Author's Note:
Well this didn't come out as quickly as I hoped...I had to rewrite some things so that they fit with the current season...as it is now July instead of April. My timing sucks...Ohs wells...I hope you all enjoy this one! It was a ton of fun to write and had me sniggering as the scenario rolled through my mind. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Wait...you're saying I don't own Naruto!
"Pein~ " Sakura called.
"No Sakura! Just no!" The orange-haired leader snapped. Said pinkette raised a slender pink eyebrow at his outburst. When his left eye began to twitch she decided to continue anyway.
"I'm bored…" she whined. Fear spread across his overly pierced face. That was never a good sign with the prisoner standing in front of him. How she got into his office he would never know, once again his seals and locks proved ineffective against her. She was truly a destructive force all wrapped up in a cute, pink kunoichi. "Pein~ …Pein!"
"The last time I let you outside I ended up with a broken arm, two broken ribs and a concussion." he stated calmly.
"Hey I healed you!" Sakura grumbled. "And I already said I was sorry," she added as an afterthought. He rolled his ringed eyes as she pleaded for forgiveness. As the rosette continued to whine and beg he looked at the towering stacks of paperwork sitting precariously on and around his desk. Maybe he could use a break…Then the image of a giant snowman falling rapidly towards him ended that thought. He gave the girl one last scathing look before turning his attention back to Hidan's mission report, hoping the masochistic moron wouldn't elaborate too much this time. His last report was quite gruesome.
Sakura sighed and stomped out once she realized Pein wasn't going to listen to her. As she stomped down the hall she began to wallow in self-pity at her situation. Life with the Akatsuki was actually very dull when she thought about it; most of the members were off on some mission, she hadn't been allowed outside since the snowman incident, so she missed spring entirely, and she really, really missed her home. Sakura sniffed to keep the tears from falling. She was being pathetic and she surely didn't want an Akatsuki member to stumble upon her like that. The pinkette couldn't fully express what she felt as she wasn't able to narrate her life, as Pein had banned it from her in retaliation to his injuries. Then an idea smacked her out of her wallowing like a giant snowman. Ino introduced the game to her, which should have been a giant red flag to not do it. Sardines. It was an inside game. Pein shouldn't care…too much.
The aforementioned man jerked his head up from Hidan's graphic descriptions. His Sakura-senses were tingling. 'Oh me…' Pein thought. He jumped up from his chair and bolted out of the room. He had to stop her and whatever hair-brained, zany plan she had this time. 'Why couldn't she be a normal prisoner?'
"Sakura!" he yelled, scouring the base for her. She screamed in surprised at his outburst, jumping once more as he stormed into the living room. "What in my name are you doing!"
"Nothing…"she whistled innocently.
'Sakura you are about as innocent as Itachi when he claimed he didn't eat all the dango…' Pein thought, while scowling at the pinkette.
"I plead the fifth," said man stated as he entered the room, passing the pair on his way to the hall.
'Dear me! Can he read minds?'
"Of course not. That would be absurd, Leader-sama."
"Itachi-kun!" The rosette called, causing the elder Uchiha to immediately stop and flash-step next to her. Pein glowered, wishing the Rinnegan would also allow him to set his enemies on fire.
"The sharingan can. Which is yet another reason my doujutsu is better than yours," Itachi smirked before giving Sakura his full attention. Much to Pein's despair she pulled Itachi down to whisper in his ear. "Well I do not see what the problem is. You could ask him, he told the pinkette softly with a kindness Pein had not thought possible for the usually emotionally retarded man. "You are very lucky Sakura would be displeased with me if I killed you for that statement." Itachi sneered.
Oblivious as ever Sakura piped up, "Pein~…" Pein sighed before nodding to give her permission to continue. "I'm bored! Soooo…I thought we could play…Sardines!" Sakura declared loudly, alerting everyone in the base of her dastardly plan. "It's an inside game, so it shouldn't end in any maiming or other sort of injury," she stated matter-of-factly.
"Explain," Pein ordered once all of the Akatsuki was in the room. Except for Konan. 'Where the hell is she?'
"Wind Country. You sent her on a scouting mission three weeks ago," came a deadpanned response from Itachi. Sakura, to Pein's delight, glared at Itachi for talking before she could even begin. However, that delight quickly turned into anger when the raven-haired man leaned down to whisper softly in her ear. He grimaced further when the rosette erupted into a fit of giggles.
"Anyway," she started after her giggles and blush died down, "It's like hide-n-go seek in reverse. One person hides and everyone goes to find them." Seemed harmless enough to the pierced leader. "However," never mind," Once you find the hider you have to stay with them in their hiding spot. Now for the basic rules," the Akatsuki sighed collectively; they forgot how much she could talk when she was getting her way. "No using chakra to find the person that takes all the fun out of the game. No using anything not basic human-like to find them," here she gave a pointed look to Kisame, Zetsu, and surprisingly Tobi. "And….I wanna hide first!" she cried. They all nodded, they really didn't care. "Okays! Close your eyes and count to thirty!" And with that she disappeared in a blur, startling the majority of them. Sometimes they forgot their resident pinkette was a ninja.
"1, 2, 3…" Tobi diligently covered his eye hole and began counting along with Deidara, Hidan, Kisame, and Zetsu…well white Zetsu. The rest of them rolled their eyes and shifted awkwardly as they waited for the counters to finish. "And… Thirty! Ready or not here we come!" Tobi shouted. And with that they disappeared. They were S-class criminals after all. Besides Pein saw the smug look Itachi gave him. There was no way he was going to let that weasel be alone with Sakura.
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….PaGeBrEaK…
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Pein couldn't find her and as a result he was panicking internally. If he hadn't just seen Itachi a few minutes prior, he would mentally just flip a table, saying 'Fuck this!' and use his chakra to find her. Currently he was walking down one of the many hallways in the base, the current one filled with the bedrooms, two bathrooms, and one medium sized broom closet. One by one he had gone through the rooms, not particularly caring about his subordinates' privacy. Kisame was down the hall and opened the closet door…and walked into it. Pein face palmed, that was where Itachi went as well. He opened the door and saw Sakura sitting happily on a very content Uchiha's lap and Kisame leaning against the wall beside the two.
"Found you," he whispered happily. Itachi in response wrapped his arms tightly and possessively around the pinkettes waist as she silently cheered for him. 'Now to get her off Itach—'
"Do not even think about it," came the calm response from the Uchiha. Pein glared at the man almost missing how Sakura mouthed a 'good job' very prettily and patted the spot next to her. Pein sighed. It would have to do. Ignoring how smug Itachi looked he sat down and the four of them sat together for a good ten minutes before Kakazu drifted in lazily. After a moment he explained he was counting his money across the hall in his room. Sakura giggled softly before standing, pulling both Pein and Itachi up as she went. It was getting too crowded to be sitting down. Zetsu came in shortly after, whited Zetsu cheering silently along with her. They all shifted to accommodate him, but had yet to experience why the game was called 'Sardines.'
The group talked quietly as they waited for the others to find them. Itachi's brow crinkled minutely when Sasori found them and again everyone shifted around.
"We're not all going to fit," he stated quietly when everyone settled. The closet was getting pretty cramped, the other men realized with a start; Itachi was right.
"I know," Sakura whispered proudly, "That's what makes the game so fun! When I played it before, we fit all of Rookie 9… well besides chicken butt and Naruto, and our senseis into a bathtub." She giggled quietly at the memory. It was awkwardly silent afterwards as all the guys tried to figure out where the others were going to fit.
However, their time was running out as Tobi opened the door and happily bounded in crushing Sakura against Itachi in the process. Once more everyone shifted around not noticing how Kisame's face began to twist with anxiety. Pein moved to the other side of Sakura, unwittingly standing next to the nervous shark-man.
"No homo," Itachi declared calmly in response to the rampaging thoughts running through most of his fellow members at how awkward the situation was. Sakura sniggered softly at the man before shifting closer to him. Pein went to grab her when the door swung violently open revealing the last two members of the infamous Akatsuki. There was a collective groan in the closet before everyone go to shifting around again. Pein was crushed into Kisame in the shuffle by Sakura.
Finally everyone stopped moving and was silent for a moment, until Kisame's loud breathing filled the closet. Pein winced already anticipating the inevitable pain when Kisame roared. Everyone quickly moved out of the closet, but that only allowed the rampaging fish-man to…well…rampage. Pein sighed resignedly as he was slammed into the nearest closet wall by the giant blue ninja. There was a sickening crunch, which roused the panicked man enough to snap out of it.
There was an awkward silence as everyone finished filing out of the closet only to turn back and stare at their unconscious, prone leader. Sakura looked sheepishly at the other Akatsuki members before she silently shut the closet door.
"So I'm feeling ramen for dinner…" she stated after a moment. Everyone murmured their agreement and followed the pinkette down to the kitchen, ignoring the groan of pain/ Pein coming from the closet.
Author's note:
Well….I really have nothing witty to say here…I really should get a life though.
Hana-Taisho: Yay! Another review from Lovely you! Sadly no…well maybe, but it wasn't were I got it…and yes, yes it has be faaaarrrr too long! Sadly this recent one isn't snow infested, but I'm glad you liked the other ones! I love snow in small does…like a day or two and that's it. I am very glad you are the first reviewer of this story!
Crazycherry459: Thanks! I am glad someone found my humor actually funny….lol
AddictedReader9: Thanks! Again I am glad someone finds me humorous…
Bloody Lily of a new world: I am glad you like the story! And it's from….*drumroll please* da internet series Code MENT.
Thanks for the reviews! Please give me your thoughts on this story….I need feedback and some ideas for other one-shots; I think the next one will be the Akatsuki and Sakura playing…Red Rover.
BYE BYE!