I can't believe that she's going to marry him! I can't believe that she's going to marry him! For the love of God how can someone be so… insecure as to marry that dopey oaf!

Quinn drove like a madwoman on crack, on her way to Rachel's house. Quinn regretted the decision that she made when she agreed to be one of Rachel's bridesmaid.

I guess I just love torturing myself on the inside.

Every time Quinn remembered the thought, she seemed to be lucky enough to find some sort of hard surface to hit her head on. That one time, she was in the vicinity of a textured wall near McKinley's bleachers. Judy Fabray's questions at home about the redness of her bruised forehead were brushed off with injuries she sustained during cheerleading practice.

Quinn parked her red Beetle right near the bride's driveway. On the way to the front door, Quinn cursed her inability to say no to her friends, heck to anybody who cared to ask her for anything. The former HBIC growled and proceeded to straighten the bouquet of deep red roses for Rachel. Quinn smiled wistfully at the memory the roses carried with them.

4years ago…

"Oooh look Quinn! Roses! Oh how I wish Finn would give me roses."

Quinn chuckled to herself, watching the antics of Rachel.

"Well, if you want I can buy you one Rachel."

"No that's ok Quinn. I appreciate it though. But if you buy me one, I think I would want some purple ones or some white ones. The colours mean true friends and/or confidant. Either way, thanks! I can always count on you to make me feel better!"

Rachel kissed Quinn on the cheek then.

Present day…

Quinn smiled at the roses for Rachel while rubbing her cheeks wistfully.

"Oyy! Come inside already! It's raining!"

Quinn snapped out of her reverie and covered the roses so other people and Rachel can't see what she brought.

Quinn entered Rachel's house and hugged the bride as greeting. Rachel beamed happily at her best friend.

"Thanks for coming Quinn! Urgh it has been such a loooong day…" Rachel plopped on her bed. Quinn smiled and sat down next to her.

"I have something to make you feel better. Here you go." Quinn handed her the roses with a shy smile.

"Oooooooohhhhhhh Quinn!" Rachel squealed happily. She hugged her best friend then, not noticing how Quinn seemed to be holding her with all her might, too happy in smelling her roses. Quinn remembered that Rachel wanted yellow or purple roses from her but Quinn chose deep red instead, to stand for love and beauty.

"You shouldn't have Quinn! How perfect is this! Thank you!"

Quinn smiled, letting go of Rachel reluctantly.

That night, the two best friends huddled close on the bed talking about little things and how Rachel cannot believe that she is going to be married soon.

Here goes nothing thought Quinn.

"Rach, are you sure about this? Are you really going to marry Finn? Is he really the one for you?" Quinn waited nervously for Rachel's response.

"Quinn….'" breathed out Rachel.

This has been the battle fought long before this moment. Quinn will start asking cryptic questions – always questioning Rachel and Finn's marriage – and Rachel would try to avoid answering her. In the end it will result in her and Quinn fighting and crying and then hugging it out amongst stuttering sorrys. It never ends differently. But now Quinn is determined to finish it out even if that meant that Quinn could be kicked out of her best friend's wedding.

"No Rachel. Just for this once answer me. I need to be assured that this is in fact what you want for yourself. I can't send my best friend out into married life if it will make her miserable."

At this Rachel huffed and stomped into her walk-in closet. Quinn sat up bewildered.

Why on earth would lead Rachel to go into her closet at this moment?

Quinn started to follow Rachel but she put her hand up as if to command Quinn to stay in the bedroom. Quinn sat waiting while Rachel rummaged through her closet area.

One thing people know about Rachel is that she has borderline OCD when it comes to neatness of her things and room. So when Rachel keep throwing stuff out of the closet and leaving the things wildly on the floor, it got Quinn worried.

It must be important what she is doing right now. I'd better not disturb her now. SHIT SHE IS SCARING THE SHIT OUT OF ME! I need to go to her NOW!

"Rach? Are you okay? Do you need help?"

Rachel barreled out of her closet and put what appeared to be a worn-out album on the bed. Rachel stood by her bed and pointed out the album to Quinn.

"Look through that and ask me again."

Quinn hesitantly rifled through the pages and saw to her dismay that it was actually an album of wedding things. Magazine clippings of wedding dresses, pictures of wedding cakes, swatches of linens are fastened by staplers on each page. Sprawling writings covered every inch of the pages. The album was worn-out and frayed near the edges. On the pages that featured the bride and groom, little hearts adorned the words ONE DAY. Pages and pages of wedding paraphernalia can be seen.

Quinn felt her heart constrict at the album. Rachel waited until Quinn finally closed the album and faced her.

"Why are you showing me the album Rachel?"

"You asked if getting married is the right thing for me. You asked if Finn was the one for me. This is my answer to you. I dreamt of my wedding since I was a little girl. I planned my wedding and I've put everything that I ever wanted in my album. I've kept this to myself, never letting anyone touch it. I was afraid that someone would take it away from me. I never thought that someone like Finn could ever love me that much to want to marry me. Even before he proposed I've been picturing him to be the groom in the pictures and I found myself wanting that to be true. So in answer to your question, yes marriage is right for me. That is not the question. Finn is kind and he loves me. Marrying him is the right thing for me. I dream to be someone's wife. This is it Quinn. Believe me."

Quinn could see that Rachel fought hard to explain everything to Quinn without tearing up. Rachel did not dare to look Quinn directly and had balled up her hands to stop herself from crying. Quinn fought back tears and moved forward and hugged Rachel fiercely.

"Never ever doubt that you are loved Rachel. NEVER! I will not allow it. You are a kind and generous person. If anything people will fight over you." I know I would Quinn thought.

That night, after some tears and heartfelt talks Quinn was determined never to tell Rachel how she really felt. How marrying Finn is tearing her whole soul apart. How the mere thought of Rachel pledging her life and love to Finn at the altar felt like the whole world is throwing knives at her heart, how all the tears during the wedding ceremony left Quinn with deep sorrow. Tears that she dismissed to other people of joy rather than of getting her heart broken. Only Quinn could mask the bleeding of her heart as joy for her best friend and now her lost love.

The wedding was beautiful. It was perfect. The runway across the hall was adorned by cherry blossom petals and French lampposts were strewn across the hall, illuminating the bride and groom. It really was a fairytale. The bridesmaids and the groomsmen were side-by-side when they walked on the runway and towards the back the bride and groom followed the wedding procession, with Christina Perri's A Thousand Years playing in the background. It was perfect.

Quinn was beside herself that morning, running around to make sure that the hall was perfect, that the food was all laid out, that the chairs and tables are enough for the guests. She was working like she was part of the family, all in her bridesmaid's attire. It did not matter that she forgot her watch and bracelet. All that mattered was that everything was perfect for Rachel. In fact that was the mantra that Quinn had repeated to herself that morning.

For Rachel. For Rachel. For Rachel. Oh God, is that a broken chair? How can the caterer be so careless! The carpet is dirty! Seriously whose ass do I need to kick for a freaking vacuum?

Quinn nearly missed taking photos with the wedding party. She was so busy overlooking the hall to check and double check that everything was perfect. When it was time to take a photo with the bride, Quinn decided to put up a brave front and smile. Her smile looks genuine and no one noticed that she had on a fake smile. Her heart was breaking into a million pieces and all anyone could see was her big smile when she hugged her best friend.

"Thank you Quinn for your help. Thank you for being the perfect maid of honour! I love you."

Quinn just smiled and hugged Rachel.

After the reception, Finn and Rachel went to Rachel's house to pack their things and get ready for their honeymoon. Quinn was once again there to help Rachel get her things while Finn bonded with the two Mr. Berrys. While packing up her suitcase, Rachel stole glances at Quinn. Quinn noticed but didn't think anything of it. When Rachel once again looked at her as if she wanted to say something, Quinn heaved out a breath.

"Yes Rachel? What do you want to say? I know you want to say something."

Rachel surged forward and hugged Quinn tightly. Quinn hugged her back as tightly and it seemed as if neither woman would want to let go. Rachel was crying softly while Quinn was fighting back tears. They can't both be crying and be useless at the same time. Quinn chose to be the strong one in that moment.

After what seemed to be an eternity, both women simultaneously loosened their hold on one another. Rachel and Quinn smiled at each other. Rachel held fast on Quinn's hands.

"Thank you Quinn. I mean it when I say you are my best friend. You are the best friend anyone could ask for. If I were gay I would marry you right here and now!" at that, both women laughed and hugged.

"It was my pleasure Rachel. I want your happiest day to be the most perfect day. I know this means a lot to you, so I had to help anyway I can."

Rachel and Finn waved at everyone in their car. Rachel blew a kiss to Quinn and drove off.

Five years later:

It has been years since Quinn and Rachel last spoke. Work got in the way, Quinn being a famous food writer/critic and photographer and Rachel a stay-at-home mother of two.

The last time they spoke was when Quinn told Rachel that she was moving to New York as a job at a food magazine was waiting for her.

Flashback five years earlier:

Ring ring. Ring ring.

"Rachel Ber… Hudson speaking!"

Quinn chuckled at the mistake that Rachel made.

"Rachel! You have to get used to your new name!"

"QUINN!"

"It's nice to see you have not forgotten my name!"

"How can I forget my best friend's name?"

"Rachel, are you busy right now? I have some news."

"Oh my goodness! Are you getting married?" Rachel did not know why but her heart fell when she uttered those words.

"What? No! I don't even have a boyfriend! So are you going to let me tell my news or are we just going to play the guessing game?"

"Oh, ha-freaking-ha! Fine! Tell me your news."

Quinn took a deep breath before telling Rachel her news.

"I've got a job at a food magazine."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Quinn held her phone away from her ear until Rachel's screams ceased.

"Rachel! Rachel! Breathe! Oh my God! My ears!"

"OMG! OMG! I am so happy for you! How lucky is the magazine that they got you!"

"Thank you Rachel. That's very nice of you. I will just be the junior assistant to one of the resident food critic."

"Quinn Fabray! Do not sell yourself short! You are a talented and the hardest worker I have ever met! The magazine is the one that's lucky."

"Thank you Rae."

"You are very welcome. So are you going to come over? Finn's going to stay at Puck's tonight. They've got a project going on. I think it's just an excuse for Finn to get some space away from me. Oh well, no matter! You come over and I'll cook the noodles that you like! I shall expect you at 7 sharp!"

Quinn chuckled at the speed at which Rachel speaks. It is as if she did not have to even breathe while she says paragraphs.

"OK OK! Geez… Rachel please breathe. I will come over later."

"Yeay! I can't wait!"

That night Quinn nervously got out of her car and tried to flatten her short choppy hair and checked her makeup. As usual she looked every bit of a goddess. Quinn clutched her bouquet of white cala lilies as it was Rachel's second favourite flower after gardenias.

"Quinn! Get a grip. This is not a date. Rachel is your friend. You are straight and Rachel is straight too." Quinn chastised herself.

-Knock knock-

Like a hurricane Rachel lunged at Quinn. Squeals of oh-my-gods and how-are-yous can be heard.

"Quinn! You look ravishing tonight!"

"Thank you Rachel. You look pretty too. This is for you." Quinn handed Rachel the flowers and Rachel kissed Quinn's cheek.

"How lovely Q! I love them!"

At the dining table, conversations flowed easily between the two. It wasn't until Rachel asked the question of where EXACTLY Quinn will be working at that all hell broke loose.

"uhmmm.. yeah… I have something to tell you. I forgot to tell you on the phone earlier. The magazine's HQ is in New York. I am going to move there tomorrow. I'll be starting work Monday."

Rachel cannot believe her ears. How can Quinn be moving to a whole new place and tell her now? Why didn't she tell Rachel sooner? Rachel could feel the tears coming and to keep the tears at bay abruptly stood up to check on dinner.

Quinn was surprised at Rachel's abrupt departure from the table and just followed with her eyes.

"Food's nearly ready. Just relax and I'll bring the food to you." Rachel beamed her award-winning smile at Quinn, hoping that Quinn would not notice how shiny her eyes are from the unshed tears. She looked away pretending to fuss over the food and wiped angrily at her eyes.

Quinn knew Rachel enough to notice her fake smile and stood behind Rachel.

"Rae…" Rachel put up her hand to silence Quinn.

"Quinn. I'll bring the food to you. Just sit back down." Rachel said, her voice catching.

At that Quinn knew immediately that Rachel was crying silently. She hugged Rachel from behind. At that, Rachel burst out crying and turned around and fiercely hugged Quinn.

"Shh.. It's okay. It's just New York. I'll come by every two weeks and see you. Don't cry or you'll make me cry too."

Rachel punched Quinn on the arm with all her might then.

"Oww! What was that for?"

"Why didn't you tell me sooner Q? Why in hell would you not tell me that I will not have my best friend with me while I do my wifely duties? Why didn't you tell me that my best friend will not be just a 15min drive away but that I have to cross state lines to get to her and see her and physically touch her face?" Rachel touched Quinn's face right then and shook her.

Quinn cried then. Quinn made it a habit never to let other people know what she feels. But with Rachel cupping her face and feeling very emotional Quinn cried.

"I'm sorry. I thought you would be busy with Finn that it would not matter that I am far away. I thought it would be okay."

"Okay?! Okay?! How can you say that? You and me have been through thick and thin together. You were the only one who helped me during my wedding. You are more than family to me Quinn!"

Quinn did not say anything then but continued to cry silently. Never quite looking at Rachel but looked down instead.

Rachel let go of Quinn and continued to prepare the food.

They ate in silence; the occasional sniffle could be heard from them.

After dinner, usually Quinn would be the one who would brew the coffee for both of them but that night Quinn reached for her bag, signaling that she was leaving.

Quinn walked over to Rachel at the kitchen and kissed her cheek and whispered bye. Rachel did not budge from her place at the sink. Quinn sighed and opened the front door.

This might be the last time that I will see her before New York. I need to give her a proper goodbye, Quinn thought.

Quinn ran to the kitchen and found Rachel crying at the sink. Quinn grabbed Rachel's face and kissed her on the lips.

"I love you Rachel. Goodbye…"

Rachel was stunned and touched her lips but did not say anything.

Quinn was horrified that she kissed Rachel and turned around to run to the front door to her car. She sped through traffic and went to McKinley High School. She did not know the reason behind the destination but as if on autopilot went to the field. She sat in the middle of the field and just laid down on the grass, too stunned to do anything.

Back to the present, five years later…

Quinn groaned inwardly, remembering the memory. She still hit her head whenever she remembered that particular memory. One would've thought that she would let it go and move on.

"This is the shepherd's pie that you ordered miss. Enjoy your meal!" The waitress smiled at Quinn and she smiled back.

She is kinda hot, thought Quinn appreciatively.

Quinn now realized that she was in fact attracted to both sexes. It came as a surprise to her when her colleague at work drunkenly kissed her on the lips and that she wasn't disgusted by it. She always thought back in her straight days that Rachel was an exception and that she was straight as an arrow. But now she knew better and anyways she would not want to use labels.

While looking out to the street view of the restaurant, Quinn choked on her pie. There on the streets of all people, walked Rachel laden with shopping bags. Her hair was whipped around by the wind and Quinn thought that she looked absolutely breathtakingly beautiful. She did what she could only do and stared.

Rachel could feel that someone was watching her and instinctively looked through a restaurant's window.

"Quinn…" breathed out Rachel.

Rachel ran in the restaurant, bypassing the maître de and went straight to Quinn's table.

"QUINN!"

"What…" Rachel began. Quinn sat there with her mouth open and staring at Rachel. Rachel sat down at the table and there they sat, staring at each other for what seemed to be forever.

It was Quinn who blinked first and looked down at her now cold pie. Rachel remembered to breathe and strike the first conversation.

"Quinn, it's good to see you. How have you been?"

"I… uhmmm… I've been good. How are you?"

"I'm good. I'm living here now in New York."

"Oh… wow! Uhmmm.. you and Finn decide to move to New York then? Where do you live?"

"We've … parted ways. Quite a long time ago actually…"

Flashback; Rachel's POV:

After the kiss that fateful night Rachel felt uneasy. She went after Quinn and went to her house but Quinn's car was not at her house and Rachel did not know where else to go. She went back to her house and cleaned the kitchen.

With Finn gone for the night, Rachel found that she kept going over and over again on the kiss. Questions circled around in her head and she found that she was feeling things that she have not encountered before.

"What just happened? Why don't I feel disgusted? Granted I am not opposed to homosexuality, being born into a family of two gay dads and one of my close friends a gay man. Why do I feel like this? Why do I feel the need to go to Quinn and just see her face?"

All through that night Rachel replayed the scene in her head, all the while trying to make sense of it all. Trying to understand Quinn was like trying to take a deer from tiger cubs while their mother is watching.

Rachel sighed exasperated trying to sleep but to no avail.

The days after the event – Rachel now referring to Quinn's kiss as the event – Finn noticed that Rachel was more absent than present. Finn often caught Rachel washing the same dishes for a long time while having a faraway look on her face. When Finn asked Rachel what was going through her mind, she would always say things that would distract Finn from the question.

Day in, day out Rachel would go through her days like a robot. Even when Finn grew frustrated and they fought Rachel would just nod her head, never really focusing on the issue at hand. On top of things, Finn found that Rachel was more like her animated self when they talked about Quinn. Finn grew upset day by day and it felt like they were not newlyweds but a couple that tolerate each other.

Things keep on going against them and Finn finally gave up. Rachel gave up a long time ago and no one really understood why the couple even decided to marry at all.

When the divorce finally got through, Rachel found that she can now breathe easy. One day out of the blue Rachel decided to move to New York and live out her dream of becoming a Broadway star.

So she went and it was then that she was cast as one of the stars of Wicked on Broadway. Rachel thought that it was a start and thanked her dads for the apartment that they leased out for her. If not for the apartment Rachel was sure that she would be homeless.

Things went well for Rachel and she was now on the running to be the lead cast for Funny Girl, her dream role. Her dream was coming true but deep inside Rachel knew that there was something missing. Deep down Rachel knew that Quinn had something to do with the gaping hole in her heart.

Back to the present in the restaurant:

"Oh!"

It was a simple Oh uttered by Quinn that has so many underlying meanings. She could not say anything else. A lot of questions came rushing into her head but no sound came out. The two of them just keep staring into each other's eyes.

Quinn felt very uncomfortable and Rachel seemed to pick up on it and blurted out the first thing she thought of.

"I live in an apartment in Queens. Where do you live?"

"My apartment is in Queens too! You should come over!"

Quinn groaned inwardly at her own suggestion. Rachel seemed to light up when Quinn invited her over to her place.

"Okay let's go then! We can catch up there!"

Quinn followed Rachel like a lost puppy out of the restaurant after she paid her bill.

What in hell did I just do?