A/N- This will be coming to you in five parts (all pre-written), some of which are longer than others. This is Coulson's chapter.

Coulson's room was in the middle of the secret base, meaning he was nearest to the lab. He'd taken the most centrally located room for "tactical reasons". Everyone knew he just wanted to be closer to the rest of his team. Though he tried not to show it, Coulson was shaken up at everything that had transpired, especially to Fitzsimmons. Stupid. He'd been absolutely stupid to let them go search for the BUS alone. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but that's when they thought all of Hydra would be at their base. They would have needed all of the fighters there to allow Skye to sync up to a computer. He hadn't thought that they would move. And now Fitz was lying in a coma, all because of his stupid decision.

Three days after they'd arrived at the base, Coulson was lying awake in his bed, the bright green numbers on his clock informing him it was 2:14. It'd been nearly an hour since he'd awoken for no reason, and he was wrestling with the thoughts that kept him awake. They were mostly about Fitz. In an effort to get some sleep, he tried to convince himself he wasn't to blame for Fitz's state, it was Ward. If he wanted to be mad at someone, it should be Ward. Ward was the one that dropped them in the ocean. Ward should've been the one to make sure they were safe. Ward was at fault.

It didn't make him feel any better.

At 2:17, there was a crash on the other side of his wall. Coulson was out of bed at once, gun in his right hand as he made his way out into the hall. His bare feet were silent as they padded down the hallway, and he was thankful that his cloth sweatpants didn't swish as he walked. As he approached, he was surprised to find that the lab lights were on and the doors were open.

Peering inside, the lab seemed to be empty. No one walked between the lab tables and no experiments were bubbling over or sitting around. He was ready to turn off the lights and walk away when a brown ponytail popped up from behind a counter, messy and unkempt.

"Simmons?"

She turned around with a start, and Coulson watched as she nearly dropped the dustpan filled with glass she was holding. Her shoulders were tense and her eyes wide until she realized who had called out her name. Seeing Coulson, her shoulders relaxed and she let out a relieved sigh. "Sir, you startled me."

"What are you doing here?" Fitz and Simmons had been known to work in the lab until late into the night, but that was normally during a mission. The whole team was off the clock while Coulson worked on rebuilding S.H.I.E.L.D.

Simmons averted her eyes and moved to dump the glass into the proper disposal. "You mean in the lab? I am a scientist, sir." The joking tone and the weak smile she gave him didn't fool Coulson for a moment.

"I meant"-he glanced down at his watch-"at 2:19 in the morning."

"Oh, that." Simmons began to wander aimlessly around the lab, faking being busy to avoid Coulson's eyes. "I was just… running some tests and things. Time sensitive, you know."

"And where are these tests?" It seemed to Coulson that her improvisation skills had still not improved.

The counters were clear with the exception of some medical journals and empty equipment. Simmons' eyes swept over the entire lab before she answered, "The fridge, of course. Temperature sensitive as well." Picking up a random beaker, Simmons moved to a sink and began to clean the already spotless glass.

She was wearing the same clothes as the day before. Odd. And as he dwelled on it, he realized a lot of Simmons' behavior had been odd lately. She was normally the first one asleep, but lately she was the last to bed and the first to rise. "Simmons, when was the last time you slept?"

Her back turned to him, he could only see her slight pause in scrubbing before washing the beaker out again. "I was sleeping a couple of hours ago, sir," she replied in a shaky voice.

"You're wearing the same clothes."

Her scrubbing became harder. "Yes, well, I took a nap this afternoon."

Coulson's eyebrows pulled together. "Skye said you two went exploring the base. Simmons, if you aren't sleeping, you need to tell me. It's important that you get some rest."

"I can't!" Her words were accompanied by the shattering of glass in the sink. She slammed the water off before turning to Coulson. She was fighting back tears. "Everytime I close my eyes, I feel the water pounding into me. And I see Fitz standing in front of me, and he's smiling. Dammit, he's always smiling! Why couldn't he be upset about dying? He shouldn't have been happy to sacrifice himself for me. I didn't ask for that guilt. I tried to save him, but even that didn't work. You know what they say about people with oxygen deprivation? If they are in a coma for more than twelve hours, then they likely will never regain proper brain function-"

"-Simmons-"

"-and he's been in one for days. What if he never wakes up? Or he wakes up but remains in a permanent state of vegetation for the rest of his life. I couldn't live with myself."

"Simmons."

"I have to find a way to make this better. He's this way because of me. And if the roles were reversed, he wouldn't rest until I was better. So I can't rest. I can't rest until he's better. And I'm scared because I don't think I can fix it all by myself. We're supposed to fix things together, but now it's just me. And I can't let him end like this. Because how can I go on without him? How can I-"

"Jemma." His voice was soft but firm as he placed his hands on her shoulder. The tears were running freely down her face and Coulson watched them with sadness. She was just a kid, as May had pointed out so long ago. A kid who had grown up too fast, just like every other S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent before her.

He didn't have to wait long until she was clinging to him tightly in a hug, sobbing into his shoulder. "How? How, sir?" The question repeated over and over as Coulson held her tightly in his grip. He wasn't sure what she was asking about anymore. Maybe she didn't either. How could Fitz sacrifice himself? How could he leave her? How could she save him? How could she carry on if he doesn't?

Coulson didn't know the answers any better than her, so he just held her instead. His hand rubbed a soothing circle on her back.

"It's okay," he told her. It was a lie and nothing more, but it was all Coulson could offer her. "It's okay."

"No. No, it's not okay, Fitz."

Coulson didn't respond to the words. Simmons took a shaky gasp as she realized her mistake, and she pulled away from him. But, he noted, she didn't venture out of arm's length. Her face was a mix of embarrassment, confusion, and sorrow.

"I'm sorry, sir. I-I was..."

"You're tired, Simmons." Coulson offered her the buy out with a small smile. She accepted it with a nod. "Come on, let's get you some sleep. You'll feel better in the morning."

"Yes, sir." They walked out of the lab side by side, and Coulson was pleased to see the tears had slowed. As they passed the kitchen, Simmons asked, "Would you help me make some tea? It always helps me sleep."

"Of course."

They went inside, and Simmons immediately moved to fill the kettle with water. Coulson picked out chamomile tea from the cupboard and handed it to her. The silence between them as they sipped their drinks was comfortable and left both of them feeling more at peace than they had in days.

Coulson knew that he couldn't do anything for Fitz. He could regret and fume, but none of it would change his stupid decision. He could, however, make sure Simmons had some tea and got some rest.

That did make him feel better.

Thoughts?

-princessmelia