The tyrant's early morning inner struggle
On emerging from the bathroom Souichi checked the check-out time and found out that the check-out wasn't for at least another 4 hours. 'Damn, why did I have to up this early? ', Souichi grumbled. He decided to let Morinaga sleep for a while longer, no , almost up to the check-out time so that the idiot wouldn't have any chance to bring up last night. Souichi still hadn't thought about how he'd deal with the issue when it came up sooner or later. So he decided to avoid giving Morinaga a chance to bring it up as long as possible. For now he would let the perverted idiot sleep.
'I lost my mind, I was temporarily insane', Souichi thought ;there was no other reason, no other possible explanation. Was there any other explanation for his actions last night?, he wondered. As much as he would like to place the blame entirely on the sleeping pervert's head, that damn bastard had been nothing but kind and really nice to him last night; with uplifting words about how it hadn't all turned out to be that bad and how Souichi had a great, loving, close-knit family unlike Morinaga's own. Morinaga had also said that he wished he'd had a family like Souich's. That boy was actually being very sweet, kind and supportive to him without pitying him or being overly sympathetic . And this was when Souichi had pointedly questioned him about his intentions while assuming the worst. The boy had looked so shaken up, so shocked and stricken that he'd almost cried out in frustration and gone on to try and explain his actions to Souichi . Souichi had felt guilty about that, he still did.
Now as he looked at the tall form sleeping, huddled in the sheets, the boy looked so peaceful, so disarmingly endearing. As Souichi gazed at the glossy black hair that seemed to tickle the boy's temples and slightly caressed Morinaga's delicately sculpted cheekbones, he was struck be this sudden urge to caress the boy's face, touch and feel that soft smooth skin. He extended his fingers letting his fingertips gently brush the boy's hair. 'So soft', Souichi thought as he let his fingers graze the boy's cheekbone and then let his fingers trail up as he gently brushed Morinaga's bangs out of his eyes. The cut above the dark eyebrow had almost completely healed. Souichi felt a stab of pain as he remembered how he had yelled at Morinaga for being reckless and careless and he hadn't had a chance to thank him for saving Kanako. But the memory of the incident still filled him with dread, what if something had happened to Morinaga. The boy was the biggest idiot and the most reckless fool he had come across. Throwing himself in harm's way just like that, so impulsively and without a second thought. It pissed him off and he wanted to punch and kick Morinaga so badly but sagely decided to postpone it for some other time. But then would Souichi wondered if himself have behaved any differently than Morinaga if he was placed under those exact same circumstances? The realization that he too probably would have done the exact same thing as Morinaga and that he too was almost as reckless as the idiotic boy shocked him to the core. Maybe that was why he felt the need to keep the idiot close to himself so that he could stop the boy from making foolish mistakes or decisions that were definitely harmful to himself. He didn't know why exactly he couldn't let the boy leave but he just couldn't.
As he lightly ran a finger over Morinaga's eyebrow, he found himself bending down to kiss the space where the cut had almost entirely healed. Would it leave a scar behind? Souichi briefly found himself wondering how different Morinaga would look with a barely visible scar almost entirely hidden by the boy's dark bangs. Then as he looked at Morinaga he realized he didn't even care. The boy was so beautiful, as he slept, his expression so vulnerable, so open; his long dark eyelashes looking as silken as his hair. Had he just called Morinaga beautiful? What was wrong with him? But for some reason Souichi just couldn't look away from the sleeping face. As Souichi's eyes swept over Morinaga's slightly and delicately chiseled fine-boned face, his gaze locked on the full reddish lips that were slightly parted. He hadn't realized that he was reaching over and running a careful finger over them until he was doing so. Souichi felt a furious blush creeping over his cheeks and creeping up his neck and ears when the sight reminded him of how he had almost hungrily sought those very same lips and captured them with his own just a few hours ago. Morinaga's breathing changed slightly and Souichi quickly withdrew his hand. He felt himself calm down when he realized Morinaga was just stirring in his sleep and that he hadn't woken him up. 'That would be bothersome' ,muttered Souichi and even as he did so he found his own gaze turning back to those luscious and oh so gorgeous full lips, he couldn't help feeling like a crazy pervert himself. He felt his heart thundering in his own chest and his cheeks heating as he remembered what else those lips, that mouth, that tongue had done to him last night. He realized with a shock that he desired more and he could feel his desire pooling in his stomach and his blood being pumped to a region he didn't want it to.
As much as Souichi hated to admit it, even to himself last night it had felt so full of emotion as if Morinaga was reaching out to him,a seeking his heart wanting to fill it with emotions and feelings that Morinaga was overflowing with. He couldn't help remembering the gentleness and tenderness with which Morinaga had showered him with attention yesterday. As if Souichi was a delicate object and Morinaga wanted to treasure him while chasing away all his worries, his fears and drown him in tender affection, inundate him with the strong currents that were Morinaga's gentle and loving ministrations and sail him away in a ship of Morinaga's sweet and warm touches and let him rest peacefully in an island of Morinaga's loving embrace. Now that Souichi thought about it last night felt so different; it was as if Morinaga was trying to convey something to him. Morinaga's every action was overflowing with such tenderness, every caress so purposeful as if to draw attention to itself through it's gentleness, it's warmth as if trying to tell Souichi that there will always be support and love for him from many places no matter what.
As Souichi looked on at those beautiful lips he remembered how Morinaga had called out to him while trailing kisses over him,'+ Morinaga's beautiful green eyes flooding with such a warm guileless expression full of love trying desperately to hold onto his own eyes. Again Souichi felt a pang in his chest. He shouldn't have called the boy a player or misjudged his intentions so hastily when the boy was trying so earnestly to comfort him and cheer him up. 'But could I really be the only one to blame?', Souichi thought but the stupid guilt wouldn't go away. He had so thoroughly misunderstood the boy's intentions and had assumed the worst and as if that wasn't enough he had very harshly voiced his misconceptions, hurting the poor boy in the process. Now it made Souichi feel so much more guilty. And to think after all that HE had gone and kissed the boy initiating the very thing he had condemned and deemed inappropriate at 'such a time' a while ago. Souichi blushed again as he recalled what had followed after the kiss ;his heart racing and blood rushing to fuel his need and he could feel the desire pulsating through his entire being. Those damn sinfully beautiful lips, they were the root cause of this mess, yesterday and now. ' I should stop looking at them this instant', Souichi thought while tearing his gaze away and willing himself to calm down. He decided to go to the bathroom to change out of the robe he was wearing. Though Morinaga was still fast asleep, Souichi couldn't trust the pervert to wake up, catch him changing and not jump him. Souichi realized with a start that some part of him almost wanted that to happen and he hated that part of him and realized that THAT PART of him would relent to Morinaga if he let it take control of himself. He blamed this part of him that craved Morinaga's touches for what happened yesterday and realized he would need to be doubly guarded and keep this part of himself under strict control in the future.
As Souichi emerged from the bathroom decked in his jeans and his shirt he found that it still smelled of smoke. He used all his strength not to recall the horrible things that had happened and the even more horrible feelings that had ravaged his mind during the fire incident. He looked at the clock and realized with a shock that only 10 mins were left up to the check-out time. Souichi couldn't believe he had really spent that many hours drinking in the sight of Morinaga and touching the idiot's face while thinking strange thoughts. Souichi felt like he really was going insane! But it was okay he just had to act like he always did, as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn't done anything to change his dynamic with Morinaga. He schooled his facial features into what he hoped desperately was his usual expression and decided to wake Morinaga up.