A/N: These are Hibari's thoughts and it is influenced by the 5927 + 1859 fanfiction that I'm writing.
If you haven't read my other fanfiction (on which this piece is based), then it will make no sense to you.
If you want to read it go to my profile and click on the story with the title "An Ominous Love 1859 5927".
All These Small Details
All these small details...
The ones you think I'd never notice, the ones that shouldn't even pass through my mind. All of them... quietly engulf my entity.
I never thought it was possible... How was I so easily deceived?
All these small details...
The odour you leave behind while walking.
The way you sigh and swear when I warn you of the consequences.
The way you smile when you see your weak lover.
The way you hold my pet as if it was always yours...
All these small details...
How come they intrigue me so much?
How come I see them so intensely?
How come...
Your native language has started feeling more familiar than my own.
Your disgusting cigarettes have started looking more appealing than my loneliness.
Your annoying presence has started getting more pleased than my solitude.
All these small details that surround you... All these small details I want to know.
All these deep secrets and scars that you hide... All these secrets and scars I want to be revealed.
When you lower your head and silently look away...
When you glare into my eyes and scream your lungs out...
When you quietly crawl to the balcony in order to ease your mind...
When you noisily search for company even at my own persona...
All these small details... I want them more.
I want even more...
I need them.
This is the beginning of my deadlock.
You know I'd never confess.
You know I'd never... never...
It's suffocating.
These feelings put needles into my heart.
These emotions throw kerosene into my veins.
It's hurtful. It's deadly...
All these small details...
Everything that surrounds you.
It's all painful... for I can't...
...I can't make it mine.
I can't touch it.
I can't feel it.
I can't entangle with it.
I can't let myself...
...I can't let myself be vulnerable for you...
I can't throw away my defenses for your sake.
I can't give everything up for your kiss.
I can't sell my soul for your touch.
I can't...
I can't...
...I can...
...I will...
Eventually...
Maybe...
Some day...