Today I'll wear a lipstick that masks all the tears that have fallen
Eyeliner and eyeshadow will outshine lonely nights
With a touch on my eyebrows, the fallen become the mighty
I'll flush the apples of this face, hiding pale days of fear
With base I'll soften the markings of pain
But my soul, I'll brush it up with happiness
This is the one definite, renewing painting
Ana Paula Félix Gervoni
Pin had just finished correcting the last exams from the school year. He stands in front of a window down the hall, arms crossed, watching the crowd of students pass by: some hurrying to leave, others stalling, enjoying their last days together. The sunset gives his typical spiky hair a distinct glow. He wears a red t-shirt, a black dragon in its back, denim pants and black sneakers. Soon enough, he'd watch his baseball team in the tournament and he would be attending the graduation of his third year students.
He'd probably have no guts to stay until the end, though.
It's always hard to say goodbye to his students. Amidst bickering and lecturing, a sincere affection sprouted between them; and on that moment, he doesn't want to say goodbye to Sawako, Kazehaya, Ryu, Chizu, but out of all of them, especially… Her.
Ayane Yano.
It's a different pain from other farewells. Despite their frequent bickering, mostly over trivial matters, there's something on that girl that captivates him; maybe because he could see her for what she is, beyond the impression she can give people.
To the boys: the "trophy" they would proudly show after they put their hands on her.
To the girls: a sly vixen who wants the boys bowing down her feet.
To her friends: a strong, stylish, resolved girl; she also has experience with boys. She's the symbol of maturity.
Pin knew how much these are overstatements.
Is Yano beautiful? Undoubtedly so. But her beauty isn't only external, and all these hormonal driven brats don't care about that. Even when someone did care - Kent - it was hard to understand her, while Pin has a very sharp intuition to guess what she's hiding, even from herself.
Yano has a lot of boyfriends? Certainly, but she doesn't want every man in the world. They speak ill of her, blinded with jealously.
Is Yano mature? Until some point, yeah. She still has a lot to learn, how to deal with her feelings, especially her self-esteem.
What could he offer her but teacher advice?
He remembers the day he found her waltzing under a strong rain, stricken with guilt for dating Kent without sharing his feelings. And she'd managed to annoy Pin by saying she didn't regret anything.
As much as he likes to look proud and cool to his students, he doesn't want her to see him that way. He can be shaken, eventually, and he wants Yano to know that. He isn't above anybody, not even her, even when he had eight years of life experience on her. He just wants her to stop throwing pity parties over her mistakes to the point of wandering down the street, suffering unnecessary risks. What if he didn't show up, what could've happened?
It was a lot of concern: even after getting a towel to dry her auburn hair and cover her with a transparent garbage bag, he didn't hesitate to hold her firmly on her shoulders and voice his thoughts in a rarely used, fierce tone. Later that day, he even furiously called Kazehaya, who had even said it was hard to get Pin like that.
In the next day, he was still in a sour mood and he just about got over it after Yano talked to him about her decision of going to J University, in Tokyo. She finally decided to strive for something - even if it could bring her regrets, it wouldn't be for any lack of effort.
A short while later, in the cultural festival, Yano helped him with the makeup and his vampire costume. He noticed the many books under her table - he was glad she was working hard, but he suggested she enjoyed her last cultural festival, because she'd have time to study later.
"You are… too noble for your age. This is your strength. Have more confidence on yourself."
He knows about her inner pain, but he also knows about her limitless potential. Therefore, until she gets over her fears and insecurities, Pin would be always ready to cheer her up.
That would be enough… Right?
Well, at least, it should be.
Right after praising her, he leaned his body forwards to grab the vampire teeth. By raising his head, though, he found out a dangerous closeness between the two of their faces. The exchange of glances made him consider, for a brief second, to shorten the distance between their lips - but he managed to go back to reason. To end the mood, he yelled, pretending to not notice Yano's blushing face before leaving the room and going to the festival.
That was a close call. A very, very close call, even if he would usually make jokes about the weird mood between them sometimes. His vampire costume came in handy; with the makeup, even, he could mask any intentions or unwelcome feelings.
Maybe that's why women needed makeup, he wonders, behind so much powder, eyeliner, eyeshadow… Was that some kind of shield against the world?
Suddenly, he realizes he'd never seen Yano without makeup.
- Pin? - a familiar voice calls him. To her right, there she is, in her uniform. Its days are numbered, probably.
- Yano, what are you…?
- What is wrong with you?! - she walks huffing towards him. - Why haven't you said anything about finishing correcting the exams?! I just stood there in the yard, I waited for like, an entire age, and you didn't even show up!
Pin smiles in what was probably a lopsided smile, which only irritates her more.
- I started thinking too much, I lost track of the time. That's how geniuses work!
- Except you won't lose your shameless face! - she retorts, her hands flying to her waist.
- That's how I realize how I'm too weak hearted to be a teacher. - he comments out of nowhere, looking out of the window - I don't know how to say goodbye to my students. Every year end, I get like this.
That small secret surprises her.
- Well, I gotta learn how to say goodbye, even though I hate goodbyes…
He stares at her, knowing she's referring to Tokyo.
- Yeah… We can't control everything. Sometimes, we have to give up important things. - Yano lowers her head, but he goes on - But "give up" doesn't always mean "losing."
- Huh? - she raises her face in confusion.
- You'll still be able to keep in touch with everyone else. You could also visit them, or have them visit you after you move.
- Yes, but… The distance will be much bigger once I go through my exchange program.
- Yano… If you think the mutual affection that exists between you and the people you love will fade because of distance, then they were never true bonds to begin with. - he sees her raising her eyebrows. - Of course it will be different, you'll miss them, but it's with these kinds of twists in life that we're able to realize who really cares about us. That feeling doesn't change.
- I think… You're right.
- But of course. I'm always right! Hahahaha!
- Ugh… You're back to normal.
They walk up to the stairs near the end of the hallway and Yano starts chatting about ghost stories to frighten him. She doesn't stop, even after leaving school and heading towards the usual streets they walk.
- H-hey, I think that's enough, don't you think? - he looks around him, frightened, when she's about to tell another story.
- Hahaha! Okay, sorry.
The sound of her laugh catches his attention; after all, it's a rare thing to see on her face.
- Yano… You could've just left, I was late. Why did you wait for me?
- Ah… - she blushes lightly - Because I got used to it. It's weird to walk without you, and I know you don't like walking here when it gets darker, so… I don't know. I just thought I should wait.
- Huh… - he scratches his chin - Isn't there anything else you want to say?
There it is: Yano's face flushing all the shades of red he liked seeing.
- S-shut up!
- Hehe. - he reaches out and ruffles her hair - So?
She fixes her messy bangs and shyly begins to talk.
- I… Can't go to Tokyo without thanking you for your support and for all the times you've listened to me. If it weren't for you, I'd probably never allow myself to take more risks, especially with the college thing. So, even if you're an unreasonable dumbass most of the time I… acknowledge you can be nice when you want to. S-so… - she stares at him - Thank you!
Their eyes meet and there's a short moment where time seems to pause. Yano's breath quickens, a deep, unexplainable anxiety rising up. Pin's seemingly calm demeanor only leaves her more nervous.
This time, he smiles gently.
- If my advices worked, it's because you were allowing yourself to listen and think about what I said. So, most of the merit is yours to take.
She nods, avoiding his gaze, joining her hands in front of her body.
They walk further, and only then Yano realizes Pin is watching her, still smiling.
- W-what?
- Sometimes, I try to picture how you look like without makeup.
Her jaw drops and her cheeks flush.
- You… What are you trying to say?! - she asks, offended.
- Ah… Don't get me wrong. I'm just curious.
- …Why?
- Well… Remember that one time you saw me in my natural state, without hair gel?
- I do… And it was more than once, even.
- So: don't you think it's fair that I get to see you in your natural state as well?
He ends with a joking wink, but Yano avoids his gaze, embarrassed.
- What's the point of trying to see me with a clean face?! Why that now?! I'm just… used to using makeup, that's all! - she blubbers.
- Hey… You don't need to get nervous!
- S-so stop saying weird things, you… porcupine!
- What?! Who do you think you're talking to, you draft of a Barbie?!
- Argh… It's not possible that this is the same mentor who was giving me advice just two seconds ago. That's too much for my head. - losing her patience, she widens her steps, leaving him behind.
- Hey now! - he runs to the student, holding her wrist. - Hold on a second! Who said she wanted to walk with me because she's worried sick about me?
- That was true until you came with this senseless talk! And I never said I was "worried sick," don't put words in my mouth!
He sighs, releasing her arm.
- I just think that makeup was a way you found to hide who you really are, because you're afraid to be yourself.
- W-what…?
- I know you spend a lot of time thinking you were an awful person, and highlighting your outer beauty could be a way to feel less ugly inside. Am I right?
- I… I never thought of it that way…
- So did I, until half an hour ago. That's why I'm so great! Hahaha!
She rolls her eyes.
- So, Yano… Now that you're, maybe, sort of, accepting yourself… Who knows, maybe one day you'll get out of your house without having to worry about smudging mascara or your lipstick. Because you'll feel pretty enough, with or without makeup.
She freezes for a few seconds and feels her heart beat faster, as her face flushed deeper.
Pin waits for an answer.
- I… think I'm… hungry. You were late and I haven't eaten lunch.
Ah. "So she changed the subject", he thinks, frustrated, looking around until he spots a snack bar.
- We can eat there.
She nods and they enter it, choosing to sit on a table for two. He asks for a hamburger and soda; unlike him, she chooses a natural sandwich and juice.
- So young and such a backwoodsman… That's awful. - he jokes, chewing his food.
She stares at him for a few seconds before sipping some of her juice.
- What's that? You're ignoring me now?
- You're so noisy…
- I'm just trying to avoid an awkward mood.
- And I'm just trying to eat! - suddenly, her face relaxes. - Oh… forget it. I'm kind of confused about stuff. I'm sorry.
- Hm… I wonder if you deserve my forgiveness!
Then, both fall in silence until their snacks are finished. Before they pay the bill, Yano says she's going to the bathroom.
- Mine was this much, right? - she asks, leaving the money on their table.
- Ah… Yeah, but I can pay.
- No, that wouldn't be fair. Anyway, I'll be right back.
- I'll wait for you outside.
Pin pays the bills and leaves the snack bar. He gazes at the sky: a dark blue filled with stars and a beautiful full moon, its light dimly shining down the posts scattered across the sidewalk. He rests his back on one of them, the snack bar to his left, as he keeps watching the sky, enjoying the soft evening breeze.
Minutes later, he sees Yano leaving the snack bar and he widens his eyes as she approaches.
- There you go.
- You…?
- Yeah, I washed my face. - arms crossed, she stares at the ground as if it was particularly interesting - Are you satisfied now?
For a second, he feels his heart stop, but then he lets a sigh leave his lips and smiles sweetly.
- I thought that would take a long time… That's what I call progress. - he teases.
- Shut up! You constantly challenge me, and… For some reason, your challenges encourage me. Is that a problem?
- No… None at all.
Pin leans towards Yano and slides his thumb on her right brow.
- What the…?
- So, there's a small imperfection here, apparently since you were born. You cover it up with pencil.
She tries to say something, but falls silent when she feels the same touch sliding around her face.
- You've got slight dark circles. And your cheeks… Flush even without applying blush. There's a small scar on your chin, you probably fell somewhere. And your mouth… - his thumb slides over her lower lip - It's very soft.
- Pin… - she freezes, unable to speak anything at all.
- Yeah… - his gaze rises up to meet her eyes. - You're beautiful anyway.
Yano's heart beats so fast she swears she hears the blood thrumming in her ears.
Pin withdraws his hand, but before he moves away from her, Yano snakes her arms around his neck and seals their lips together.
He widens his eyes, but they eventually fall closed as his own lips open to deepen that soft kiss, his arms finding her waist, bringing her closer, their tongues intertwining together.
They pull away from each other, not quite breathless, but flushed.
- Why do you… Do these things? - she asks - I… Don't know what to feel for you. I don't know what to do when you're near. Even though I'm your student… I'm still a woman. You can't play with my feelings!
He shrinks into himself, his face showing some guilt.
- You're right… I've never wanted to play with that. But… Precisely because I'm your teacher, I… Took a long time to figure it out. I just wanted to help you move forward. But… That day under the rain, I was sure of it. You weren't feeling right. I didn't even sleep well that night.
- Yeah… I remember you barely spoke to me the next day. - she lowers her head - But you know… If I manage to enter college…
- So what? - he softly tilts her chin up, their eyes meeting each other once again - I told you, it's not like people would never see you or talk to you again.
- But… The scholarship…!
- Yano… Stop worrying so much about uncertain things. Live the present. What do you want now?
She stares at him, her eyes looking a little too wet. She rests her forehead on his chest.
- Pin… You know this is madness, right?
- I do. But where's the fun if it isn't? - he pats her head - Besides, it's not everyone who gets the privilege of being with such a cool and handsome guy like me.
- Right. Sure… - she tried not to laugh in vain.
- Come on, it's true!
- I won't even bother with this one…
They smile, facing each other. Then, Pin holds one of her hands, intertwining their fingers, and they kept on strolling the streets, like they've done so many times without ever knowing how things would change before that.
Now, they knew they could see each other and care about each other even after Yano's graduation. After all, it doesn't matter where they go: they would always be united by the love that, unexpectedly, bloomed between them.
The love that inspired them to show the world the best versions of themselves.
*** Translation by my dear friend kurohyacchan. Thank you so much! S2 ***