Scared, Jealous, Afraid

Note: In this story, Divine and Sayer are two different people. TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE. (I couldn't think of a second name so I went with the English name)

Special thanks to melan anime for pointing out some of the disparity in the story.

Have you ever love someone to the point that you are sorry that you are not their ideal partner?

The moment I knew that Aki had a crush on someone else, I cried. I didn't cry when I found out she was with Divine, nor did I cry when she became a couple with Sayer, but I cried now. I wasn't there when she and Divine got together and I didn't try to win Aki's heart when Sayer came into her life, but now as I attempt to get her affection, this total stranger enters her life and swept her off her feet and I've been left a side like a second-wheel.

Divine had cheated on her; flirting with other girls which lead to their break up, an irony that I would meet Divine first and got indirectly introduced to Aki by him. Six months of getting to know her, talking to her, spending time with her, I finally came to the realization that I was in love with Aki. Two months of indecisiveness led me to plan to confess to her by the end of the third month but then Sayer entered the scene and stole her away. I felt betrayed; because she told me that there she and Sayer were just friends, and strictly friends.

Don't get me wrong; I do understand that she was referring to at the moment of time that they were friends, but I believed her, or should I say foolish believed her that they would stay strictly friends when they became a couple before I could confess. I trusted her word, thinking I still had a chance with Aki. She knew all along of course that I liked her, you can't hide that from a woman and I confessed to my crime when she asked me while she was still together with Sayer. It was embarrassing, demoralizing and shameful to tell the girl you love why you love her and then she has to tell you to go love someone else instead.

Eventually both of them split after Sayer couldn't commit to the relationship, leaving Aki devastated. I did what I could to cheer her up but I wasn't successful most of the time. I had to turn to Carly to take care of her since at that moment she needed friendship, not a relationship. I tried offering her my friendship, but the fact did I still was in love with her was too obvious to ignore. Without knowing the reason though, we did share a rare moment once with each other where we just talked; that was the closest I got to had a heart-to-heart with her ever since my confession.

The days to come had me trying to be by her side, worrying day and night if she would be okay. Yet she still rejects me, while all the other guys start confessing to her once more. "Just leave her!" Crow had said, "She isn't worth it." Bruno added, "Stop wasting your time fool." Jack blurted out. Don't say that they are bad friends, they meant well for me since they knew what I went through over Aki, but it was Martha that awoke me, "What good is a relationship when only one side is committed my dear child?"

On a particular Monday, I decided to text Aki; completely brainwashed that we could only just be at most close friends, there was trouble at the workshop and I just wanted to talk to someone. What transpire instead was that Aki and I spending time together. She shared about how she was and I shared a bit of myself. There were laughs, there were smiles, and there was joy. I didn't think much of it though, just a sign that she was getting better. The next day, after much contemplation I had decided to pay Aki a visit, worrying that she had an empty stomach so I brought something for her. We ended up spending time again and just had fun and laughter with a teddy bear I brought for her during her birthday. The texting and messaging continued throughout the week and I thought that my perseverance had paid off. I took every chance I could to spend time with her I've learned my lesson from Sayer that I should seize the moment. I didn't care why things were suddenly this way I just know that this was the chance that had been stolen from me that I could get back, so I am.

And then she told me about her crush on this other guy. She won't tell me his name but I had already deduced his identity. It was too obvious from who she kept interacting with. She told me that her feelings for him will fade away, but I remember well when she told me that she and Sayer were just friends.

I am scared, fearful that I would lose Aki over someone who just appeared. I spend six months before deciding that I had fallen in love with her. I love Izayoi Aki! I really love her! I love her from the bottom of my heart. I want to be her boyfriend, to be together with her, to spend time with her, to get married to each other, to grow old together! This isn't some childish infatuation, every single day for the last eight months I ask myself how I feel about her and it went from I like her, to I want her, to I like her but we can only be friends, to I love her, to I hate her, to I love her again. I was jealous, this person who could undermine eight months of pain and suffering in just one sentence.

The fact that she tries to get his attention adds even more agony to me. What was that one week we spend to her? WHAT AM I TO HER? I FEEL LIKE A SECOND WHEEL THAT SHE COMES BACK TO WHEN SHE FEELS LIKE IT. WHY?! WHY CAN'T SHE LOVE ME BACK! WHY?!

At this moment I am crying once more, because it seems like I have been made into a cuckoo of myself; cheated, about to be betrayed once more by the very person I thought would bring the happiness that I've longed for. But I can't give up! I can't! I won't let it end like this; I have to see this to the end, because I have given my heart to her already.

I love you Aki. I love you.

Author's note:

I don't own 5D's or any of its characters. If you could, please leave a review or favourite the story if you enjoyed it. If you identified a spelling or grammatical error feel free to just point it out.

… This was originally supposed to be a happy story… but in seven seconds anything can be ended.

Special thanks to Saki-rose chan and melan anime for leaving a review!