currently working at Department of Mysteries in the Ministry of Magic, had decided to throw a dinner in my name to celebrate mine and my friends' promotion at work. To be honest with myself, I knew it wasn't really a promotion since an Auror trainee couldn't really get promoted but I had passed through to the final course in training: Battle.
Which really, was the one I had been waiting for over a year. But the Auror program had been a bit slow as of late, with the rise of Voldemort, they had too many people training and the Minister decided to divide all of us into five different classes of 30 when we had first started there. Some bailed, some didn't go through and I knew that the initial number of 150 had dropped to 57 Aurors in the last course.
To say the dinner was a disaster was the biggest understatement of the century. I had insisted Alex included her best friends, Emmeline Vance, Dorcas Meadowes and Marlene McKinnon but the rest of the guests were Alex's work crazy work friends who were a complete bore, with their tedious theories of how this happened and how that happened and how the Minister wasn't the right one to be in charge during a war of this immensity.
Dorcas, being who she was, dozed off on her soup 20 minutes into the dinner and had to be awoken with a kick in the shin. Marlene had flirted with the restaurant's cutest waiter all night and Emmeline kept playing with the end of her plait. I would be mad at them for not interacting if I myself hadn't found the whole event quite boring and tiring.
After about two hours of fancy food, annoying small talk and more kicks to Dorcas' shin, Alex finally closed up the event by paying for the bill and seeing his friends off. Before leaving he pressed his lips to mine in a quick kiss and shot my friends a glare that didn't go unnoticed by me. As soon as he was out of earshot, Dorcas mumbled something to do with dragons and foul gits before leaving to finish some paperwork at the Ministry. Marlene had gone back to the house us four share to get some sleep and Emmeline went with her after promising me to meet me at The Leaky Cauldron when she had gotten something from our home.
I Apparated to the pub and at first, struck up a conversation with Tom before he had to attend to the overflowing customers. So I demanded butterbeer after butterbeer and was now on my fifth. Emmeline sent an owl saying her mother had asked her to do something so she wouldn't be able to meet after all.
I just shrugged it off and drank more butterbeer, constantly thinking if continuing to date Alex was the best option I had, if Voldemort was planning any upcoming attacks –I was sure he was- and if that light blue dress I had tucked away in my closet at home made my butt look big.
It took me about three minutes to notice someone sitting beside me at the bar. I turned her head to meet a pair of grey eyes and a wave of shiny black hair rested on a head. I felt like he was familiar but couldn't place a name on the face. The man just smirked at me.
"Who are you?" I asked. I knew what was coming. Whenever my voice got hoarse like it just did, it meant I was starting to get drunk.
His smirk just widened even more. "You don't remember me" He stated. "Sirius Black. Gee, Evans, are you that drunk?"
"Oh, Black.." I mumbled. "From Hogwarts. You're a Marauder"
"Why, yes I am" He exclaimed, pride dripping off his voice. "And you're drunk"
"Just starting to, really. I just had a suckish night"
"Wanna talk about it?"
"I've never talked to you about anything"
"You can start to now"
"It's silly, really"
"It's not silly if it's bothering you"
"Sirius Black, with a heart?" I asked, feinting shock.
"Oh, big whoop, Black has emotions!" Sirius threw his hands up in the air. "Come on Evans, I can help"
"My boyfriend's a snooty brat" I blurted out before I had any idea of what I was saying.
"You have a boyfriend?" Sirius asked, taken aback. "Geez, who would have known?"
"Why do you sound so surprised?"
"Because back at school, it always seemed like you had a stick up your arse"
"Not helping, you git"
"Sorry" Sirius said. "Continue"
"That's pretty much it. He's always absorbed in his work and he treats my friends badly and never takes me out anymore, it seems like he doesn't want to make an effort"
"So the stick came down from your arse and went up his?" Sirius asked, shrugging.
I laughed before I could catch myself. "What are you doing here, Black?"
"I was supposed to meet with Prongs but the prat's probably still at the Ministry. He wants to get in Moody's good graces"
"Prongs?" I asked. That name rang a bell too.
"James Potter." Sirius informed. "You remember him, I bet"
"How could I forget?" I drawled, my mind suddenly flowing with memories of said guy running a hand through his unruly hair, adjusting his glasses before getting on his broom at Quidditch matches. "He was pratically trying to snog me all the time"
"Ah, Lily Evans. The first girl who stole James Potter's heart"
I snorted. "Yeah right. Look, it was nice seeing you again and all, but I think my friends will come looking for me soon, my last drunk escapade didn't turn out so well"
Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Really, why?"
"Let's just say, you should never buy three bottles of Firewhiskey and rent a Muggle vehicle. You just end up with one shoe, a chicken missing a leg and a massive hangover" I said, slamming a Galleon on the counter. That was a good night.
"Hardcore!" Sirius exclaimed. "Do remind me to meet up with you again so we can get properly drunk. I'll bring Remus and James along, they're fun drunks"
"Remus Lupin, drinking?" I snorted again. "I can't see it"
"I couldn't see you drinking either but alas, here you are" Sirius grinned at her. "Never underestimate a Marauder, sweetheart"
"It was weird seeing you again" I told him. "It felt actually nice"
"Till we meet again, Lily Evans" Sirius bowed.
Laughing, I slung her purse over her shoulder. "Bye Sirius" I said, before Disapparating to my house.
XoX
I felt a strong light on my body. Whoever drew the curtains back was going to die. I was sure it was Marlene, it seems like something she would do. Sure enough, I opened my eyes to see my friend's blonde long wet hair whipping around. "Ugh Marlene, you bitch."
"You're calling me a bitch but really, your hangover's a bitch and you know it" Marlene passed a hand through her hair, taking my covers off the bed. "Get up"
"What time is it?" I asked, putting a hand up to shield the sun.
"Noon" Marlene answered. "I let you sleep enough, now get up and take some Pepperup potion"
"Today is Saturday.. I don't have anything to do today" I groaned, getting up from my bed, despite my better judgment.
"We have Alice's hen party later tonight" Marlene pushed me to the kitchen where Dorcas was at the table, reading the Prophet and Emmeline was at the stove, cooking something the Muggle way.
"Morning, ray of sunshine" Dorcas squealed, grinning at me. I groaned again, pressing down on my temple.
"Shove it, Dorcas" I muttered as I sat down at the table next to the brunette.
"Fancy some eggs, Lil?" Emmeline offered, turning off the stove.
"Em, you are a saint!" I said, snatching up a plate. "Thank Merlin for you!"
"Oi! What about us?" Dorcas whined.
"You and Marlene are both dolts" I smirked and chomped down some eggs. "So what are we doing for Alice's hen party?"
"Well, the girls and I were thinking to go to the best Muggle male strip club there is!" Marlene exclaimed.
"That's so ordinary, though" I complained, gulping down my eggs.
"Ah, but there is a twist! We're going to rent a piposine" Dorcas added.
"You mean, a limosine?" I corrected, stifling a laugh. It's amazing how the most usual thing in the Muggle world can seem fascinating to wizards and witches.
"That." Marlene said. "But the stripper is gonna be the driver"
"Oh, that will be so fun!" I exclaimed, before the pain of my hangover hit me again and I rubbed my head for a second time.
XoX
Hours, a strong Pepperup potion and a few screams later, Dorcas, Emmeline, Marlene and I were knocking excitedly on Alice's front door. She opened after a few good knocks, complete in a dark blue dress that went down to just above the knee, with bangles on her writs, full makeup and her short black hair thrown back.
"Oi, oi!" Dorcas yelped. "Frank needs to look out!"
"Watch it, Dorcas." Aforementioned Frank stepped out from behind his fiancée clad in a casual shirt and jeans and a smile on his friendly face.
"Are you having a stag party, Frank?" Emmeline asked, smiling at the couple.
"Not really. Caradoc, Benjy and I are just going to play some Quidditch and drink some Firewhiskey" Frank said, placing a kiss to Alice's blushed cheek.
"We'll take care of Alice here for you, don't worry" I assured him.
"Just make sure she doesn't run off with whatever stripper you guys got for her" Frank said, chuckling.
"How did you know there's gonna be a stripper?" Dorcas asked, wary.
"It's the ordinary hen party. I just guessed." Frank shrugged.
"Well.. We should be going now." Alice said, twisting in her fiancée's arms to give him a kiss. "I'll see you later"
"Have fun girls!" Frank said, waving us out and shutting the door.
Marlene took Alice's right arm in her hands. "Come on, we're Apparating there" before taking off to said location with us three right behind her.
XoX
"You rented a limousine?" Alice shrieked with delight upon seeing the vehicle.
"Finally someone who can say it correctly!" I exclaimed, sighing in relief. My friends laughed and the driver closed the door behind us after giving Marlene a very discrete wink.
"So where are we heading to?" Alice asked. "A strip club?"
"Right on point, missy!" Emmeline squealed. "A male one, mind you"
Alice smiled. "Well, I'm glad you kept that in mind" She smiled before taking the glass of champagne Marlene was offering.
Once everyone had a glass in their hands, I rose mine up and spoke, "To our Alice, no longer Gordon as of three days, soon to be Longbottom. May she and Frank have an amazing long life together with lots of little Alice's and Frank's running around"
All of us whooped and clinked glasses. After taking a few sips, Dorcas called out, "I call godmother of the first kid!"
"No fair!" Emmeline whined. Marlene started throwing profanities at Dorcas and I just sat back, smiling at my friends. They were all so crazy but I loved them endlessly. Emmeline was now trying to convince Alice that she would be a better choice for godmother instead of Dorcas, stating that at least she wouldn't teach the kid how to drink once he got old enough to hold a bottle like Dorcas most likely would. Alice was trying to calm her and Marlene down, saying that there wasn't even a talk of kids going on yet and they could relax for a couple of years before she made a decision.
Marlene though, wasn't taking a word in. She was still cursing Dorcas to hell and back, saying that apparently, she had called first for godmother when Alice came back from her first date with Frank in 5th year. ("Don't you remember? You said they would be shagging in a few months' time and I called for it and you just shrugged. Merlin Dorcas, I am going to be godmother!")
This continued up until we heard a throat be cleared from the front of the car. As if on cue, our five heads turned towards the driver who I just started to notice for the first time. He was rather fit. Marlene had always had good taste in guys. "Pardon me, Miss Marlene, but we've arrived at the destination"
Marlene suddenly changed moods and smirked grandly. It had always quite frightened me how my friend could go from happy to grumpy to evil mastermind in a minute. "Thank you, Ricardo."
Emmeline understood Marlene's smirk and got a piece of cloth from her dress pocket. "Alice, shut your eyes" The soon to be bride did so and Emmeline closed the cloth around her eyes, making her unable to see even if she did open her eyes.
"Em, what are you doing?" Alice asked, her voice going higher.
"Blindfolding you, of course. This is going to be a surprise" Emmeline grinned.
"Merlin, this isn't good, knowing you guys" Alice sighed in defeat.
"Oi! I am perfectly normal compared to these three weirdos" I protested, shrugging off said three's claims that I had always been the craziest.
"Okay! Can we just get on with it? This blindfold's uncomfortable" Alice shushed us all. I quickly opened the door before she blew up. An angry Alice was not something anybody sane would want to face.
Dorcas and Emmeline ushered an eye-impaired Alice out of the car and Marlene closed the door behind them. The driver was next and he stood next to us, looking at Marlene for something. Marlene put a hand up and I understood. She was telling him to wait until she gave a signal for Emmeline to take off the blindfold and the man to start taking his clothes off. I looked around us to check if anyone would be able to see a group of young women whooping for a man to take his clothes off but found we were in the backyard of a huge house with tall fences, immediately warding off unwanted eyes. I vaguely remembered Dorcas telling me earlier today, as I put all my efforts into not throwing up my breakfast, that we would be heading to Marlene's late aunt's house for the party. I just didn't know it was a mansion.
Marlene gave a quick nod of the head to the stripper and he started to take off his tuxedo while Emmeline removed the blindfold from Alice's eyes. I watched as Alice shrieked with shock upon seeing our driver undressing himself in a garden but I sensed a bit of enjoyment in the scream as well. The guy was very fit, after all.
"Our driver is the stripper?" She asked, still a bit shocked. Dorcas nodded with delight and laughed before telling her to shut up and enjoy the show. Emmeline took out a radio from the bag she had brought with her and turned it on, music instantly playing. Marlene started whooping and cheering for the man to take it off faster and I decided to get into it with them. After all, he's just a stripper. It's a harmless hen party.