A/N: I felt compelled out of boredom, sheer enjoyment and the fact I haven't written anything in a while to do this 'fic'. So, I thought I could get back into my little hobby I have such admiration for.

So here goes:

It's Positive

Beckett's POV:

It was Saturday morning and I found myself counting things.

First hours, then it trickled to days. Weeks… Had it been a month?

It should have started two or three days ago right? It was late. I was late. My thoughts started slowly, coming to me in short slow waves but quickly became a storm in my head, swishing and whirling violently to the point where I could sit still. Words rattled across my forehead, backhanding across until I came to the conclusion:

I'm late.

I'm late. I'm late. I'm late. They repeated, each time becoming a bit more tangible. That scared me almost as much as the idea of it.

The two words swirled in my head, I couldn't shake them. It's probably nothing. I sighed and tried to get ahold of myself. Denial was not the thumb-sucking coping mechanism I needed to get through this predicament. Neither was tapping my fingers, though I'd already tried that.

No- not late in the sense that I needed to be somewhere important… but it was important. Like life changing.

I counted again, hoping my math was wrong. "2, 3, 4," I ran to the bathroom. I grasped the little circular contain of pills, sitting happily in their little nests counting the layers and pods… Had we… …had I? Questions came in fractions. Had I remembered to take it that morning? I found myself reaching, itching for the phone. Who would I call? Castle? No he was out of town- a book tour in L.A. He'd be back in two days. Besides he wasn't a doctor, and I wasn't sure. But I definitely had my suspicions.

Lanie.

Her number was on speed-dial right in between Castle and my favorite take-out Chinese place. The number was in and the phone ringing before I could catch my breath.

"Lanie Parish. M.E."

"Lanie, I-" I couldn't seem to get the words out. My lungs were empty in shock. My voice cracked like stone giving way. I cleared my throat but didn't continue. I couldn't seem to form words, my brain and my spine, and my mouth didn't seem to know to function.

"Kate, are you ok?"

Suddenly it all burst out. "Lanie, you went to medical school right so-"

"I hope so... otherwise what I've been doing for the past ten years is probably really illegal." I could hear her turning on her coffee machine in the background. I imagined her leaning her cell on her shoulder and pulling coffee cups from cabinets. I let out my breath. This is Lanie. Your talking to Lanie, calm yourself down. It'll be ok. People have babies all the time. Not me… the little voice in my head chimed. I'm an adult. I'm a woman, Castle's a man… he already has a kid. He loves kids. He's a great dad. I might love being a mom. I reassured myself with these little nuggets and then I silenced the small tinny voice. Pulling on my assertive 'Detective mask' I returned to Lanie:

"Lanie that's not what I meant… I need your medical expertise."

"Yes of course I did. Honey- are you alright?" Her voice was just sugar sweet enough.

"What are the usual symptoms of pregnancy?" Our conversation flat lined for a moment.

"Well it's been awhile since I've worked with the living, but I don't think they've changed (Laugh, she took a breath. Her doctor voice chimed in): missed period usually, morning sickness after four weeks but that can happen earlier… wait a second-"

Mr. Coffee beeped on her end. I braced myself for her to conclude what I'd been hinting at. I scrunched my eyes to prepare for impact. It only took a moment. "OH MY GOD, ARE YOU PREGNANT!"

"No, I mean don't know if I am… I missed my period… and I feel really weird like when I-"

"IM GONNA BE AN AUNTY!"

"Lanie, I called you because I wanted to ask you-" I cut in. If I think Lanie's overreacting, I contemplated, if I really am pregnant… how am I going to tell Castle? What's he going to say? I pictured his face lighting up. Childish jumping up and down; him running around in his underwear squealing: "I still got it!" I rolled my eyes. This is the man I chose to procreate with? Let's hope the kid takes after me. On second thought: I hope he or she takes after him. I love him more than anything. Especially when he acts like a loon; but heck he's all mine.

"HEY ESPO I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU!" She screamed, her voice echoed across her apartment on the other end. A male voice was muttering in the background.

"NO- LANIE PARISH DO NOT TELL HIM… wait a second, why is Espo with you? I thought you two lovebirds broke it off." Beside the phone I could hear her whispering something to a familiar male voice. 'False alarm baby, shoo...' There was pause. 'Tell you later baby…' I felt compelled to punch her through the phone, but it was expected. She'd tell him even if I told her not to. Her voice echoed in a sputter of words. "Um… well… we kind of… it's a long story. Wine and Italian food; he has such nice eyes... and I love the way he-" She was fluttering about on the other side of the phone. I sensed she was blushing.

"You don't have to explain," I rolled my eyes. I gave her a short history of events. The assumed 'food poisoning' last week. Other odd things I'd noticed. "Anyway in your doctor's opinion what do you think?-"

"Did you two, ya' know... around that time…?"

"Well…" I thought back. That would be: June 6th… My mind filled with flashes of Castle wearing an expensive suit, and taking me out for a night on the town for his newest book being done. Laughing, kisses in the dark, a glass of wine, champagne… That same suit on the floor, the image shifted: a dress and heels on the stairs. I felt a tingle, thinking about it. I'm a detective, and an expert at looking at evidence, and in my expect opinion… there was definite evidence here that ya' know- baby making occurred. A second tingle enveloped me. I wasn't sure if it was just the memory, or the fact that this situation just got real. I might actually be pregnant. Castle and I might be parents. Me; as a mother? I pictured diapers, baby hands hanging onto thumbs, tiny ears. Baby blankets, tiny smiles, and soft laughter. Little feet forming small steps; my lungs did that annoying 'can't breathe' thing again. I sucked in a breath, but it nothing happened. I was speechless; the image of a baby's mouth curling smile tugged on my brain and wouldn't leave. It just kind of dangled there.

Lanie broke the slideshow in my head.

"As a doctor- I'd say go get a pregnancy test sweetie. It wouldn't hurt. And, if it's positive, talk to a doctor who doesn't sew y's on people's chests… And Becks?"

"Yeah?"

"As a friend and possible future Auntie Lanie, I say: congratulations."

I smiled and thanked her; clicked the phone. Her suggestion just confirmed a decision I had contemplated an hour earlier. I grabbed my coat and headed to closest drug store.

The drugstore was quiet, linoleum and possibilities. It was 11:00 on a Saturday, so the quiet was sort of expected. Noise rang out as I walked in; the little bell above the door shook. I plucked up a black plastic grocery basket from the stack. The cashier nodded at me, an older man with a head of fuzzy gray hair. I nodded back: 'good morning'. I eyed the tiny signs above each aisle until I found what I was looking for. I turned the corner so quick I surprised myself. I explored the aisle until my destination stared back at me. Pregnancy tests. Lots of them. Blue, pink, and white ones. A spectrum of pastel colors and subtle texts. A purple on the left caught my eye. I grabbed it, read the back and tossed it into the basket.

Maybe I'll just get a few others just to be safe. I heard the door open, 'ring'. A pair of heels walked in. They clicked along the corner of my hearing. I ignored them and grabbed a few more rectangular boxes and tossed them in. My eyes flicked down to the basket. Four boxes stared back. They screamed: 'woman in crises'.

I imagined the fuzzy haired man's eyes when I plopped them on the counter. I'll just have to get a few items to make things a bit less awkward with the cashier. I snatched up a carton of sherbet, a water bottle as I roamed the aisles… I might as well get something I need; thinking of the empty shampoo bottle in my shower. I needed some; I headed to the right section. Scrolling the bottles, I discovered some 'Cherry scented' stuff in a pink bottle. It looked nice. It went in with the rest of pregnancy test shields on top.

Turning to purchase my loot I stopped short knocking into a woman who had appeared from nowhere in front me. My basket dropped spreading boxes, a carton, and two bottles across the white-green linoleum. The woman and I scrambled to pick up the stuff; I'd knocked a box from her hands. I leaned down to help her, glancing at the box. Hair dye. 'Ginger Snap' shade.

It showed a smiling woman with a shock of red hair. The shade of hair looked familiar, reminded me of someone I knew, in fact… I looked up at the woman as I handed her the box, feeling intrusive for snooping. I pulled a chuck of chocolate curls from my face. Boxes were chucked into my grocery basket. Our eyes met. She pulled the box I'd held back quickly, but smiled. Her eye's had little smile wrinkles; just like Castle's.

Martha Rogers.

"Detective Beckett," Her sing-song voice was dramatic as usual. "So funny to see you here…"

"Yeah." I smiled back. I'd always liked Castle's mother.

"Actually, I was going to call you. I was thinking of throwing a little family bash for Rick when he gets back on Monday. And seeing as your basically family at this point-"

You have no idea.

"I'd love to Martha. Want me to bring something?"

"No, just you and your beautiful self," She gave me a look that reminded me so much of my Writer Boy I was stunned. "Rick misses you to death… what has it been two, three weeks?"

"16 days. I miss him too." It just sort of came out. I didn't even feel them leave my lips but I know they did.

"Well, I guess I'll be seeing you then…" Martha leaned in and hugged me. I felt myself get this warm feeling. A mother's hug. She pulled away, but stopped and kneeled to pick up a stray box we'd neglected. The last, and lonely pregnancy test. She scooped it up. Her eyes widened. She smiled, and handed it to me. The box stayed there nestled in my hand for a moment. Neither of us spoke. I'd been caught. Found out.

"Is this what I think it is…? Oh Kate." Was she crying? Happy tears.

Martha hugged me tighter than she had only a moment before. Though he was a seasoned actress I knew this was no act. She placed her hands on the side of my face. I had anticipated awkwardness but the feeling didn't come. I saw a bit of Castle in her face again…

"Call me when you know."

"I will." I answered. She pulled back and took in a breath.

"Know this… My son loves you like, like I've never seen him love anyone or anything… when your around he just turns into a whole different person. You make him happy."

"Thank you."

"I'll see you on Monday." Castle's mother turned to go.

"Hey Martha… could you not tell Rick before Monday. I want to see his face when he gets the news."

"Of course," She nodded. For the first time I noticed she was wearing a large sunhat over her hair. The strands I could see weren't their usual firey shade. They were dimmed, and mixed with gray. I suspected they needed some TLC. That's why she had the hair dye, I remembered. So that's how those locks stayed ruby red to match Alexis'.

She noticed me looking at her hair; Martha pulled off the hat to show me.

"You keep my secret," She shook the box of hair dye back and forth. "-and I'll keep yours." She pointed to my stomach. I nodded, a smirk spreading across my mug.

That afternoon when I took the test, and the text appeared on the little plastic screen: 'Yes'.

A/n: So exited for this story. Don't know why.