Hello! Um, this is my first Twilight Fanfiction, so have patience with me please. It's a Femslash, so if you don't like it, don't read it. I hope you like it even if it is short.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, it belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I'm just borrowing.

Enjoy.

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It never crossed my mind that maybe one day I would actually fall in love, or just love, someone that wasn't Jasper…It never crossed my mind that after nearly a century of being together, husband and wife, that he would let me go just so I can be happy…But what really never crossed my mind was the reality that I was falling, and falling hard for this human girl…She was just beautiful…Breathtaking. She was everything. She completed me in ways, which Jasper and I knew, he couldn't. She was what I really needed to be happy. She was my drug…I couldn't get enough of her. Every moment that she wasn't with him, I was. I was always there for her when he would just disappear in the night. She loved him. And I despised him. He never understood what she really needed. He didn't understand her. But what really got to me was that he really loved her. Even if he was selfish most of the time, he really did love her.

But she also loved me. More than him, she doesn't even know, but the feeling is there. She loved me. But I couldn't handle the pain of seeing them together everyday at school, I couldn't handle the pain of every touch, every kiss that they shared…I couldn't handle the pain of hearing his never ending speeches of love every time he got home for her. I couldn't stand being a secret, I couldn't take the pressure of hiding my thoughts from him…I couldn't stand the visions of the future…Never being able to be with her because of him…And even if I did despise him, I couldn't stand the guilt that I felt every time I came back from her, giving her what he wouldn't give her, and look at him smile by just thinking of her…I couldn't stand the pain of being used. My heart may had stopped the minute I became a vampire, but that doesn't mean I don't feel…I couldn't take it anymore…I was suffering and I was, unintentionally, ripping my family apart. I couldn't and can't take that anymore…

That's why I let her go…Well, that's what I thought I had done…The night of one of my regular visits, I told her…I told her I couldn't take the pain and that she had to decide. Him or me…And of course she choose him. To say that it hurt to hear her response is a complete understatement. I felt as if my life had no more meaning…That I didn't have the right to exist…That I should die. I couldn't go home for a while, scared that he would find out because of the minds weakness…But Jasper found me…He held me and told me everything was alright and that everything was going to work out. How much I wanted to believe him…But I couldn't. It was too hard to believe…It was one of those dreams that just never happens.

When I finally got home, I couldn't hate him. He was there waiting for me…He was my brother and I could never hate him. He held me and tried to make me feel better. He tried his best to understand what had happened. I told I had a fight with Bella and that was it. He laughed at that moment.

"Silly Alice, do you think she can actually hate you? I find that unbelievable." If only he knew.

At school, I didn't look at her; I didn't sit with her at lunch. I didn't even say "hi". It was as if she never existed. I was going to do my best to let her go, to forget everything we shared, everything she let go.

I was just leaving my last class for the day, when I saw her. She was with him, hand in hand walking to his silver Volvo. They exchanged a couple of words and than he left, making his way back into the school. She probably left something. I kept walking toward my yellow Porsche that was parked right next to his car. As I was about to open my door, she stopped me. Her warm hand grabbed my cold one. I didn't turn to face her, and when she understood that I wasn't going to move, she turned me to face her. My gold eyes meet her chocolate gaze. I was lost once again in her beauty. A beauty she didn't understand. Stubborn human. Only been holding her eyes for a few second, I let my gaze fall. I didn't want to give in again. I had to be strong. I had to. My forced my hand out of hers and I noticed that her eyes fell to the ground. I hated to see her like this, but I had too.

"Bel…"

"Alice, I'm sorry…I really am sorry, I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't know…" she sounded torn, and I noticed, when she looked at me, that she was crying…I made this angel cry. What have I done?

"Bella, we both need time to think about what we truly want. When you finally find out, I might be there…I all depends on what you choose." I turned away from her; he was making his way back. I got in my car and left the parking lot, and as I looked back, she was watching me leave once again…That's when I saw her lips move…

'I love you.' But I knew it was to good to be true, just when he got to her, they kissed, and I escaped my torment.

I made my way to the beach. It was the only place where I could be alone and where I could remember. Remember how this all began....

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I hope you liked the beginning. I will update soon since my life is boring and I have lots of time. Please R&R. And I would appreciate. Even you have any constructive criticism please write it down. Thank you once again for reading.