Disclaimer: Two truths and a lie: I don't own Harry Potter; all rights go to the respective owners; I have gone swimming with sharks. (If you guessed anything other than three as the lie, hahahahahaha *tears* Who do you think I am? JK Rowling? I WISH. So basically, all rights go to the respective owners.

Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition / Season Six, Round Ten

Team: Puddlemere United

Position: Captain

Prompt: Write about a character having an affair (see A/N at the end of the story).

Word Count (not including title and author's notes): 2083 (Google Docs)

An Espresso Affair

Three things in this world were absolutely certain. The first was that Harry Potter always attracted the worst kind of trouble. Secondly, an angry Hermione Granger (now Granger-Weasley, though the logic behind the statement still stands) is to be avoided at all costs. And the third thing was perhaps the most currently pressing to a certain irate witch.

Ron Weasley was a lying, cheating bastard.

.oOo.

Hermione sat in the darkened living room waiting for her husband to come home. She knew it was incredibly cliché, but she wanted to be there when he arrived, so she could turn on the light and confront him. It was late. The clock on the wall told her it was eighteen minutes past one in the morning. Usually, she would be in bed by now, a book loosely in her hands and the bedside light still on because she fell asleep reading. Yes, it was late, but that was fine.

She would wait a little longer and let her anger continue to boil.

While Hermione hadn't caught Ron in the act per se, she was reasonably confident that he was having an affair. The classic red flags were all there. He could try and deny it all he wanted, but it was the little things that gave him away. The late work hours where he couldn't be reached—supposedly he was "learning new skills." That made her stomach turn. She didn't want to think about that more than she had to. Her persistent questions were met with his evasive non-answers when she asked him where he had been.

The last red flag was that Ron came home clean as if he had just finished showering. That might sound odd, but it was true.

She was used to him coming home at a reasonable time, sweaty and exhausted from working as an Auror. He would always kick off his shoes in the front hall and drop his bag by the door, and she would tell him to pick up after himself. It was a habit, it was familiar, and now he was different.

He continued to brush off her concerns.

She wouldn't take it anymore. Harry and Ginny had tried to tell her that it was probably nothing, that he had to grow up sometime and of course, he still loved her. She was getting so sick of hearing that "There had never been anyone else for him." Oh yeah? Then what about Lavender? Hermione hated to bring up old school romances, but there were times that she still felt insecure—which was silly, she knew it was. They had been married for three happy years. They argued, of course, but they didn't fight like they used to.

It was just that after three weeks of increasingly concerning behavior with zero explanations made her worry. And there still was the pregnancy that she hadn't told Ron about.

"So, are you going to sit here in the dark all night, or are you going to come to bed?"

Hermione's head snapped up. Ron was standing in the doorway a goofy grin on his face. When had he arrived home? She hadn't heard the Floo! Hermione narrowed her eyes. Once again, he seemed like he had just stepped out of the shower, except this time was different. Hermione could smell the difference from across the room.

He smelled flowery.

Like he had used a woman's body wash and shampoo.

"You lying bastard!"

Hermione leaped to her feet and reached for her wand, but Ron was quicker. His work as an Auror had paid off, and he silently disarmed her. A weird expression crossed his face, although she barely noticed. The silent spell, something he had always struggled with, had sent her over the edge.

Oh, so he had been practicing his wandwork?

Tears fell down her face, bitter streaks across her cheeks. She swallowed back a sob. However this conversation ended, she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing her heartbreak.

"Uh, what—?"

"You cheating, lying, despicable piece of garbage!"

Ron's cheeks and ears turned red. To his credit—though Hermione wouldn't give him any at the moment—he took a deep breath and didn't lash out. He even lowered his wand, but she watched as his grip around it tighten angrily.

"What. Do. You. Mean. Cheat?"

He might have been angry, but Hermione was like an angel on the warpath. Even though she didn't have her wand, Hermione hoped that she could put enough punch into her words. She wanted to make him feel her pain.

"I mean exactly what I said, Ronald," she spat. " Why did you do it? Who is she?"

Hermione didn't want to know the answer to her second question. She really didn't, but she needed a name if she was going to track this witch down.

"How do you know about Maddie?"

His bewildered expression caused her to laugh. The mocking sound echoed in the darkened room.

"How do I know about M-Maddie?" She stuttered through the witch's name because she was trying not to cry and failing spectacularly. "How could I not know, Ronald! I am your wife. You're never here. Every night, you come home late. You don't tell me what you've been doing or what kept you so long. And you come up clean! I can't believe you've been cheating on me!"

The last words left her mouth, and time froze. She watched Ron's face slowly change from hurt and anger to relief and bitter amusement. If possible, Hermione felt her heart shatter more. There was nothing about this that he should find funny.

His harsh laughter broke the spell.

"Oh, this is great," he said. "I get pegged for cheating because I'm trying to grow up."

"Having an affair is not growing up!"

"Hermione, listen—" He reached out to touch her, but she jerked away from his touch.

"Don't touch me."

He slowly stepped back and lifted his hands. Hermione glared at him. What she wouldn't give to have her wand again...

"I am not having an affair. I swear," he said. She scoffed, and he continued. "Maddie is the very, very gay Muggle barista who is teaching me how to make coffee."

It was her turn to laugh.

"Are you kidding me, Ronald? That's the best lie you could come up with?"

"I'm telling you the truth." The red faded from his cheeks and ears. Smiling slightly, he reached into his pocket. Ron reached out and opened his hand. Hermione gasped.

There, in his open palm, was the Deluminator.

"I promised in our vows that I would never leave you again," he whispered. The air in the room was thick, and Hermione struggled to breathe. "You are my home, Hermione. All of this means nothing without you."

"But—"

She felt cold metal press into her palm, and Ron covered her hands with his.

"I'm quitting my job as an Auror."

"What?"

This was all too much, too fast. How could Ron just quit his job? She had an excellent job with the Ministry—and had ambitions to become Minister of Magic—but that wasn't now. Now they would struggle on one paycheck. It was going to be tough with Ron working and her on maternity leave. With Ron out of work, it felt impossible.

Ron led her over to the couch—she was surprised and too stunned to put up a fight—and he started to explain.

"I want to be home more," he said a bit sheepishly. "I now understand that's ironic considering how absent I've been lately. But I want to start a family, Hermione. You're going to be Minister of Magic someday—I just know it. Someone has to be home more often, and my job as an Auror wouldn't help in that sense."

"But— You—" Hermione shook her head in confusion. "Where does Maddie come into all this?"

"Maddie's wife is one of the new Auror recruits," Ron said with a slight smile. "Remember when I came home with that nasty black eye and cut on my arm? That was during one of our training exercises. She doesn't hold anything back—and neither does Maddie. Maddie once told me that even though she deals with anxiety every day, she refuses to feel powerless. One cup of coffee at a time."

Hermione stared at Ron incredulously. He shrugged.

"It works for her, but I understand the mentality behind it," he replied. She raised an eyebrow.

"You do?"

"Sure." Ron nodded. "That's part of the reason why I asked her to help me learn how to make coffee—literally. There's only so much we can do, but I wanted to take a step back. Harry has the Auror stuff under control. I want to help George invent and run the shop. He needs a hand. And if I can hand you a cup of coffee in the morning as you run off to change the world, I will feel better."

Hermione felt herself melt into a puddle of swirling emotions. On the one hand, that was so sweet. But on the other hand, she thought he had been cheating on her! It was hard to reconcile those feelings with what he was telling her now. She looked up into his beautiful eyes and knew that he was telling her the truth.

She leaned in and hugged him.

"You can change the world, too," she mumbled. "I don't want you to feel like you're being left out."

Ron gently returned the embrace.

"I don't feel left behind. I've grown a lot since school," he said as he stroked her hair. "Harry is the leader everyone will always turn to, and you are the brilliant witch who will change the world. I'm not meant to be in the spotlight."

"Ron—"

"No, Hermione. I'm okay with that—really! Every team needs a person who sees the bigger picture and can force others to see it, too. No matter how many Dark wizards Harry faces or how brilliant you are, you both suck at strategy. You still can't beat me in a game of chess."

Hermione smiled. It was true. She was still terrible at chess, no matter how often she practiced.

"Why do you smell flowery?"

"Oh, you can thank my Auror squad for that one," Ron chuckled. "It's all catching wizards and pranking people with them. I think Harry was the one to swap the shampoo if you want to ask him."

"I'm sorry."

She said the words so softly, she almost didn't hear them. Hermione knew that Ron heard her, however, because he held her tighter. How could she have been so wrong?

"But seriously, why the constant showers?"

Ron chuckled at her question.

"I've been learning how to make different kinds of coffee after work most days," he said. "I didn't want to come how smelling like it—it would ruin the surprise."

"And what would that be?"

"A French press machine, perfectly ground coffee beans, and me handing you a latte with a heart designed into the foam. Maddie's been teaching me about latte art." He said the last part proudly, and Hermione couldn't help but smile.

"She sounds like a nice person...but does she know caffeine doesn't help anxiety?"

Ron leaned back and laughed loudly. It was nice, seeing him so relaxed and not twitching on the ground with tentacles on his face from her angry hexes. Not that she had done that in the past, of course. It had just been a possibility when she had planned to confront him about having an affair—which was now a non-issue.

"She drinks decaf. In Maddie's words, it's 'sad brown water.'"

He let go of her and stood up. Reaching down, he offered her a hand. Hesitating just for a moment, she took it and stood next to him.

"Anything else? Any other pressing news or accusations that you need to get off your chest?"

Ron smiled teasingly, but the words slipped out of her mouth before she could stop them.

"I'm pregnant."

They stood and looked at each other: Hermione, apprehensive, and Ron, shocked.

"Yeah, that would be something else."

Then in the next moment, he picked her up and spun her around in joy.

"I'M GOING TO BE A DAD! HERMIONE, THIS IS AMAZING— WAIT!"

He stopped, and she looked at him warily. What could it be now?

"Can you have coffee when you're pregnant?"

Hermione opened her mouth to reply when she abruptly stopped.

"You know what? I honestly don't know for sure."

A/N: Hello there :) Thank you for reading my story! I would just like to say that I do not approve of cheaters, and I couldn't bring myself to write a story about someone cheating and it turning out okay for them. Even if it works out for no one in the story, there are still too many broken (fictional) hearts and a lot of not-so-great (real life) morals in those kinds of stories. So I took the prompt and twisted it a bit—there was another woman, but it's not what you think.