Disclaimer: Not mine.
Notes: Still getting used to GB fic writing, so excuse any OOCness. This is another Juubei/Kazuki pairing story, though, no fluff this time. Also, I'm only about half way through the anime, so this is probably AU. I hope you enjoy it. :)
Leaving
It was silent in their bedroom. Night had fallen long ago, to cloak the world in an array of shadows. His lover, could he be called that, was sleeping peacefully at his side while he remained awake.
If Juubei knew, he would probably be awake as well, silent to let him think, yet there to support him if needed. He didn't want that right now, so he was careful not to move, or breath too loudly, in fear that he would wake him. He didn't want to confess his thoughts to Juubei, though he knew, if Juubei were ever to ask, he would tell everything, because he could deny him nothing. Everything he was, Juubei had, every piece and parcel of his soul belonged to his guardian.
It wasn't as if he resented it. It made him feel loved and yet owned at the same time, both feelings stirred joy and hatred in him at times.
Thus, he didn't want his lover awake. He wanted his thoughts to remain his own this time, because if they were to ever slip…
It would come out eventually. After all, a treason like this would not go unnoticed. Yet, he had no choice. The Emperor was gone, the VOLTS were fading into the blood stained tapestry of the Limitless Fortress. Not even his strength and control could hold it together as the Emperor had.
The dark times were coming again, he knew that better then anyone, could see it as a black wave coming to sweep them all away. It didn't trouble him too much; he could exist again in such an age. His whole life revolved around blood and death, his very past was made from it, so this would be no different. As long as Juubei was beside him, things would be all right.
Or so he had thought, until the incident had occurred. Juubei had been injured, because of him, because he hadn't been strong enough to protect his own protector. It had been him that they had wanted, and Juubei had intervened, despite his protests.
It wasn't this one incident alone that forced him to make such a dreadful decision. It had been the countless others before it that had swirled up while he had been tending to Juubei's wounds. Each account had been written in the scars that lined Juubei's body, almost all of them had been earned because of him.
That, on top of the realization that he was powerless to save even the fragments of peace, had made him realize, he needed to leave. To protect Juubei from himself, and to find the Emperor, he had to go out into the outer world.
Yes, he knew that he could take Juubei with him. Juubei would follow him to the ends of the earth, leaving everything and everyone behind, even the last remaining member of his family, his sister. Juubei was just that devoted, that loyal, he loved him enough to do anything.
That scared him the most. Juubei would throw his very life away just to protect him, and had almost done it so many times. He would do it either here in the Limitless Fortress, or out there, and Kazuki couldn't allow that. He loved him too much in return to let him do it.
So the best option, the only option, was to take the most dangerous threat out of Juubei's life, namely himself.
Perhaps…. Perhaps if Ginji were to return, perhaps things could go back to normal. And if Ginji didn't come back? He would just have to stay away, to avoid causing further problems for the innocent people of Lower Town, and to keep Juubei safe.
Yet, it wouldn't be so easy to leave… He had never been a good liar, and slipping away now would be near impossible. Even injured, Juubei kept his fighting skills, one of those being that he slept lightly, and woke at every noise and movement.
Somehow, though, he managed to slip from his lover's arms. Juubei shifted uneasily at the absence of him, but didn't wake, for once. That gave him enough courage to dress silently, and when finished, he stepped out of their room.
Soft brown eyes caught sight of him as he started to make his escape, and he froze, staring back. He hadn't expected her to be here, but then he remembered. Makubex often had nightmares, and she often slept outside his door, in case he needed her. He should have remembered that before, but then it was too late.
Her gaze swept over him. She knew, and understood, he could read that in her eyes, yet, he knew she did not approve. He was, after all, abandoning her little brother. But, she would not stop him, it was not her place.
It almost made him turn back, almost, but instead, he forced himself to move on, to ignore her gaze, to ignore the tearing in his own heart. It was for the best, he knew that, and he could not let himself break.
But, he had to say something before he disappeared forever, it was only right, "Sakura?" he called back, knowing she would hear.
"Yes, Kazuki?" she answered softly.
"Take care of him," he wouldn't ask her to say good-bye for him. That, too, was not her place.
She said nothing, but he knew she would. After all, that was her duty before Juubei ever became his guardian. She would protect him, and Kazuki could trust her.
He just wished he could trust himself, but he could not, and so he walked away.