Truth about Lies Chapter 1
Bella POV
Have you ever told a lie?
Of course you have, we all have. But have you ever wondered what kind of impact that lie had on the person? Did it change their lives for the good or make is worse? Did it give them comfort or cause pain? In my experience, I have found that there are degrees of lies. The lowest and most common is the little white lie. That's the one you tell your friend when she gets a new hair cut that is not very flattering on her.
Next is the get out of trouble lie. As you can already guess, you tell that one to your boss or the cop that has just pulled you over. The most significant in my opinion, is the intentional lie. You tell this lie to hurt someone. It's malicious and can damage relationships.
Lastly, is the lie that can and will change how a person looks at the world around them. Sometimes the person telling the lie does so without really believing it is a lie. They have either invented the story or heard it passed down so many times that they too believe it. The tragic part of this particular lie is it becomes hard to separate the truth from the lie. Sadly, some will never know the entire truth.
My name is Bella and this is how I had to sort through the lies I was told by someone who swore to love and protect me.
My father was a single parent. My mother had taken off in the middle of the night, never to be heard from again. My Nana said she was on a mission from God; lie number one as I remember it. My father was an amazing man; he made certain I never missed any important events in my childhood. However, when I turned twelve, he began to have problems with being tired all the time.
Nana made him go to the doctor and it was then he was first diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. My dad's doctor told him to travel to Phoenix and see a specialist there. His doctor in Phoenix told him that he had a long road ahead of him, but he felt good about his treatment. We returned to Washington and my father went back to work. Everything returned to normal for a few years.
My father was the chief of police in our small town of Forks. When I say small, I mean one stop light small. Everyone knew everything about you, and what they didn't know they made up. My dad's best friend was a man named Billy Black. Billy owned a construction company with his brother-in-law Harry Clearwater. Billy's son, Jacob, helped him out during the summer and on his other school breaks. Jacob and I didn't get along, he made fun of me and called me names, and I avoided him at all costs.
When I started my junior year of high school, my dad began to complain of headaches and blurred vision. Nana again insisted that he see the doctor. This time he chose not to listen to her and lied to us both. That lie would change my life and the path I would follow. It changed the way I look at everyday people I meet.
Dad told us that his doctor said he just needs to change his eye glass prescription, which ironically never happened. He also quit complaining of the headaches and we all thought everything was fine. That Christmas, my Nana died in her sleep. She left the house that we lived in to my father and her life insurance to me. My father placed it in an account for me that I wouldn't have access to until I turned nineteen. This was the last good thing he ever did for me.
Two weeks later, my father was hunting with Billy and Jacob when he collapsed. They life flighted him to Seattle where they were able to stabilize him. The doctor told me that the headaches and blurred vision were related to the bleed he had in his brain. If he had only seen the doctor sooner, they could have prevented this. If I live to be one hundred years old, I will never forget the day I told my father goodbye.
His hands were so cold as I sat and held them. I listened as the beeping of the heart monitor echoed in the room.
"Bella?" My father's gritty, dry voice spoke.
I looked into his brown eyes, the exact same as mine, only his now had huge purple lines under them and were now dull and empty.
"I'm so sorry baby girl; I should have listened to your Nana."
A single tear slipped down his pale cheek. There was nothing to stop the river of tears that rolled down mine.
"Please say you forgive me?"
I kissed the hand that I was holding. "Daddy, please don't talk like that, there is nothing to forgive."
He began to cough and I looked around for a tissue to hand him. Once his coughing ended, he took several minutes to catch his breath and I waited patiently.
"There is still so much to teach you, so much I wanted to share with you."
"Daddy please…."
"You are the single most important thing in my life and being your father was the reason I was placed on this earth." His shaky hand began to wipe the tears away.
"Billy is the only man I can trust to take care of you, teach you the lessons you still need to learn." I wanted to argue with him, beg him to stay with me.
"He has the paper work already Bella; you have nothing to worry about."
My father told me he loved me and then fell into a coma. He never regained consciousness and died three days later. His funeral was one of the largest events Forks had ever seen as nearly the entire town showed up for it. Billy gave me space in the days following his funeral.
He and Jacob moved all of my belongings into his house on the reservation. To this day, I don't understand why he did that as his house was only a one bedroom and he and Jacob slept in the living room. Living in the same house with Jake made the days seem long and the nights even longer. He took every opportunity to be mean to me, one being syrup in my shampoo, was his favorite.
I returned to school two weeks later. The administration chose not to have me make up my work only to progress from where the rest of my class was. The summer between my Junior and senior year, I volunteered at our local hospital. It wasn't much, but it gave me an insight as to what I wanted to be when I graduated.
I turned eighteen during my senior year. I told Billy that I wanted to move back to my house in town but he forbid it. He told me he swore to keep me safe and he couldn't do that if I didn't live under his roof.
Things began to change between Billy and me after my birthday. He stopped calling me Bella and started calling me sweetheart. He would hit Jake when he did mean things to me. He even began to bring me gifts, like wild flowers and tiny trinkets. The most expensive gift he got for me should have sent red flags up for me, but it didn't. He bought me a new queen size bed and told me that a woman should have a bed fit for a queen. I just thought he was making up for Jacob's bad behavior.
It was right before Thanksgiving when I woke to a strange sound. I found Billy standing in my room at the foot of my bed. I asked him what he was doing and he told me he thought he heard me call his name. I told him I was fine and he could go back to bed. After that night, I never slept soundly again.
It was during dinner that week when he made his true intentions perfectly clear. Most of Jacob's friends had come over to watch football and eat. I had forgotten to get the cranberry sauce out of the refrigerator and headed back into the kitchen. I turned to head back to the table and found Billy blocking me in the kitchen.
"Sweetheart, you don't know the things you do to me." His eyes were locked on mine and I could feel the fear trapping me where I stood.
"I swore to Charlie that I would make you the most important person in my life and Bella, I love you. Not like a father, but as a husband should love his bride."
I could feel the vomit rising in my throat. Billy was at least ten years older than my father had been. I had trusted my father's decision to let Billy take care of me.
Before I knew what was happening, Billy took my face in his hands and kissed me. It wasn't soft or loving; it was just lips together and moaning from his throat. I never even closed my eyes.
After that, I was expected to sit beside him as he would place his arm around me. The boys in town left me alone, I felt completely alone. Looking back, I wanted to shake myself. Shout at the shell of a girl I was that this wasn't normal. I didn't have to be with a man because he said so. However, I reminded myself that the few years following the death of the only two people who truly loved me caused me to not think rationally.
I graduated in June from high school. There was no large party or brightly wrapped gifts. There was take out dinner from the gas station on the corner and Billy kissing my face and lips after he finished eating. During my volunteering at the local hospital, I decided that I wanted to become a nurse. I discussed this with Billy and at first he was hesitant. When Harry heard about it he reminded Billy that the clinic on the reservation would need a good nurse. Billy allowed me to enroll at the community college and pursue an associated degree in nursing.
Billy made it a point of informing me that since I was an adult, there would be more things he expected out of me. First, I was to make sure the house was clean and the cooking done. More things changed in the weeks following. Billy would question me every day when I would return home from class if any boys were interested in me. I told him there were no boys in any of my classes. It was a lie, but it was easier than listening to him telling me the evils of young men.
"Bella, young men have only one thing they want from a girl like you. They are out to hurt you. Get what they need and then discard you."
Thanksgiving rolled around again. Billy proudly boasted that his Bella would make the dinner. The night before, he told me that he was getting rid of his bookkeeper and that paying his bills was now my job. He would still take care of the household bills, but his business accounts would now be done by me.
"Bella that is what having a woman in the house is for. When the time comes for me to give you a ring, you will need to be able to handle running my office."
So I began to keep track of his business dealings. I continued to attend classes and even took some over the summer. Jacob was always out running around with his friends to all hours of the night. However, when I asked to go to a movie or shopping, I was told I had to stay home. I asked why it was alright for Jacob to run around and yet not me. "Boys can't get pregnant." I was told.
I was in my third month of clinical when I overheard a conversation between two other nurses. I was waiting for Jacob to pick me up, because he had been working on my car.
"I'm telling you Jane, he had the most amazing tongue and I nearly gagged when I took him in my mouth." The nurse I knew to be Jessica spoke to her friend as she drank her coffee.
"You are so lucky. Jeff is so damn tiny that I can't even feel it when he's inside me."
Her statement got my attention. I knew from one of my classes that oral sex was something that couples shared. That night I asked my neighbor Sue about oral sex.
"Any woman who puts her mouth on a man's parts like that is a whore. And any woman who would allow a man to get his face near her like that is just as bad. Don't ever let a man disgrace you like that Bella."
I continued to hear Jessica and Jane have many conversations like that one as my clinical continued. I was so confused as Jessica only talked about the same man. Wasn't a whore someone who slept around with different guys? I tossed it to the back of my mind as getting through nursing school was all I wanted at the moment. I never once thought Billy would lie to me.
When I was a few weeks away from graduation, Billy brought an application home. It was for the clinic on the reservation. I tried to act excited. I just didn't want to work in a clinic that only treated cuts and scrapes. With a heavy heart, I filled out the information and attached my current resume.
Fate had to be watching out for me that day as I had no more than handed the paperwork to Billy that the local news reported the closing of the clinic on the reservation. Seems some illegal activity had been going on and the government was investigating. Billy had wanted me to wait until it re-opened and I neither agreed nor disagreed. I just stay silent.
Weeks went by and there was no word as to when the clinic would open. Many of the locals said that they liked going to the doctors in Forks anyway because the care was better. Billy wouldn't budge, he told me to wait.
It was a Thursday when my world made a drastic shift. I had cleaned the house, done laundry and even had a roast in the crock-pot. I had just gathered all of the bills and was about to make out checks to be paid. As I did the mundane job of opening envelope after envelope, I nearly missed the blue and white envelope.
It was a Zale's jewelry store credit card bill. When I looked it over, I noticed that the one and only charge was two weeks ago. It was for one thousand dollars and for a ring. I quickly took the serial numbers off the credit card bill and entered them into the website for Zale's. My eyes became huge as I looked at the diamond engagement ring. He intended to marry me.
Billy would never know the amount of fire he lit in me that day.
A/ So this is my new fiction. I know it seems like Bella is naive, and she most defiantly is. She is going to learn about the real world around her and not the one that Billy and Sue created for her. I love to hear your thoughts and who knows, maybe I will add one of your experiences into this fiction.