Chocolate With Nuts (Another Spongebob Squarepants parody. Warning: Cotains some 'CHOCOLATE!' screaming)
A fine day in Odaiba as we saw a 11 year old girl waiting for something inside her mailbox. The girl's name is Hikari Yagami. She's currently sitting while humming happily. Oustide, we can see a postman trying to open the mailbox to put in the letters. As it is opened, she springs to action.
"Hi Mailman!" she happily shouted to the mailman by surprise. The frighten mailman then runs away in horror. "Okay see you tomorrow." She said to the running mailman. Just then her friend shows up. Her name is Miyako Inoue.
"The mails here. What did you get?" Miyako asked.
"Let's see." Hikari starts to check on her letters only to find almost all of them are for Tailmon. Then she found something interesting. "A magazine!" she cheered before she looks at the magazines cover. "That's funny, I didn't remember suscribing to 'Fancy Living Digest'." She then opens a page of the magazine with both her and Miyako were amused with what's inside on the magazine. They saw a rich man with a rich mansion with a large pool and multiple bags of money.
"This guy is so rich. He has a swimming pool in a swimming pool." Hikari said, pointing to the swimming pool.
"This guy got shoes." Miyako said, pointing her finger on the rich man's shoes. Just then, someone snatches the magazine from them. That person is Taichi Yagami.
"Give me that. Stealing my mail eh? Well you're lucky because I'm not telling the authorities." Taichi said to the two girls.
"Taichi. How do that guy be so rich?" Hikari asked.
"They're entrepreneurs. They sell things to people." Taichi answered.
"What kind of things?" Hikari asked.
"I don't know. Things that they wanted to buy. Now get off from my mails." Taichi then leaves the two girls with Hikari having a great idea.
"That's it Miyako! We're going to be entrepreneurs!" Hikari exclaimed cheerfully.
"Is that got to hurt?" Miyako asked only to get no answer.
"Quick Miyako without thinking. If you can have anything in the world right now, what would it be?" Hikari asked.
"Uh. More time for thinking." Miyako answered as she sweatdroped.
"No some kind of item, something that would people pay for." Hikari continues to think what it is.
"A chocolate bar?" Miyako suggested.
"That's it Miyako! We're going to be chocolate bar saleswomen." Hikari said, accepting Miyako's suggestion.
We can see our two girls carrying lots of chocolate in their hands.
"Fancy Living, here we come!" Hikari said.
"Make way for some enter-par-twy-no-wees!" Miyako added as they arrived to a house.
"Okay. Get ready for our first costumer." Hikari said as she knocks the door. As the door opens, it shows a fat guy named Junpei Shibayama. "Good afternoon sir. Would you like to buy some chocolate?" Hikari asked.
"Chocolate? Did you just say Chocolate?" Junpei asked back.
"Yes sir. With or without nuts." Miyako answered. Junpei suddenly started to become more angrier.
"Chocolate? Chocolate? CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE!" Junpei started to scream crazily as both Hikari and Miyako ran away from him. Then Junpei started to chase them as well while screaming 'CHOCOLATE!' at the same time.
After a wild chase, the two girls arrived to a new house.
"Okay that costumer didn't count. This is our real first step." Hikari said as she knocks the door. As the door opens, it reveals a guy named Kouji Minamoto."Good morning sir, would you like to buy some chocolate?" she asked.
"Chocolate bars?" Kouji asked.
"Yes sir we're chocolate bar saleswomen." Hikari answered.
"Looks like a fool to me. That's not the way to carry those chocolates." Kouji said as Hikari saw Miyako putting all of her chocolate on her pants. "No no no no no wrong. You girls want to be greats sales women right?" Kouji asked.
"Oh yes certainly sir!" the two girls answered at the same time with puppy eyes on their faces.
"Well I think your business will be dead without one of these." Kouji then shows a bag.
"Wow... what is it?" Hikari asked.
"It's a chocolate bar bag you knucklehead. Espacially designed to carry the hold any kinds of chocolae bars." Before Hikari could even touch the bag with her finger, Kouji pulled it away. "But I'm wasting my time. You don't need it much." Kouji continued as he walked away into his house.
"We need them! We need them!" the two girls said at the same time.
We can see Kouji counting money on his hands. "Bye girls! Happy hunting!" he said as he went inside and laughed a little. "Heheh. Suckers." Kouji continued.
"Fancy Living, here we come! Lalalala!" the two girls sing while walking to the next house. "Let's try next door." Hikari said as she knocks the door, revealing Kouji. "Say aren't you that guy who sold those chocolate bags earlier?" she asked.
"I don't recall. But it looks to me that you have to many bags there. I think you'll be smart enough to buy these Carrying Bar Bags carrying bags." Kouji answered as he shows a large bag to the two girls.
"We take twenty." Miyako said.
The two girls arrived to another house as Hikari pressed the door alarm (since her hands are full of carrying bags carrying bags). The door the opens, revealing a women named Mimi Tachikawa.
"Hello there girls. How may I help you?" Mimi asked.
"Hello there miss, we're selling chocolate bars." Hikari said.
"That sounds heavenly. I'll take one." Mimi said.
"One chocolate bar coming up!" Hikari picks up a bag from the 'Carrying Bar Bag Carrying Bag' and opens the 'Carrying Bar Bag' only to find another bag. "Huh?" she then sweatdrops before laughed a bit to Mimi. She opens another only to find another. She opens another, she gets another. While the process continues, Miyako didn't search for chocolate bars inside the bag, instead she opens and closes the zip in her pants multiple times.
"I don't have time for this." Mimi then slams the door while Hikari managed to found one.
"I got it! One chocolate bar for the nice..." before she could continue, a scream of "CHOCOLATE!" was heard. "... lady." She finishes as she and Miyako ran away for the chocolate screaming Junpei, with Miyako dropping lots of chocolate from her pants.
We're know see our two saleswomen taking a break in a cafe drinking some fruit juice.
"I don't get it. What do we have to do now?" Hikari asked.
"I know! Let's get naked!" Miyako suggested.
"No let's save it for future references. There must be something. What is the reason we brought those bags?" Hikari asked.
"He said we were rookies." Miyako answered.
"That's it, he feel that we're special." Hikari exclaimed.
"Well if that's the case, I'm going to buy more bags!" Miyako rans to outside excitingly.
"No wait Miyako!" Hikari called as Miyako stopped on her tracks. "Why don't we try be nice?" Hikari suggested.
"Okay." Miyako replied.
"Remeber Miyako. Be nice." Hikari advised as the two girls arrived to a house. As Hikari opens the door, it opens, revealing a guy named Ken Ichijouji.
"Yes?" Ken asked.
"I love you." Miyako said as Ken slams the door shut.
"I think you're overdoing it. Let me try." Hikari said as she rings the house bell.
"Please go away." Ken said as he opens the door narrowly.
"How do you do?" Hikari asked.
"How do I do?" Ken asked back.
"What to buy some chocolate?" Hikari offered.
"We got to know!" Moyako exclaimed.
"Sorry chocolate have sugar and chocolate make people fat. Isn't that right lover girl?" Ken asked to Miyako who's stomach has some popping bubbles that make her tickled.
"That tickles." Miyako said.
"As you can see, me and chocolate no longer hang to each other." Ken then shows a picture of him being fat years ago due to eating chocolate. "You can keep that for 500 yens." Ken offered.
"We take ten." Miyako said as she took out some money. The scene changes to Hikari walking on the street, disapointed.
"We haven't sold one chocolate bar. I think we will never succeed in this." Hikari complainted as Miyako keeps looking at the pictures of fat Ken, ignoring what Hikari just said. "This time, let's focus on our next costumer." Hikari continued only to hear Miyako replying "Huh?" since she keeps looking at the picture. "Let's shake on it." Hikari reaches out her hands.
"Did you say something?" Miyako said, already finished looking at the pictures.
"Remember Miyako, focus." Hikari advised to her friend as she knocks the door, revealing a guy named Iori Hida.
"Hello?" Iori greeted.
"Goor afternoon sir. We're selling chocolate bars." Just then, Miyako pops out her eyeballs and look closer to Iori (she's not wearing classes in this parody so don't flame me!).
"Why is Miss Weirdo looking at me?" Iori asked.
"Focusing." Miyako said as she keeps focusing her eyeballs on Iori. As Iori enters his house, Miyako's eyeballs follows.
"Back off chump!" Iori slams the door onto Miyako's eyeballs. However, her eyeballs are stuck on the door. She then looked around Iori's house.
"Nice place you got here." Miyako praised as Iori completely ignored her praises.
"I can't understand what are we doing wrong." Hikari complainted.
"I can't understand anything." Miyako said as she eats a chocolate bar.
"I don;t know why they're buying stuff but not from ours. I mean look at that." Hikari then shows a signboard.
"Eat Digital Pebbles, they're the most delicious cereal." Miyako read the signboard.
"They're simply not delicious." Hikari said.
"Not the way I use them." Miyako said.
"They sell milions of them per day." Hikari said.
"Or maybe they didn't stretch the truth, that's why they got lots of sales." Miyako added.
"That's it Miyako! We have to stretch the truth!" Hikari exclaimed her idea before Junpei's scream "CHOCOLATE!" was heard. The two then runs away again.
The scene then changes to a house where Hikari pressed the doorbell. The door opens, revealing a old women named Babamon.
"Yes?" Babamon asked.
"Hello, young lady." Hikari then winked at Miyako. "We're selling chocolate bars, is your father home?" she asked.
"Dad!" Babamon called only to reveal a very old man named Jijimon.
"What? What's are that yelling?" Jijimon then came with a wheelchair, causing both Hikari and Miyako shocked to see a very old person still alive at this date. "You just can't wait for me to die can't you?" he asked to Babamon.
"They're selling chocolates!" Babamon said, but Jijimon could not hear it.
"What are they selling?"
"Chocolates."
"What?"
"Chocolates!"
"I can't hear you!"
"THEY'RE SELLING CHOCOLATES!"
"Chocolates?"
"YEAH!"
"Chocolates, I remebered my first taste of chocolate, sweet sweet chocolate. I always hated it!" Jijimon complainted.
"But this chocolate isn't for eating, it's for..." before Hikari could nervously finished, Miyako stood up and continued for her, "You rub it on your skin and makes you live forever."
"No no." while Babamon hoping for Jijimon to reject the offer, Jijimon aceept it, "Live forever you say? I'll take one." After that, Babamon gives the money to Hikari. "Come on you lazy Babamon. Start rubbing me with that chocolate!" Jijimon called.
"I hate you." Babamon said as she slams the door.
"If we keep untelling the truth, we'll be rich in no time." Hikari said.
"Horray for lying!" Miyako cheered.
"It will make your hair grow." Hikari said to a costumer named Daisuke Motomiya.
"Thanks. My wife's try to grow a beard." Daisuke said as he shows some money on his hands.
"It will make you sound smart." Hikari said to a costumer named Takuya Kanbara .
"I'll take twenty!" Takuya said as he shows some money on his hands as well.
"It make sure that your face can't get any uglier." Miyako said to a costumer which suprisingly looks like her.
"Just it time." The other Miyako said as she has money as well.
"It will make you fly!"
"You'll fall in love!"
"Signing world peace!"
"You'll walk though walls!"
"You'll rule the world!"
Now, our sneaky girls are covered in bandages, acting like they're injured.
"Hehe. This is going to be our best lie yet." Miyako said excitingly.
"Yeah. That costumer will feel sorry for us, he had to buy all of our chocolate." Hikari said as the door opens.
"What can I get for you girls?" the costumer asked, hiding on his house behind the door.
"Hello sir, would you like to buy some chocolate bars? We need an operation." Hikari tells to the costumer. He then reveals himself to have his body wrapped in bandages, an eyepatch on his left eye, an oxygen mask on his mouth, a wheel surporting his broken left leg and a pole surporting his body. "Really? It's a small world! What happened to you girls?" he asked.
"We had some head trauma and eternal bleeding." Hikari said.
"Everyone had luck. I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Everyday I break my legs, everyday I broke my arm. At night, I'll just wait for my heart attack to put me to sleep." As the costumer explains his tragic story, Hikari and Miyako started to cry. "Oh no please." As he continued, the pole snapped, causing his body to fell on the stairs. He then fell smoothly only to have his bones broken again. He fell again and breaks again before reaching the ground. "ouch." He groaned.
"Quick let's help him." Hikari and Miyako then picks up the injured man into his house. "Careful. Put him down gentlely." Miyako however, didn't put him down gentlely, causing the injured man to hurt his head. "Poor poor man. Is there anything anything that I can do for you?" Hikari asked.
"There is one thing as you can well imagine. My health is at critical state, but luckily I managed to surport my life by selling... chocolate bars." The injured man then shows a large boxes of chocolate bars. A scene change later, the injured man is looking at Hikari and Miyako who are carrying the boxes from his mirror. "Such nice girls. It make me fell to laugh the class A suckers like those two!" The injured man removed himself from his 'injured skin' which turns out to be fake. He then laughed at Hikari and Miyako's stupidity to get fools with his plans as he counts he money on his hands.
Outside:
"Don't get me wrong Miyako. It's great to help that guy out, but there's no one else to sell chocolate bars to." Hikari said before she fell on the ground due to the heavy box. As she fell down, the box felt on her body. "Let's face it Miyako, we're failures." She continued.
"I can live with that." Miyako said as she drops her box on top of Hikari's box before sitting on it."
"Let's change our name to 'why bother'." Hikari unhappily suggested before Junepi came from behind the boxes.
"CHOCOLATE!" Junpei screamed, blowing Hikari, Miyako and the boxes of chocolate bars away.
"No no please don't hurt us. We're too young to die." Both Hikari and Miyako begged to Junpei.
"HAHAHA! Finally! I've been trying to catch you girls all day! Now that I have you where I wanted to." He then calms down and continued, "I want to buy all of your chocolates." He then shows tons of money in his hands while Hikari and Miyako were jawdropped with Miyako farting chocolate bars. As a bonus, she drops a cotton as well. After that, the two girls melted.
"Thank you for your purchase." Hikari said to Junpei.
We can see Miyako pushing a cart of money that they have earned.
"Are we living the fancy live yet Hikari?" She asked.
"Not yet my dear friend. First we have to spend all of our money." Hikari answered as she pops out from the money.
"But what are we going to spend it own?" Miyako asked as Hikari is talking something.
Fancy Restaurant:
"Good evening sir. Table for one please." Taichi said to a waiter.
"Sorry. But the whore restaurant is reserved for a private party." The waiter said.
"But tonight is the only night to be fancy. Oh and who on earth that could buy out a whole restaurant?"
"A couple of rich saleswomens and their dates."
Inside, we can see Hikari and Miyako talking to Babamon and Jijimon.
"So, how long has you two meet each other?" Hikari asked.
"What? What did they say?" Jijimon asked since he didn't hear anything.
END
A/N: Another Spongebob parody finished. Actually I don't know if there's any character in Digimon that too old and VERY old. So I have no choice but to use Babamon and Jijimon from Digimon Tamers instead as the old lady and the deaf parent of the old lady.
I'm open for any ideas for a Spongebob Squarepants parody (please, no 'The Tattle Tale Strangler'). Right now I'm working of a parody of 'Sailor Mouth' so expect some censoring on my next work. Until then world, later!
Signing Off,
Nazirul