I never own sailor moon
Why Haruka and Michiru never say 'I love you' to one another.
The wind senshi brought her left hand up to knock the door. Usually, she would've just pushed the door open and barging in but the situation this time was different.
"Come in, Haruka." The familiar voice inside replied. After gaining the permission, Haruka entered and then closed the door behind her.
Her sight fell on the lovely figure standing in front of a huge mirror. Tonight, the aqua haired senshi was wearing a stunning white dress. Haruka raised an eyebrow when she noticed the back zipper was still open.
"I've been waiting for you..." The senshi of sea glanced at Haruka through the mirror. She turned her head sideways and pulled her wavy aqua hairs up, giving access for Haruka to zip her back dress, "zip me," she said.
Haruka grinned, she stepped closer toward the other woman.
"This is starting to become a habit, you know." Haruka said. She took hold the tiny white zipper and pulled it up slowly. Haruka didn't want the beautiful dress got ruined and she also wanted to stay a little longer like this. Close.
"You don't bring a bouquet for me?" She wondered.
"I'm just checking on you... are you okay? Done, turn around, Michi." Haruka inquired which Michiru then did what she was told.
The dress was magnificent and Haruka loved how the gown had managed to hug every curve on Michiru's body perfectly. The wind senshi couldn't help it that the white dress had reminded her with a wedding dress.
"You're beautiful." Haruka said it with pure amazement. Michiru chuckled looking at Haruka's expression on her. It was astonishment, proud, and love.
Time like this only made Michiru's heart swell with happiness.
"Thank you, and I'm okay." The senshi of sea didn't need to tiptoe her feet to kiss Haruka's cheek as she was wearing high heels for tonight's performance.
Haruka tried to not blush but always failed miserably every time.
After that, both women were looking into each other's eyes for a while. As if they needed that interaction to express their rest of conversation.
"I'll see you on the stage." Haruka said without breaking her gaze on Michiru.
"I know."
Haruka turned her back and heading to the door but she felt like she couldn't just walk out like this.
Michiru noticed how Haruka was hovering before the door. So she stayed on her spot, waiting.
"Michi- I..." Haruka spoke while still facing the door.
"I - I lo - " I love you. That was what Haruka had wanted to say but the senshi of sea cut her speech.
"I know." It was like she gave a statement which has an absolute fact inside it.
"Me too, Haruka. Me too." She continued with much gentler voice.
Haruka's jaw tightened as she threw her gaze on Michiru once again before she completely left the room.
Haruka recalled how Michiru would never let her talk about love. The wind senshi believed all this time that their mutual feelings had surpassed beyond any relationship other people would have had. The blond had been through the events and built their relationship with Michiru's pace. The aqua haired woman had been wonderful, only she wouldn't let Haruka to confess her feelings. Every time the moment came up, either Michiru would change the topic or simply sealed Haruka's lips with chaste kisses, sometimes deeper kisses that made the wind senshi forgot about their current topic.
It was frustrating because Haruka wanted to say it so bad. Although she didn't expect that by stating the obvious would've changed anything between her and Michiru, Haruka still merely wanted to tell Michiru that.
That she loves her.
And sometimes even though the words weren't suffice to contain her feelings, Haruka still wanted to say it.
Because Michiru deserved it.
They both needed to talk.
After the end of Michiru's performance which was like usual always earned huge standing applauses from the audience, Haruka made her way to the back stage.
Michiru didn't surprise to find Haruka had been waiting for her. She set down her instrument into a box, flashing her smile to Haruka.
Haruka knew it was the type of smile that was directed only for her. Michiru really loved to do things that make the wind senshi feels special.
"I see you still don't bring a bouquet for me." Michiru led the way back to dressing room. She knew somehow that Haruka had wanted to talk about something. She didn't need her mirror to figure out ways into Haruka's mind.
Haruka shrugged, she walked equaling her paces with Michiru's. "I don't have time after what happened today."
Michiru's form tensed suddenly and this didn't go unnoticed by Haruka.
"I entered your studio today... it's a mess at there. Then I remembered that you kicked in your sleep last night. You would kick if you have a nightmare. So, Michi..." Haruka's words were sounded like a plea. Sure, she understood Michiru's behavior and had several guesses about the factors that had been bothering her mind. But Haruka still needed explanation from Michiru herself.
"I'm worried about tonight's concert." Michiru came up with an answer quickly. Too quick that it sounded too stupid for a lie.
"You are fooling no one, Michi. You know you can always tell me because I won't go anywhere." Haruka said. Haruka lifted up Michiru's chin so the aqua haired senshi could see her in the eyes. "You will always have me."
Michiru's eyes darted around, avoiding Haruka's with no result. Her orbs were always go back to stare into Haruka's eyes. Michiru realized she was fighting a losing battle and somehow she had to speak with Haruka.
"Okay," Michiru managed a word. "I will answer your questions one at a time."
"...What has been bothering you?"
"I – I can't answer that... it's complicated." Michiru shook her head.
Haruka was about to blurt out emotional wave if she didn't notice how Michiru was barely holding herself together.
"Okay, let me change the question. Why don't you let me say it?"
Michiru looked up, she aware where this conversation was going right now.
"Haruka – "
"Michi, you know that I love – "
"DAMN IT HARUKA!" Michiru screamed and cursed. That was the first time Haruka witnessed the senshi of sea went hysterical and cursed-screaming loudly. What the blond couldn't stand was how the tears had made trails on Michiru's cheek, ruining her make up. Michiru was crying... because of her.
"Michi, I'm sorry..."
"No, Haruka... don't-you-dare... don't you dare to say sorry because what about you say to me... don't..." The last word came out as weak sob. Michiru broke down, fell on her knees, dragging down Haruka to the floor with her.
"You will never let me saying that, will you?" Haruka's tone was lighter, the tone she always used when she was joking around although she crouched in front of Michiru appeared more pathetic than the crying woman.
"... I'm scared..." Michiru whispered. Haruka waited until Michiru's sobbing subsided.
"I'm scared that... the moment you say those words to me, I will ruin everything..." The only thing that held her together was Haruka's hands on hers. "I'm so afraid that by only hearing those words from you, I will abandon everything... earth, crystal Tokyo, serenity, I will throw everything out and be together with you! Uncaring what will happen to this world. That... That's how much I want to stop and be a normal girl who loves violin, swimming... and a normal girl who doesn't need to worry about fighting. A normal girl who capable to love a Tenoh Haruka in normal circumstances... I... I'm so selfish and weak... you have no idea that how everyday... this thought has been haunting me stronger and stronger."
Michiru broke down harder when Haruka pulling her for a hug. It was a lie that if the very same thought had not occurred on Haruka's mind. However, Haruka never put much thought about how much burden Michiru was holding back alone.
"I hate it... I hate it that this same fate is one that ties us together. Haruka, don't you think that it's just too cruel?"
"Sometimes I forget that." Haruka replied.
"Sometimes when I was lost in my own world... I would think about that too. How come our effort would be meaningless in the end? Why us and not anyone else? There are billion people on this earth but fate has chosen us... Michi... look at me."
Their eyes met again, this time though they would speak out their feelings to one another.
"You would always bring me back home. Just having you by my side would remind me that despite all the craps and bullshits happen around me... there is at least one thing goes right in my life." Haruka smiled, her smile seemed contagious since the senshi of sea also twitched up her lips.
"Us happens. You march into my life, and I never thank enough to the fate for bring you on to my lap."
"Haruka – "
"I'm not finish yet... Just looking at you Michi... it reminds me. It reminds me that fighting, with my life on stakes is totally worth it."
Michiru was puzzled by Haruka's words. The blonde grabbed Michiru's hand a bit tighter to affirm how strong her feelings she had to overcome right now.
"Fighting for this world is worth it. Because I've got you. I've got you in this world... as long as you are here, I will just kick every craps that stand on my path."
Haruka bent forward. She kissed Michiru's sorrow away. Tears by tears.
"Then I guess we will not say those words until we've done fighting." Haruka winked.
Michiru shook her head, smiling. She put her hand against Haruka's chest where the wind senshi's heart was beating.
Michiru made a movement with her lips, I love you.
The senshi of sea said it without voice.
Haruka looked at Michiru like she was the 8th wonders of the world.
"Me too, Michiru. Me too."
A/N: I never watched Haruka and Michiru say love to each other. They are a pair but the anime only show the subtext about their relationship even though they are canon. How great these two's chemistry is... It is certainly a crime to have chemistry like they have. Last but not least, I don't know if you will enjoy this kind of oneshot, but reviews are always and forever appreciated.