Blame
It is all my fault.
You were my responsibility, and I lost you. You believed in me, and I let you down. You trusted me. You looked to me. You cared about me. I…failed you.
We were so close to being free. The nightmares were being taken away, yet, they took you with them. Almost. You were rescued, by someone who was not me. I should have taken better care of you. I should have been the one to save you. And now, because of my mistake, you are gone.
I will never see you again. You will never see me again. I will never again feel the warmth of your hand in mine. Never again will we embrace. Never again will we be the only ones laughing in the thick if danger. Now, the laughter has stopped. The joy has ended. The peace has vanished. All along with you.
I cared about you. You were my best friend. I loved you. Perhaps more than I should. Yet it was not enough to save you.
It is my entire fault. I deserve all of the blame. Go on, blame me. Tell them all to blame me. For it would only be a fraction of the punishment I am due to receive for the ultimate crime. The unmatchable carelessness. The crime, of letting you go.
If I were to see you again, I would ask you to hate me. Yet I know you better than that. You have a forgiving soul. Possibly too forgiving. Your goodness far outreaches my own. You were a humble shop girl, yet who would have known, that in the end, you would know more than me? You know of compassion. You know how to help people in a way that it much more beneficiary than my expertise.
I'm so glad to have met you. If I had never known you, I never would have known the compassion that you do. I never would have loved again. You gave me the confidence. You healed me…after the war. And now, I need you to heal me again. But you're not here.
And now you are gone. My companion. My best friend. My missing piece. My Rose.
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