How Blue Her Eyes Can Be, a sailor moon fanfic

Title: How Blue Her Eyes Can Be
Summary: When Princess Kakyuu sent them back to Earth, Seiya thought everything would be the same, like she'd just stepped out for a minute. She was wrong. There's a place for Seiya now, if she wants it. One-shot. S/U, implied Y/M
A/N: There are just not enough Seiya/Usagi stories out there, I think, especially with Chibi-Usa in it. I came up with this one-shot and just felt like I needed to write it. I realize that the premise has probably been done before, but... you know how it is when a plot grabs you and won't let go. Please let me know what you think, yeah?

It happens fast.

One minute, she's on Kinmoku, waiting in the throne room for Princess Kakyuu to speak. Healer and Maker are there, too, though Fighter doesn't say anything to them. They've been... distant... ever since the four of them returned to Kinmoku. What happened on Earth hangs between them like a perpetual ghost that no one can bring themselves to mention, even though enough time has passed that they should be okay. None of them can speak about the planet or the senshi that they've left behind. It's too hard. They have an unspoken agreement to try to forget about the past and look forward to the future.

Princess Kakyuu ruins all that.

The words float in and out of Fighter's ears. She's pretty sure she misses about half of them. Worried about them. Feels that they're not functioning correctly. Thinks that they'll be better off this way. Wishes them the best. Maker looks shocked, Healer is opening her mouth to argue, Fighter wants to slow down until she can focus enough to understand. She doesn't get the chance. There's a blinding flash of light and the next time she looks around...

... They're on Earth.

Somehow or another, the three of them separate. Yaten is pissed and Taiki is withdrawing and Seiya is... numb. She drifts down the street, uncertain of where to go or what to do. Princess Kakyuu doesn't want them to return. That much, she got. It hurts a part of her way down deep, a part that she can hardly access anymore, because it was left behind with a beautiful blonde moon princess. What will they do on Earth? They're no longer The Three Lights. Hell, they're no longer male.

Ironically enough, it happens the same way as before. A collision as she turns the next corner sends her stumbling back, though she miraculously manages to stay on her feet. It doesn't matter, though, as she doubts she'd even notice the pain. Her whole world has narrowed to the sound of that familiar voice spilling apologies left and right.

Blue eyes look up.

Blue eyes look down.

"Seiya?"

They end up at a small apartment on the East side of the town. It's a moderately wealthy neighborhood, but on the lower side of things when all is said and done. Tsukino Usagi – is it even Tsukino anymore? Seiya isn't sure – has aged well. Four years has allowed her to finish growing into her body. She's all gentle curves and grace now, though the bump on her forehead is an indication that she hadn't completely grown out of her teenaged klutziness. Seiya's presence has her noticeably rattled, and she seems almost confused and out of sorts as she opens the door and ushers Seiya inside.

"I can't believe you're here," Usagi says once they've both got a glass of lemonade and they're sitting on the couch. There's a gap between them, but they're still close enough to touch. "Seiya, I thought I'd never see you again."

That's the time to tell her the truth, but Seiya doesn't. She says, "I guess I couldn't stay away from you, Odango."

Usagi smiles, just a little. "How have you been? How is Kinmoku? Princess Kakyuu?"

"All fine," Seiya says, because as far as she knows, it's true. The four years she spent on Kinmoku feel like something out of a dream. Like she closed her eyes for two minutes after the battle and suddenly time jumped forward without her knowledge. "Tell me about you and the other senshi. I want to hear it all."

She really does, but as Usagi obliges her and starts talking, Seiya feels an intense warmth settling around her soul. It's soothing and prompts forth a level of exhaustion that she hasn't felt in ages. Her eyelids grow heavy and she blinks lazily, deciding to close them for a moment. One moment turns into several, and eventually, Usagi's voice falls quiet. Then a quilt is placed around her shoulders, and a split second before exhaustion completely steals her away, lips brush against her forehead.

There's a slight weight on her lap. Small hands are poking at her cheeks and exploring her hair and face with curiosity. Seiya opens her eyes and looks down into big crimson eyes framed by pale pink hair, like cotton candy. The little girl grins when she realizes that Seiya is awake and giggles, clapping her hands together. It's like looking at a younger version of Usagi and, full of equal parts awe and grief, Seiya reaches up and touches the child's cheek. She knows she was too late, but it still hurts.

"Hello there," whispers Seiya, stroking the soft skin beneath her hand. She's usually not good with kids, but this child is something precious.

"H'lo," the girl says in return, fumbling with the unfamiliar world. Her forehead creases in concentration. "H'lo."

Seiya muffles a laugh. The cuteness helps to send the last of the weariness and mental fog away for the time being, and she feels more clear-headed than she has in ages. "You're so adorable it's sickening," she says.

"Chibi-Usa, you little vixen." Usagi pokes her head around the corner and shakes her head, but there is fondness in her smile. "I'm sorry, Seiya. She couldn't resist trying to see who you were. I told her to leave you alone, but..."

"It's alright. I shouldn't sleep too late, anyway," Seiya says, realizing that she has no idea what time it is. Where she is. What she's going to do. None of it matters, because Usagi is there, and so, apparently, is her daughter. She tries to swallow the question but it slips out anyway – clearly, she is a glutton for punishment. "Where's Mamoru-san?"

Usagi doesn't say anything for a moment. Something strange flickers over her face, but it's gone in a flash, replaced by grief. "He's dead," she says.

Just like that...

... The world changes.

Again.

Their first day together is spent like it's not their first day together at all. Usagi needs to go to the grocery store. Seiya and Chibi-Usa tag along. Neither Mamoru nor Princess Kakyuu are mentioned. The simplicity of the trip, of guarding the cart and Chibi-Usa while Usagi bustles around getting vegetables and fruit and cereal and, when she thinks no one is looking, cookies, begins healing a wound that she didn't even know existed.

"Do you want some help taking this back to your apartment?" she asks, thrusting her hands into her pockets.

There's a pause, and then Usagi looks at her for a long time without saying anything. Questions cross the blonde's face, like there's a lot she wants to ask, but she's not quite sure how to start. "Thanks," she says finally. "That would be great."

Seiya carries the bags while Usagi carries Chibi-Usa. It's not a long walk, only about fifteen minutes, but Seiya is sweating by the time they make it back. She's forgotten how hot Earth's atmosphere could get, but it feels good to walk into the building and feel the air conditioner pumping away. Being with Usagi feels good, period. She tries not to think about that as they get into the elevator together and ride up to Usagi's floor. Usagi opens the door and they file in.

"Maybe you should take a shower," she says. "You can borrow some of my clothes."

"Thanks," Seiya says, suddenly realizing that what she's wearing is literally all that she's got. All of the things she had on Kinmoku – they're gone. She'll never see them again. Strange how that thought doesn't hurt as much as she thinks it's supposed to. "I do feel kind of gross. Sure you don't mind?"

Casual, but it's a question that actually means a lot, and Usagi seems to recognize this, because she takes her time in answering. She puts Chibi-Usa down on the floor and sticks a cherry Popsicle into the toddler's little hand before she turns around to face Seiya. "No, we don't mind," she says, and smiles.

One day becomes two, which becomes three, and before Seiya knows it, she's been there the whole week. Usagi has never once asked why she's there, or when she'll be leaving, or if she'd even like to stay. A strange sort of understanding has come to pass between the two of them. When Taiki calls one day and Seiya answers the phone, it's like a jolt from the past to hear her sister's voice, and it's so frightening that she hangs up without thinking. It rings again. Seiya forces herself to pick up.

"Don't say anything," Taiki says immediately. "I don't even want to hear it. I'm sending you a debit card in the mail. I've gotten access to our bank accounts. Including interest, there's enough money in there for us to never have to work again if we're careful. Don't be foolish, Seiya."

That's it. A simple 'don't be foolish' and the dial tone is ringing in her ear. Having heard from Taiki makes her feel sick and she wanders into the living room, where Chibi-Usa is working on a puzzle of some sort. She sinks down onto the couch, close enough to help if the child gets into something dangerous, and stares at the ceiling. She loves Taiki and Yaten – of course she does – but a part of her had wondered if they wanted to leave. If they would go back. A debit card... maybe not.

It's good news. She can move out on her own if she wants. If she wants. Seiya looks down at Chibi-Usa, who, perhaps sensing the stare, abandons her game to crawl across the floor and reach up impatiently. With a grin, she scoops the kid up and balances the fragile body on her knee. What she wants is to stay here, with Usagi and Chibi-Usa, and bar the door so that reality can never get in.

What she gets is something entirely different, but quite possibly, almost as good.

It's been about a month before either one of them broaches the topic. Seiya's debit card has arrived. She withdraws some money and puts it on the table, and later, after Usagi comes home, it's gone. Usagi stops sending Chibi-Usa to daycare all day, and instead switches her to the half a day program, so that Seiya can watch her in the afternoon. Sometimes it's like Seiya has always been there, and she was just imagining the time she spent on Kinmoku, away from this perfect paradise.

"Odango." It slips out one day. She's bad for that. "I'm not going back."

Usagi is making them lunch. Pasta with cheese, just the way Chibi-Usa likes it. She pauses to lick the knife with which she's cutting the cheese. "I know," she says.

"Princess Kakyuu doesn't want us back."

There must be something in Seiya's voice, because Usagi puts down the knife and places Chibi-Usa's bowl on her tray. As Chibi-Usa starts happily making a mess, getting more of the cheese on her than in her mouth, she walks around the table and wraps her arms around Seiya. It's one of the first times they've really touched and it makes Seiya's heart skip a beat. She can't help wrapping her arms around Usagi and clinging desperately, because this is all she has left. No tears – she'll never admit to any – but there is a mysterious dampness on Usagi's shirt.

"It doesn't matter," Usagi whispers at last. "I want you. I want all of you."

"So I can stay?" Seiya recognizes that she sounds ridiculously young, but she can't help it.

"Of course." A pale hand smoothes back dark hair and Usagi smiles tentatively. "Seiya, you've always had a place with me. That will never change as long as you want it. I thought you knew that."

She does.

She just...

... wants to make sure.

Another couple of months go by. Usagi stops working so much and is now home with them in the afternoon. Seiya still sleeps on the couch, but sometimes she wonders if maybe she'll soon move to Usagi's bedroom. Then she mentally slaps herself, because what she has is worth so much more than anything she could dream of, and being selfish might ruin that. She and Chibi-Usa are half-sleeping on that very couch one hot June afternoon when Usagi walks by.

"He died in a surprise attack."

Instant wakefulness, at least on Seiya's part. "What?" she says stupidly.

"None of us were expecting it," Usagi says, staring off into the distance. It's like she's talking to herself, and Seiya just happened to be close enough to eavesdrop. "Well – you won't understand this – but we think they came from the future. They wanted to stop it from happening. And they did." Her shoulders drop. "The two of us were going to get married. No one was supposed to know I was pregnant with Chibi-Usa until afterwards. They wanted me to wait just in case. They were... angry... when they found out."

It explains so much, Seiya realizes. Why Usagi has distanced herself from the senshi. Why Seiya hasn't seen any of them even though she's been here for months. Why Mamoru isn't around, and why Usagi was struggling to raise a child on her own, even though she's only twenty years old. Seiya looks down at Chibi-Usa and strokes a hand through the pale pink hair. What can she say to heal the phantom pain in Usagi's voice? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

"I know they were just trying to help," Usagi is saying. "They were right, really. I couldn't have known for sure it was Chibi-Usa. But how could I have ever taken that chance?" She turns, her eyes wild and desperate. "I couldn't. I couldn't!"

Seiya doesn't need to understand. She reaches out and Usagi crumbles on top of her. The three of them lay there together, tangled up on the couch, until long after the sun goes down and the moon comes out to kiss her weeping daughter's cheeks.

Not only is it Usagi's birthday, but it's also Chibi-Usa's. Seiya makes an effort; she buys a birthday cake (chocolate with real strawberries on top), ice cream (vanilla to cut the sweetness), and buys a brand new teddy bear for Chibi-Usa. She doesn't know what to give Usagi. Well, okay, she knows what she wants to give, but what can she give is a whole new question entirely, and that's the one she's not sure how to answer.

Usagi looks surprised and happy by the effort. "Seiya, you didn't have to go through so much trouble," she says, touching the crown that adorns Chibi-Usa's hair. The little girl is four years old. Usagi is twenty-one.

"I wanted to," Seiya says, hoping that it's clear she means it. "Odango, you deserve everything. The best of everything. I'm sorry this is all I could do."

"Seiya..." Usagi ducks her shoulders, lowers her head, and takes a breath. It seems to surprise them both when she reaches up and pulls Seiya down for a chaste kiss. The contact is brief and makes them both shiver. "What I wanted most for my birthday, I already got," she breathes against Seiya's mouth. "You came home to me."

There's a weird feeling prickling behind Seiya's eyes. "I never want to leave," she says. It's a kind of promise, and Usagi seems to realize that, because she drags Seiya down for another kiss.

Later, they feast on cake and ice cream until all three of them feel sick, and even later, after Chibi-Usa has had a bath and been put down to bed, the two of them go to bed in Usagi's bedroom. Except it's not just Usagi's bedroom now, it's their bedroom, and their bed, which they put to excellent use. Usagi is all pale skin and soft cries and curious, like a kitten, and Seiya is happy, like she never thought she could be, and the best part is when they're done and she settles down to sleep with the woman who means everything to her.

"Papa."

It's been about six months when Chibi-Usa looks up at her and says... that. They're at the playground. Seiya is dressed in a pair of shorts and a tank top with her hair, for once, loose around her shoulders, just because Usagi loves it that way. Chibi-Usa is wearing an identical pair of shorts and a t-shirt, and the two of them keep getting adoring smiles from the other parents in the part. It's not the kind of smile Seiya is used to getting from strangers, but she finds that she likes it.

"What?" she says blankly, looking down at Chibi-Usa.

"Papa, ice cream!" Chibi-Usa says urgently, one chubby finger pointing towards the ice cream truck that is making its way through the park. When Seiya fails to respond, her lower lip comes out in a pout, and big tears start welling up in crimson eyes. Her voice is bordering on a shriek when she cries, "Papa! Ice cream!"

Seiya might be in shock, but six months has been long enough to ingrain certain responses in her. Automatically, she stands and scoops Chibi-Usa up, balancing the child on her hip with an ease that is still shocking, and heads of to meet the ice cream truck. The position of the sun tells her that it won't be long until Usagi joins them, so she buys three kinds – two strawberry and a chocolate.

By the time they're done, Usagi is there. Chibi-Usa squirms down with a cry of "Mama!" and runs over to her. Usagi laughs and kneels down to greet her daughter.

Their daughter?

"Mama, Papa bought ice cream!"

Usagi's eyes widen slightly. She looks up at Seiya, who is standing in front of them with a helpless expression as melting ice cream runs in sticky rivulets down her hands, and then slowly grins. "I think ice cream is the perfect treat for our spoiled little angel," she says.

Their daughter.

On the anniversary of Mamoru's death, they visit his grave together. Usagi insists that Seiya come along, even though Seiya's not too sure that she feels right in being there. She has, after all, replaced Mamoru. But she can't say no to Usagi and so she finds herself standing about twenty feet away from the grave while Usagi and Chibi-Usa pay their respects with flowers and sweet cakes. Chibi-Usa is a little restless – she doesn't remember this man and is too young to understand what significance he might hold in her life – but she kneels beside her mother and stays still when Usagi cries.

"I figured you'd be here."

It's the first time Seiya has heard that voice in ages, but she recognizes it immediately. She turns and looks at Aino Minako. "Odango wanted to come," she says, perhaps sounding a little more defensive than she wanted to.

Minako smiles. The wind plays with her long blonde hair. She looks sad. "I know. Usagi-chan has come here every year since Mamoru-san died. She used to spend all day here and none of us knew how to get her to come away. You've been good for her, Seiya. I was worried about her... but after Yaten came to me, I wasn't. I knew you'd take care of her."

Some subtle weight that Seiya didn't even know was on her shoulders disappears. It's like she's gotten a blessing from the in-laws, except the senshi aren't in-laws, just sisters with the ability to make her life hell. "She really misses you," she says.

"I miss her, too. We all did. Mamoru-san's death threw us all off." Minako looks faintly uncomfortable. "We... reacted wrongly, when we heard about Usagi's pregnancy."

Seiya doesn't say anything. That's okay, though, because her silence says it all. Minako nods and gives her an envelope. Then she casts one more looks at Usagi and Chibi-Usa, her eyes filled with wistfulness, before she turns away and starts walking back down the stairs. At the bottom, Seiya can just vaguely see a silver-haired girl waiting patiently beside a car. She looks down at the envelope and considers tossing it away. Instead, she tucks it in her pocket.

Usagi calls her over. Insists on it. "Mamo-chan, you remember Seiya," she says as Seiya ambles a bit closer. "She's my..." Her voice trails off and she looks uncertain. Seiya doesn't blame her. They've never really discussed what they are or where they're going. They live in the moment, and she likes it that way, but she finds herself waiting with baited breath for Usagi to finish her sentence. "She's my lover," Usagi says at last, and she smiles sadly. "I think she might be my wife someday." Her eyes are on Seiya as she says this, and Seiya stops walking, stops breathing.

Pleased by this response, Usagi looks back at the grave. "I know you were worried about me. You wouldn't have wanted my life to be like that. Well, you don't need to worry about me anymore, Mamo-chan. Seiya is everything I've ever wanted." She furrows her brow and frowns a little, like she thinks that may be a bit insulting to her ex-fiancé, but doesn't refute it. "Thanks for watching over us." Carefully, wincing at the pain from kneeling too long, she gets up and sets her candle down on the stone.

"Papa!" Chibi-Usa says, reaching up. Seiya snaps out of her shock and reaches for the little girl with numb hands. Chibi-Usa is getting a bit big to be carried for long distances, but Seiya doesn't mind. She likes the steady, comforting weight on her hip.

"Odango," she says, sounding a little lost. "Are you sure?"

"Oh yes," Usagi says. "I am unsure about a lot of things in my life, Seiya. But if there's one thing I've never doubted, it's you." Her hand slides into Seiya's as she rests her head against Seiya's shoulder. "From the moment we walked into each other on the street, you've been all I wanted. I know you were crushed when Princess Kakyuu made you come here, but to us, you were like a gift from the gods, and I want you to be with me always."

There's a peculiar feeling in Seiya's eyes, and before she can blink it away, the first tear escapes. If Usagi notices, she says nothing. The three of them stand there for a long time.

Amazingly, Seiya has finally found something that hasn't changed. The Hikawa Shrine. She can only remember being there once or twice, but it looks the same, including the hundred or so stairs she has to carry Chibi-Usa up. "Wow, you need to go on a diet," she says, huffing and puffing exaggeratedly by the time they reach the top. Chibi-Usa laughs and claps her hands, and Usagi, momentarily distracted from her extreme case of nerves, giggles as well.

She stops as soon as she catches sight of what's waiting for her. All of them are there – Ami and Taiki, Makoto, Rei, Minako and Yaten, Haruka, Michiru, Hotaru, and Setsuna – and Usagi looks like she wants to die. Seiya swings Chibi-Usa down onto the ground and encourages the girl with a nudge to grab her mother's hand. Chibi-Usa does, quite happily, and Usagi snaps out of her shock. Her eyes go from Chibi-Usa, who has never been more content than when she walks between her mother and father, to Seiya. It's noticeable when the tension and fear drains from her shoulders and Seiya smiles to herself.

They cross the yard together. By the time they're halfway there, Minako can't contain herself, and she runs across the remaining few feet and throws herself at Usagi. That seems to be the catalyst for a group hug that Seiya just barely escapes. She stands off to the side and watches with amusement as Chibi-Usa is yanked into the hug as well and promptly smothered by several crying aunts. Taiki and Yaten walk over to her and Seiya looks them up and down, not bothering to be subtle about it. Her sisters look good. Earth has been good to them all.

"Alright?" she asks anyway, just in case.

Taiki nods.

Yaten says, "I guess."

That's an ecstatic yes. Seiya's mouth quirks into a little smile and glances back at the pile, easily tracking down the two sets of odango. Something that has been quite tight in her chest for most of her life eases and disappears entirely. "Me too."

The End

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