Out of it

There it was again. The guilt. It always came running back to him, constantly reminding him that it was his fault. It was always his fault. And today was no different. She was only trying to help. Only trying to make him feel better. It was his fault for yelling. Goddamnit, why was everything his fault?

Cloud sighed and tiredly rubbed his hand over his face. He was going to have to apologize this time. The look in Tifa's eyes was furious, and no doubt about that, the way she slammed the glass of water on his side table was enough to prove it. Cloud only wondered how the water had not spilled onto the wood. Tifa was rarely angry; only certain situations that seemed to have no solution frustrated her. Unfortunately for Cloud, he was one of those situations. And one would know, making Tifa angry was definitely not a smart choice. He gave a groan. Hehad to fix this. Now. Sighing once again, he pulled his twisted sheets and rolled off his bed, grabbing a shirt along the way.

Nervous as he was, he knew he had to say something. As he slowly descended down the stairs, Marlene and Denzel came into view, they were putting on their shoes.

"You'll be late you two, here take your lunch—Denzel! Now's not the time to be staring in space, you can do that when you get home, don't do it at school either!" Tifa scolded. "Marlene! Your hair! Did you not comb it today?"

Marlene touched her tangled hair and her eyes widened in horror. "Oh no! I forgot—HOW COULD I FORGET?! Ms. Dory will hate me! Tifaaa!" she wailed.

"Honey, it's okay! Here, I'll fix it for you in seconds; you won't even need a comb. And Ms.Dory can never hate you, she loves you!" assured Tifa as she wiped Marlene's tears and quickly fixed her hair.

Denzel snorted and mumbled, "Teacher's pet," but clamped his mouth shut at Tifa's intense glare. Denzel hastily turned to catch sight of Cloud as he reached the bottom step.

"Cloud!" he said happily. Marlene seemed to have calmed down from her shock for she too happily greeted Cloud.

HONK! HONK!

"Okay bus is here! Take care of each other!" Tifa hurriedly kissed both the children and gently pushed them through the door.

"Bye Tifa! Bye Cloud!" they waved.

"Be good." said Cloud.

"Yeah! We will!"

"Hey, Cloud!" called Denzel. "You'll be here when we get back, right?"

Cloud nodded.

Denzel grinned. "Ok—"

HONK!

"YOU'RE GOING TO MISS THE BUS!" hollered Tifa from the door. The kids quickened their pace and stepped onto the bus just in time. They both grinned from the window as the bus began to move.

"Bye! Have fun! Take care!" Tifa waved frantically. Cloud watched her from the corner of his eyes and couldn't help but smirk a little. It was a funny sight…seeing her motherly side, maybe even a little cute...

Though Cloud was mostly used to it, sometimes he would catch a glimpse of another Tifa. A Tifa he knew a long time ago, and it would suddenly occur to him that it was the same person all along. The kind smile, the sweet laugh, her bright attitude, it was all still there. And he liked it that way. She was one of the few things that reminded him that he really did exist, and that he really did have a childhood past. But boy, was he in for some trouble today!

Without even glancing towards him, Tifa swiftly turned around and left for the kitchen, leaving Cloud alone by the door. She hadn't bothered to talk to him, nor even acknowledge his existence since he came downstairs. Cloud slowly closed the door as he stepped back inside, letting his gaze fall on Tifa. Or her back, rather. She was making it even more difficult for him. Reluctantly, he took a few steps closer to stand by the corner of the kitchen. Taking a deep breath, he attacked the aching silence.

"Tifa…"

No reply.

She turned around, only to wash the glasses lying in the sink, still not sparing a glance at him. She began to wipe the glasses and set them onto the counter.

"Look…I'm sorry—"

"Why are you apologizing?" she cut in. "No. I completely understand, you don't need to say anything."

"No, you don't. And I have to say it."

"There isn't anything to say so it's okay."

"It's my fau—"

"No, it isn't."

Cloud wanted to kick something. She wouldn't let him say what he wanted to. Damn, why was she making it so difficult for him?

"Why won't you just listen to what I have to say?" he snapped. Tifa stopped wiping the glasses and threw the rag down.

"Listen? That's what I'm here for, right? I'm always here to listen but you never say anything!" she slammed the glass down. "And I'm tired of trying to listen because I can't hear anything! And now you want to talk? About what?!" she was practically yelling now. "About why you're so cranky most of the time? About the way you act around us? About how you're hardly ever home? Or maybe about what's going on in that head of yours?!"

There she said it. Let all the words come tumbling out. And hit Cloud like a ton of bricks. He really wanted to kick something now. Hard.

"You don't get it. You think you know everything!" he replied angrily.

"Yeah? Heck, I think I know that, Cloud! Why don't you tell me what's wrong, then? Maybe I'll get it and learn something new!"

"You won't understand." He bit out as he looked away.

"Why not?" demanded Tifa. "Maybe if you just tried to be a bit more co-operative. I can help you, Cloud! We can work it out, like we always did! Why can't you just open up a bit?" she pleaded.

"Look!" he growled. "I'm not the same damn person you knew! Okay? Things change…and I have too. You don't know me."

Tifa stared. Inside it burned. Those words clung to her throat, and it stung. It stung so much, the words made their way through to her heart, where she thought everything was finally coming together. But Cloud just had to swing his damn sword into everything.

"You're right…" she said quietly. "You have changed." She looked back to him with bright eyes. "But you can try to make it easier, can't you? Look at you! You think you're so alone in this world! Can't you open your eyes for once and see that we're right in front of you?! Waiting for you? Hoping that one day you'll open your heart and take us in? That maybe, just maybe, even if our blood's not the same, we can finally be family?"

"You always say this! Don't you think I know? I am trying, but you don't see what I see, you don't hear what I hear…you have no idea what I'm going through." He didn't want to argue. He was just so frustrated! "You don't know what it's like!"

Tifa couldn't take this any longer. There was no point in arguing like this, they were going in circles again. What was worse, she couldn't handle the hurt. She was afraid she'll break. No, I won't. I'm not weak.

"I don't have time for this." She briskly replied as she looked away. "I get your point, I won't try to help. Obviously because I can't, because I don't know how to and that's because I don't know you. Maybe I don't. And maybe you don't know me either."

Cloud couldn't take it either. But he didn't plant to stick around. He needed to get out. "Whatever." was all he said before he wrenched open the door, and banged it closed as he left the house. Within seconds, Fenrir could be heard for only a moment before it faded away once more.

Tifa dropped the rag to the floor again, and slowly, leaning against the wall, she slid down to her knees. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes, refusing to let the tears escape. She just won't let them.

"It's going to be okay," she whispered. "It's going to be okay…"

A/N: Hello's! So I had this piece sitting for quite a while, just thought I'd post it. Not sure when it took place, but seems likely for it to be before AC, I think. Though Denzel seems to be pretty healthy...ah well! Hope you liked it. Reviews are reaaallly appreciated. Thank You! :)