A Small Distraction
By Threshie
AN: Based upon my picture "...Near?" on DeviantArt. =) Near and Mello do not belong to me, nor does Death Note—they belong to the admirable and awesome Tsugumi Ohba-sensei and Takeshi Obata-sensei. Carry on!
Another day, another round of getting "great but still not as great as Near" grades in all of his classes. Mello stomped into his room and slammed the door, thinking that he would devour a few chocolate bars to make himself feel better. He headed over to his desk (the chocolate stash was in the bottom drawer), and dropped the homework he'd been handed back onto the top.
There was a tiny squeaking sound.
Blinking, the blonde boy sat up from the drawer he'd been rummaging in and glanced at the papers. ...?! Beside the papers, sitting atop his jewelry box, was...something unreal.
"...Near?" The name slipped out without any help from him; it was impossible, this thing was so tiny that it could have fit into one of his palms...but undeniably, it was Near. A tiny Near.
That little jerk! Mello thought angrily, snatching the thing off of the jewelry box; he'd just realized the only possible explanation—it had to be one of Near's toys he'd placed there to freak Mello out!
"M-Mello!" The tiny, tiny voice could only be Near's. Mello knew even before he felt the tiny thing wriggling in his hand that somehow, somehow it was actually him. Raising his hand up to his face, the blonde boy uncurled his fingers slowly, peering over the tops of them.
Large, round eyes stared back. Near looked younger...chubbier...rounder. It was hard to describe; it was obviously him, but he looked like a doll or maybe a baby version of himself. Fluffy white hair curled into the air in all directions, and he was clad in a tiny, perfect set of white pajamas.
"This's got to be a whacked out nightmare," Mello mumbled, unable to stop staring at the little thing he held. Near—if it was really Near—was so light that Mello only barely felt the weight of him pressing down onto his palm. He and Mello regarded each other for another long moment, before the little thing finally spoke again.
"You almost flattened me."
"Huh?" Mello answered intelligently; the tiny, high-pitched voice was a tad distracting, as was watching the little thing's mouth move when it spoke. He, he reminded himself dubiously, It's Near...kind of.
"With your papers," Near said more softly, bringing a tiny chubby hand up to curl at a piece of the white fluff on his head. He looked down at Mello's palm, pressing the palm of his other hand against it; it didn't even cover a half inch's worth of skin...
"H-how did you get like this?" Mello demanded, shaking his head to clear it. Never mind gawking at how tiny and...well, 'cute' was a word he had never dreamed of applying to Near, but this little version of him was awfully cute. That was part of why it didn't really seem like Near to him. And then there's the fact that he's what, three inches tall? That has something to do with him not seeming like himself!
"I'm not sure," the little creature in his hand confessed, peeking cautiously over the edge of Mello's hand. Seeing the distance to the carpet, he hurriedly ducked back to the center. I didn't know he was scared of heights, Mello thought, blinking.
"How'd you get onto my desk? Why are you in my room?" The blonde boy demanded, holding the hand with Near on it up to eye-level. From there he could see that Near's little pajamas even had a tiny breast pocket on the right side.
"I don't know," the chibi repeated, staring up at him with wide eyes. He seemed anxious... Maybe even scared. Hah! Who'd ever believe the great, amazing Near would end up scared of Mello, huh? Mello smirked suddenly; come to think of it, this opportunity probably wouldn't present itself again... It's not like I can get in trouble for anything—who'd believe him if he said he was three inches tall at the time?
Still smirking, he plucked the chibi from his palm by the back of his little pajama shirt and held him dangling up above his head. L did the same thing when examining evidence sometimes...only the evidence usually didn't wriggle around or squeak in surprise.
"M-Mello, please put me down," Near said faintly; his voice was already tiny, but now it seemed he was afraid to even speak loudly. Probably afraid he might startle me and make me, oh I don't know...drop him, maybe?
"You want me to?" Mello glanced down at the floor, raising an eyebrow, "Looks like a long drop for somebody as puny as you."
"No—d-don't drop me...please..." Near had curled up into a tiny white ball, covering his face with both hands. Mello was a bit disappointed. Jeez, I wouldn't be such a wimp if I was tiny!
Rolling his eyes, the blonde boy turned and stuck Near's little pajama shirt over one of the thumb tacks that held the calendar above his desk; the chibi ended up hanging several feet above the paperwork he'd just been swearing Mello almost squished him with.
"There—I didn't drop you," Mello commented with a little snicker, crossing his arms. "Better get used to heights, though, 'cause you're gonna be there awhile!" I'm doing the little brat a favor—aversion therapy! Okay, so maybe it was revenge for acing that last quiz Mello had stayed up studying for three nights in a row...maybe, just a little bit.
Near peeked over the tops of his hands, looking down at the desk. He was quiet for a long moment...Mello pretended to go about taking off his rosary and bracelet and putting them in the jewelry box, all the while watching him out of the corner of his eye. If you want down, you'll just have to ask me nicely! Hah, finally you'll have to rely on me to do something that you can't do!
Near didn't say a word, though.
Instead, the little thing reached his stubby arms up behind his head, wriggled around, and quite abruptly fell toward the desk!
Mello lunged forward, sticking his arms out just in time to catch the little idiot in his cupped hands.
"What're you trying to do, kill yourself?!" He demanded, glaring down at the white fluff in his palms. He could feel the little thing shaking; why deliberately drop himself down so far? It's not like being scared of heights is bad enough to commit suicide—sheesh!
"Y-you'd probably enjoy that..." Near's voice sounded strained, maybe a little watery. Mello blinked, holding him up a little closer. Was he...crying?
"If I wanted to kill you I would've dropped you out the window or stepped on you," the blonde pointed out, but less harshly now. Somehow, even though this was Near and he did hate Near, picking on him when he was this little and...god, okay, he admitted it, Near was cute this way! Picking on him when he was this tiny and cute, it didn't make Mello feel any better about their rivalry. In fact, it kind of just made him feel like a jerk, himself.
A tiny hiccup came from Near, who had both chubby fists pressed ovver his mouth and was curled into a little ball again. A bit awkwardly, Mello patted his head with his fingertip. His hair was so soft, like rabbit's fur...
"Near, I don't want you to die," he said uneasily, stroking the chibi's back too now. Come on, stop crying...you're like a little kid this way... "Look, I'm sorry, okay? Will you please stop crying?"
"Sorry," Near hiccuped again, shaking his little head. Sitting up, he rubbed at his eyes, swiping the tears away. "I-I just wanted down...why did you put me up there?"
"Uh..." Mello sweatdropped, wondering what to say. "I did it to get revenge" didn't sound like it would go over too well... "Never mind that! We've got to take care of you," he said, hurriedly changing the subject. "You don't want to stay tiny forever, right? So we've got to find out how you got this way."
"I...think it was the chocolate," Near confessed, reaching out and placing a tiny hand on Mello's thumb to steady himself. He looked up at the blonde a bit guiltily—which somehow looked cute, too—and explained shyly, "I ate one of your chocolate bars, Mello."
"What?!" The outburst wasn't something Mello could help; nobody ate his chocolate but him! He felt a bit guilty for the way Near flinched when he started yelling, though.
"I-I'm sorry! I knew that you would never share if I asked you, and I wondered what it tasted like..." The chibi was sniffling again, bowing his head. "Please don't hurt me...I p-promise I will replace it for you..."
Taking a deep breath, Mello reminded himself that he could probably kill Near just by tossing him onto the floor right now—getting angry and doing something rash wasn't something he could afford to do. Let's just get him back to normal, if that's even possible, so I won't be handicapped in a fight anymore! Near's never this easy to freak out usually...he must be really scared. He looked down at the chibi, who seemed afraid to see what his expression was, and sighed.
"...It's okay. Never mind," he muttered, trying his best to sound as calm as he could. His chocolate was a special brand, imported...very expensive! But never mind that, there were bigger problems to deal with right now.
Like figuring out how chocolate he ate every day could make somebody else shrink to three inches tall, for instance.
"Let's see," Mello mused aloud, sitting down at the desk. He placed Near gently onto the tabletop, where the little thing promptly sat down, curling one little leg beneath him and hugging the other to his chest. It was the exact same posture he did when he was normal-sized, but somehow when a tiny, chubby, cute Near did it, it was a lot less irritating than usual. "Okay, so you only ate the chocolate, right? Nothing else?"
"Yes," Near murmured, twirling a piece of his hair again. Remembering his soft it was before, Mello sweatdropped. I wonder if it's that soft when he's normal-sized...whoa, keep the thoughts on-track! Think—how could chocolate do this to him?
"All right...maybe...you have some weird condition that makes you shrink when you eat sweets." It sounded pretty stupid even as he said it, but seriously, what explanation for somebody turning into a chibi wouldn't sound stupid? It was supposed to be impossible to shrink to this size in the first place!
Near didn't seem to dismiss the idea, though. In fact, he looked thoughtful.
"It's true that I never usually eat sweets," he said, looking up at Mello with wide, black eyes again. "Perhaps if I ate the opposite, then, I would return to normal?"
"The opposite of sweet is sour," Mello pointed out, sweatdropping. "What are we gonna do, have you eat a lemon?"
Near shook his head.
"No...however small the amount, citrus is a fruit, and fruits contain sugar. Perhaps...sour isn't the opposite of sweet."
"...I've got it!" Mello snapped his fingers, "Salt! It's granulated like sugar, but the flavor's pretty much the exact opposite, right?" Near bobbed his head, fluffy hair wafting a little with the motion.
"All right...please bring me somewhere where there is salt so that we can test this theory."
"Right." Mello reached to pluck the chibi by the back of his shirt again, then reconsidered; he lowered his hand onto the desktop, palm-up. "Hop on."
Standing, Near climbed onto his palm and settled down there, wrapping both tiny arms around Mello's thumb to keep from falling over once they started to move. Mello stood very slowly, being careful not to jostle the tiny person in his hand. Okay...salt...the lunch room should have salt...
He headed out of his room and down the hallway, walking painstakingly slow this time so as not to scare Near. It wouldn't do to make him cry again...making chibis cry had to be as bad as making little kids cry, something Mello also had a bad tendency to do. Eheh...but I'm not gonna pick on him anymore. I just want him back to normal—then I won't have to feel bad if I want to kick him out the window for eating my chocolate!
Near looked up at him so trustingly, round, dark eyes watching his face instead of observing how far away the floor was at the moment. His white hair wafted around his face with each step; any sudden movement Mello made must have seemed like a large gust of wind to him. Mello wasn't sure he could stand this much longer, this being trusted by Near and being able to hurt or kill him so easily. I need to find salt right now!
He stepped into the dining hall, a big room with tables set up kind of like a cafeteria. Who am I kidding? It is a cafeteria, just with a different name. Dinner had passed several hours ago, so hopefully no one was around to see Near in his tiny state...
"Mell!" Mello froze in his tracks. Crap! Matt, what are you doing here? In a bit of a panic, he shoved Near into one of his pants pockets, keeping his hand in the pocket and around the chibi so as not to squish him, and turned around to face his friend.
"Hi, Matt," he said as nonchalantly as he could. "What're you doing here?"
"Just grabbing some snacks," the redhead grinned, holding up a bag of potato chips and a small jar of nacho cheese flavored dip. "You hungry too? Is that why you're here?"
"Uh...yeah," Mello said hesitantly. I don't want to explain about Near and how he's tiny—I'm in a hurry! Matt blinked at the hesitation, then shrugged and headed for the door.
"'Kay, well...see you later, Mell."
Mello watched him leave, frowning. On one hand, he was in a hurry...but there was really no reason to be. Near wouldn't disappear if they didn't get the salt right away or anything like that...and if he didn't show Matt now, Matt would never believe the story later.
"Hey, Matt?" The redhead turned, blinking behind his yellow goggles.
"Hm?"
Mello smirked; watching his reaction was going to be amusing. He waved an index finger, beckoning his friend back over.
"C'mere a sec, I have something to show you." Matt came over, eyes immediately going to the hand that had been hidden in Mello's pocket during the entire conversation.
"What, you sneak something illegal in here?" He asked curiously—not disapprovingly at all, pure curiosity. That was part of why Mello was friends with Matt; he was so laid-back.
Slowly, Mello drew the chibi out of his pocket, holding him up for Matt to see.
The redhead's eyes widened; after a second, he sat his snacks down and actually pulled the goggles up onto his forehead to get a better look.
"...Near?" He asked, staring. The chibi stared back, shivering a little.
"Mello," he whispered, "Th-the floor is very far away...from here..."
Sweatdropping, Mello placed his other hand beneath Near, cupping the first hand around him to make a little wall; hopefully he would feel a bit safer that way.
"Sorry," he said, glancing at Matt.
"How...I mean...uh...." Matt seemed at a loss for words. After a moment to gather his wits, he asked, "I-is he for real?"
Mello looked down at Near, who turned round black eyes to look back at him.
"Yeah, it's really him."
"We are trying to turn me back to normal size," Near explained in his tiny little voice, looking up at Matt almost shyly—as if he were embarrassed to be so tiny.
Matt smiled at the sound of Near's voice; Mello knew that he wasn't the only one who thought the chibi was cute.
"Want to hold him?" He asked, smirking a little at Near. The chibi opened his mouth to protest, but Matt had already raised his hands, and before Near could say a word, he was resting on the redhead's palm.
"I know you're probably not thinking about stuff like this," Matt murmured, holding the chibi close to his chest and petting his hair with his fingertips, "But you're pretty cute when you're this little. Kind of like a kitten or something."
"I am...still human...you know..." Near whispered, eyes drifting closed almost against his will; he'd seemed all right when Mello was holding him, but for some reason with Matt stroking his hair he was drifting off to sleep. Mello watched this in bemusement, wondering if Matt thought Near was cute when he was regular sized, too.
"Matt!" He interrupted the redhead's dreamy-eyed look, glaring at him a little. Mello crossed his arms, tapping one foot. "We're here to get him some salt to eat. It's a long story, but Near and I came up with the theory that sweets turned him tiny, so salt might change him back."
"R-right, sorry! He's just so cute..." Matt got that "aww" look on his face again for a moment when he glanced down at the chibi, but snapped himself out of it this time, looking back at Mello with a sweatdrop. "Uh, anyway, salt sounds like a good idea. My chips are salty—think that'd work?"
Hey, he's right...
"Good idea." Mello stooped and snatched the bag of chips off of the floor, popping it open. "Here, wake him up and we'll try it out." He fished around for a chip small enough for a tiny chibi like Near to eat, while Matt poked Near with a fingertip.
"Hey...hey, Near, you've gotta wake up now! Near?" The chibi gave a tiny sigh, sitting up and rubbing his eyes sleepily.
"Yes...?"
"Here," Mello said, holding up the smallest chip he could find; it was about the size of a quarter. "Try eating this, it's really salty."
The chibi looked up at him with those round, dark eyes one more time, and then reached out and took hold of the chip with both hands. Delicately, he brought it to his mouth and nibbled on the edge. Mello watched intently, watched for any change in size or shape. He almost jumped when Near frowned, but quickly realized that it was a change in facial expression, not a change in the shape of his face.
"Well?" Matt asked, cocking his head and looking down at Near. "Not salty enough, or...?"
"It is very salty," Near grumbled, swiping across his mouth with a tiny shirt sleeve; he sounded kind of disgusted by this fact. "In fact, it's probably too s--!"
The sentence was cut off as, abruptly, the white-haired boy snapped back to his original size and shape. Mello did jump this time—he jumped forward in time to catch Near, who had been sitting on Matt's hand and would have landed right on his tailbone on the floor. The white-haired boy ended up cradled in his arms, Matt's hand now resting against his lower back.
Mello stared at Near. Near stared back...with big, round, dark eyes.
"Whoa," Matt said.
--The End
AN: Yes, it ends abruptly. XD; This oneshot was inspired by a picture of Mello finding a tiny dot-eyed chibi Near sitting on his jewelry box. To see that picture, go to my DeviantArt account (linked in my profile) and check out the pic entitled "...Near?". :) Hope you enjoyed the fic, and I do apologize for OOCness—my perspective on chibis is that they become more childish and emotional while chibified, so Near was doing things he might not have done while non-chibi. ^^