The blinding light of silence
Prologue
I made the list the day the hospital officially gave up on me. I honestly had expected this day to come but now it was there, things were different. When reality kicks in you feel as someone has ripped your heart right out of your chest and the weirdest thoughts creep through your mind. I would never marry, never have kids, never graduate, never even turn 19. My birthday was in summer, 6 months to go and even though it was so near I wouldn't be there anymore. The 4th of july would pass without anyone celebrating my anniversary. Maybe some people would remember me that day but were would I be? Was there something like heaven above? I didn't know for sure. It would have been rediculous to say that fear didn't struck me that day but things are different now. If you are 18 and supposed to die, life is the most precious gift you have and living everything that keeps you going until the very end. And I am not yet ready to leave this world behind until I have experienced each and every point on my list.
# Feel the weight of a boy's body on top of me
# get wasted on a Saturday night after at least 3 hours of clubbing
# wear a red mini dress to church
# climb on the highest tree in the woods and reach for the clouds
# visit my father's grave
# get a tattoo
# visit a place that is not Tree Hill
# go shopping with my mother's stolen credit card and buy everything I like
# fall in love
# creat something that will make people remember me
# drive a motorbike
# take drugs
# have one special day with my sisters which they will always remember
# paint my walls all pink
# meet Brooke Davis finally