Author's Note: Way back in Season 3 there was an episode called "Love Runs Cold," where Danny and Lindsay were supposed to go on a date, she stands him up (despite "liking him…a lot"), and that's it between D&L for a time. I of course did not approve, and wrote this to get these two together. It's set right after the end of that episode. So it is VERY AU— it diverges from the actual D&L storyline as of the 3rd episode of the 3rd season.

Basically, what I'm saying is there are no spoilers & probably massive confusion regarding diverging timelines. There is also smut & profanity. Also not much 'plot'- it's mostly just a fluffy story.

I can assure you that while Chapter 1 wasn't the highlight of my writing career, by the end of the story people did seem to like it. So I'd ask you to give me a little leeway, if you don't mind!

(PS: Italics = inner monologue.)

Chapter 1:

Danny sat on a bench in the hall of the station, the last 10 minutes replaying in his mind over and over again…

Shit, not what I was expecting at all. Does she really like me- a lot? I mean, maybe she was just saying that to cushion the blow. That'd be something she'd do, she's such a sweetheart… No, I really don't see Montana as lying to me, even if it was to make me feel better. She might keep secrets but she doesn't flat out lie… no, there really must be something she needs to think about. Dammit. What kind of baggage keeps you out of a relationship? Oh god, what if she was raped in high school or something and so she doesn't date and here I am pushing her. Stupid STUPID Danny… You're a jackass. An insensitive jackass.He let out a loud sigh and buried his head in his hands as his train of thought continued down this self-flagellation track.

Lindsay saw him sitting there from her hiding spot around the corner. Monroe, look at the guy. He looks utterly dejected. The least you can do is give him an explanation.Although she really didn't want to have to face him, she felt too guilty not to. He looks like someone died- I had no idea that he'd take it so badly. Surely Danny Messer doesn't go to pieces over being rejected by a woman? I mean, he can have almost anybody he wants...Taking a deep breath, she braced herself and walked over to where he was sitting.

Danny looked up when she sat down next to him on the bench, but Lindsay couldn't bring herself to look at him yet. Instead, she stared intently at her hands, which were fidgeting in her lap. After a few awkward moments of silence, she finally blurted out, "Danny, why did you become a CSI?"

Danny blinked. Ok, really not what I thought she was going to say. Where did that come from?He stared confusedly for a moment at her, and then answered slowly. "I suppose I wanted to make up for some of the bad that my family does."

She nodded at his response to indicate she understood, but she still didn't look at him. Several more silent minutes passed. Finally, she breathed in and started to speak rapidly. "When I was a sophomore in college, there was this really cute senior who was chasing after me. He must have asked me out two dozen times or something. At first I thought he was just a sleazy upperclassman or something, and then later I was just too busy- I was majoring in chemistry and in this sorority. Anyway, he was really persistent. He kept asking me out, telling me once I got to know him I'd know we were meant to be together. After an entire semester, I finally caved and let him take me to dinner. I guess I was curious as to why he didn't give up or something… So he was right. As soon as I got to know him, I realized how great we he was. I fell in love with him on our first date, he told me later he'd fallen in love with me the first time he saw me. He said that fate wanted us to be together, and who were we to get in the way of fate?" She smiled at this memory- he'd jokingly told her it was very arrogant of her, as a mere mortal, to try and mess up the universe's plan. "We'd only been dating for 6 months, but things were pretty serious. Again, destiny, right? Then one day I got this phone call…" She stopped for a moment, her eyes glistening, her breath more rapid. "I thought it was Tom, because we were going away for the weekend on a skiing trip and I was waiting for him to pick me up. But it was the police, calling me to tell me that Tom had been killed." She stopped again, the tears now running down her face. Danny rummaged through his pockets, came up with a tissue, and silently handed it to her.

"I figured it had to have been an accident of some kind, right? But when I got to the station, they told me it wasn't an accident… he'd been attacked in the street on his way home from somewhere, his body left in an alley." She wanted to start crying but she knew if she did she'd never finish the story. Instead, she took a couple of deep breaths and continued. "They figured out that he'd been at the jewelry store, buying a diamond ring…" here she couldn't help but let out a tiny sob "and that some kids had followed him when he left the store. They jumped him and dragged him into the alley, and kicked him and stomped on him. They robbed him and left him there to die." Lindsay paused for few minutes and let the tears come. It was still so painful to think about. Danny winced at the sight of her in so much pain but didn't know what to do— considering the circumstances, it might be inappropriate to hug her. He awkwardly patted her on the knee, the kind of thing he'd do with Flack.

"They caught the kids and even though they'd already pawned the ring they could prove it was them from their shoe prints. I felt such a sense of relief in knowing that these monsters who had destroyed my happiness weren't going to hurt anyone else, so I decided that I wanted to do the same thing. I transferred schools and switched majors. I got a job in Montana right out of school, but after a few years I needed to get out of there. There were just too many painful memories and everywhere I looked I saw reminders of the life that Tom and I had planned… we were going to have a ranch, we were going to go skiing together every winter, that kind of thing. So when the job offer from New York came I jumped at the chance to get away from those memories." She cried for a few more minutes, and Danny started to slowly rub her shoulder. He really wanted to take her in his arms and whisper in her ear that everything was ok, but he knew he couldn't do that. Everything wasn't ok, for starters. She was clearly hurting. I wish I could take away your pain, Montana… I'd give my left leg to do it.

Lindsay's body was wracked with sobs- she couldn't hold it in any longer. Even though it was so many years ago, it still hurt so much. She finally turned and looked Danny in the face for the first time. "I know rationally that it's not my fault, but emotionally I still blame myself. If I'd never given in and gone out with Tom, he'd still be alive. We were only together for a couple of months and then he was dead. Gone forever. I haven't been in a serious relationship since then… I guess I'm afraid that if I let someone else get close to me they'll die, too." Her eyes dropped to her lap again. "Anyway, so that's why I can't be in a relationship with you Danny. I never really dealt with any of this; I just ignored it for years. But meeting you brought it all back up. I'm just not ready to be with you yet." She started to softly cry again

While Danny's heart was breaking for Lindsay and everything she'd gone through, he couldn't help but be happy at the sound of that one little word. Yet? Oh god, that hasgotto be the most beautiful word in the English language. I still have a chance. It might take a while but hell, she's worth the wait…

"Lindsay," he said, "I know what you mean when you say that you're afraid that people who are close to you are going to get hurt. And I completely understand that you need to be by yourself to work on this. But at least let me be your friend- I think I might be able to help. I'm kinda in a similar situation- sometimes I feel like Typhoid Danny. I mean, look at me- Louie, Aiden, even Stella and Flack. It's a crap feeling, thinking you're to blame for other people's suffering. But you gotta understand that it's not your fault. And it's not my fault. It's hard to believe but it's the truth. We aren't cursed, we're just unlucky…Maybe we both have really bad karma or something. Man, it KILLS me to see her like this. So whaddaya say, friends? I promise to not pressure you for anything more." Even though Ireally want more, Montana, you're worth waiting for.He held out his hand to her, and after a moment's hesitation, she accepted it. He smiled sadly at her for a few minutes, then stood up. "Ok, one of us should get back to work. You sit her for as long as you need, ok? I'll cover for you. Really, take your time. Is there anything else I can do for you?" She shook her head silently, and he reached down and squeezed her shoulder. "It's gonna be alright, kiddo. I'm here for you." Then he walked down the hall to his office, leaving Lindsay alone with her thoughts.

Later that night, Danny was lying on his bed, his mind still racing. Ok, Messer, time to come up with a game plan.Danny knew he was out of his element. Usually, he didn't have to put so much work into things with women. A few charming sentences and he was in, so to speak. But Lindsay was different. She liked him-a lot. He got that. She wasn't ready for a relationship. He got that too. But he was ready for a relationship. He certainly didn't get that. Figures! You're finally ready to settle down and the one you want to settle down with ISN'T ready. Talk about luck. But no more self-pity, Messer. She's the one suffering, she's the one who deserves the sympathy. You're going to be her friend and help her move past all this to the best of your ability. Better make tracks.