No, I do not own Harry Potter. Lucky for Hermione...
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It was 3am on a Monday morning when Ron Weasley was awoken by an earsplitting yapping noise echoing around the bedroom. He searched the room frantically to locate where it was coming from, though he knew what was causing it. It took him a few dizzy seconds to find Skipper, his 19 week old terrier puppy at one corner of the room. He was standing on Ron's briefcase to elevate himself to the window, barking sharply at some noise he had probably heard outside.
"Skipper!" Ron whispered callously, afraid that the small animal's yelping would awaken his wife of 5 months. "Get over here!"
Skipper lowered his voice to a growl but stayed put, and Ron had to slide out of bed and retrieve him.
"Be quiet, Skip." He murmured as he tucked the dog on the crook of his arm and carried him back to bed.
"Do you want to wake Hermione up? Huh?" He continued as he lay back down and held Skipper above his face so that he could see him more clearly. Skipper ran a tongue over his black nose and wagged a stumpy tail.
"I didn't think so. Now if you want to keep sleeping in bed with us you'll have to shut your trap."
Ron yawned and placed the puppy back on the bed before turning his head to stare at Hermione. His Hermione. His beautiful, loving, flawless wife. She sighed in her slumber and shifted a tiny bit. Ron grinned.
He wondered why in the world she had chosen him over all the other guys she could have been with. There must have been someone more suited for her out there. Someone with, let's say, better manners. For instance, it had been at dinner earlier that night that Ron had let out one of the most earth-shattering belches that he had ever achieved. Harry and Ginny, who had been eating with them, both sniggered into their napkins while Hermione looked at him with distaste.
"Honestly Ronald! That's disgusting!" She hissed. "Do you have to do that at the dinner table?"
He could feel the tips of his ears turn their trademark scarlet as he shrugged and shoveled another forkful of potatoes into his mouth. It was when she said things like that that made him feel like an even bigger goof. Because Hermione was faultless no matter how you looked at her. Her rosy cheeks were accented by the shiny mop of curls that fell down onto her dainty shoulders. Her skin was unblemished. Her manners, like everything else, were impeccable. She knew everything there was to know about… well… everything.
And even if someone else might have been able to find some sort of defect in Hermione, she was perfect to Ron. He reached out and let his finger run down the side of her velvety soft face, a proud swell filling his chest as he thought about how he would get to sleep in the same bed as her every night for the rest of his life.
"I love you, Hermione." He whispered quietly.
He was answered by a loud trumpeting noise from underneath the sheets. Surprised, he withdrew his hand and gaped at her with wide eyes.
The sound had also frightened Skipper, who had started to fall asleep again beside Ron. The little dog jumped up in shock and leapt from the bed, sulking off to sleep in the corner.
Ron continued to stare at his so called "flawless" wife with disbelief. Had Hermione really just farted? And so loudly, almost as if she had been bottling it up for days.
Hermione frowned and turned her head to Ron. Without opening her eyes, she asked in a sleep- slurred voice, "Ron? Was that you?"
Ron bit his lip, desperately fighting laughter. He didn't have the heart to tell her who had really caused the thunderous blast.
"Y-yes." He managed in a strangled voice.
" That's foul." She informed him, almost incomprehensibly. "But I still love you."
She was back asleep within moments. Ron wiped tears of sustained laughter from the corners of his eyes and gazed at her affectionately, a broad grin still covered most of his face. Maybe sharing a bed with her for the rest of his life wouldn't be as easy as he had thought.
"Yeah." He finally mumbled, partially to himself. "I still love you too."
~Love is blind -- Marriage is an eye-opener
- Pauline Thomason
A/N: I know it might not seem like the most romantic thing ever. But hey, let's face it, marriage isn't all about flowers and butterflies and sunset walks on the beach, right? Despite the fact that I was laughing the whole time I was writing this :^)
And for those of you who guessed that this was inspired by "Good Will Hunting", you hit it on the nose. Not really sure how I got the idea because I haven't watched the movie or read fanfiction for that matter for a good while, it was the first thing that popped into my head when I woke up. So tonight I settled down, turned on "Sex and the City" and finished it while watching one episode (The one where Big's wife catches Kerry trying to escape after cheating with him, gasp)
So I hope you enjoyed it! NICE comments are appreciated! Thank You all!