Quistis on a drunken rampage around garden
MISSION IMOSSPIBLE
Quistis was alone in her dorm when she decided that she needed a drink.
She opened her drawer and pulled out a black hat, jumper and trousers, and then started to change.
In Cid and Edea's room, Cid was setting up a high security system in his front room to protect his drinks cabinet.
Edea: Cid, darling why are you putting alarms on your drinks cabinet?
Cid: somebody keeps stealing my alcohol and it's going beyond a joke!
Cid hit a switch and lazar beams came out of the walls surrounding the drinks cabinet
Cid: hahahaha, I wanna see somebody try and get past this, the latest in home protection (laughing evilly)
Edea: lets just go to bed and forget about this.
Later that evening Quitis made her entrance, she hung from the ceiling lowering herself until she reached the drinks cabinet just above the lazar beams.
Quistis: if he paid me better I wouldn't be doing this! Bastard!
She looked on at the chains that covered the cabinet and the many padlocks.
Quistis: are they meant to stop me hahahaha
Quistis pushed the top of the drinks cabinet off without a problem
Quistis: what shall I have this week hmmmmmm I fancy some vodka.
DRINKING THE EVIDENCE
Quistis began the dirty work of getting pissed within 15 minutes the bottle was finished.
Quistis: I do believe that was my fastest consumption time yet!
Staggering to her wardrobe she some how managed to get herself changed in to the sexist dress in her wardrobe, a short silk dress.
Quistis staggered down the corridor to Irvine's room where he was innocently watching television.
Quistis jumped on top of Irvine who was lying on his bed.
Quistis: hi Irvy wanna good time baby! (In a sexy voice)
Irvine was shocked; as he knew this was very unlike Quistis but of course he wasn't bothered this was Quistis Trepe the women of every mans dreams in garden.
Irvine: it's not everyday I get an offer like that from such a beautiful women such as yourself
Quistis began ripping open Irvine's shirt
Irvine: stop I really shouldn't do this I love Selphie
Quistis: Irvine shut up your wasting time!
Irvine began to struggle but couldn't break lose from the drunken Instructor's gripe.
Irvine: HELP!! PLEASE SOMEBODY HELP!!!
Next-door Selphie was brushing Zell's hair ignoring the screams from next door.
Selphie: I was thinking I could maybe give you a different dye it red or
Something
Zell jumped up and moved away from Selphie and her hairbrush.
Zell: keep away from my hair!
Irvine: HELP! I'm being raped by a drunken sex crazed Quistis
Zell and Selphie heard this and started laughing
Zell: yeah very funny Irvine like Quistis would do that
Selphie: maybe we should just make sure he sounded pretty scared
Zell and Selphie walked next door to find Irvine tied to the bed naked and Quistis staggering around the room
Irvine: don't just stand their god dammit get this out of control bitch away from me
Selphie: Quistis what the hell are you playing at!
Quistis picked up what she believed was Irvine's gun
Quistis: shut the fuck up! And don't move!
Zell: er Quistis that's not a gun I dunno what it is but it ain't a gun
Zell passed Quistis the gun
Zell: remember when your not using the gun always have the safety hatch on
Irvine: Zell you dick head why'd did ya pass bitch the gun for!
Zell: what it's only Quistis?
Selphie kicked Zell in the stomach
Zell: ohhh, what did ya do that for!?
Selphie: Quistis has tied Irvine to the bed; she threatens to kill us and you
Pass her the bloody GUN!!
Zell: oh shit
Quistis held the gun at there heads as she tired to stand still
Quitis: go no good SeeD arses on the fucking floor!
Selphie and Zell knelt on the floor. Zell began taking his shoelace out of his boots.
Selphie: what the hell are you doing?
Zell: I got a cool idea; tie my shoelace on the bed across to the door Quistis
Trips over it and we get here sorry little ass!
Irvine: somebody help! She gonna rape me!. Hmmmmm, actually forget that
Quistis was sitting on top of Irvine, while Zell was sorting out his idea with the shoelace. Selphie jumped up.
Selphie: get your tartish hands off my man you drunken cow!
Selphie was now beyond mad and she threw a punch at Quistis, Quistis laughed and simply pushed the petit girl out of the way.
Zell: yo Sefie you alright?
The dorm door flew open and Rinoa came running in
Zell: Rinoa no! don't the rop….
Rinoa tripped over the rope and landed on top of Quistis
Rinoa: what the hell?
Quistis: Ms Heartilly how nice of you to join us (laughing evilly)
Rinoa stood up and smiled at Quistis happily
Rinoa: guess what! Today Squall and I our celebrating our 5 week
Anniversary!
Jealousy showed in Quistis eyes she wasn't impressed that Rinoa spoiled her chance with Squall and now she was interrupting her plan to rape all the males in Garden not that they would mind though.
Rinoa: isn't it great 5 weeks I'm so happy
Quistis began to turn red with anger and removed herself from Irvine
Rinoa: your starting to turn a funny colour are you alright?
By now it was too much for Quistis too take she clinched her fist and smacked Rinoa right in the mouth and her lip started to bleed. Rinoa was no match for the tall SeeD.
Rinoa: you bitch why'd ya do that?
Quistis laughed and moved next to the door ready to make her exit
Quistis: I'm done here now for my next target Squall Leonhart
Quistis ran out of the door leaving the Selphie and Zell on the floor Rinoa running around the room like a headless chicken and Irvine tied naked to the bed.
Rinoa: help my lips I'm gonna bleed to death some one help
Everyone was ignoring Rinoa's pleads and where un-tieing Irvine.
Selphie: it looks like she plans to rape all the men in garden, and Squall's her
Next target!
Irvine was now un-tied and was putting on his hat, Rinoa had calm down as was wondering why Quistis had just attacked her
Rinoa: what's with Quistis wrong time of the month or something?
Zell: she's drunk and going on a rampage around garden
Rinoa looked shocked and lifted up her short blue skirt revealing a metal pad locked pair of knickers.
Rinoa: she ain't ever gonna get me only Squall has the key to these!
The group looked on at Rinoa weirdly
Zell: why'd Quistis want to rape you? She only wants to rape men and besides we don't wanna know about yours and Squall's bedroom antics!
Irvine: I dunno sounds quite kinky
Selphie kicks Irvine in the leg
Irvine: ohhhhh, Sorrrrrry Sefie baby!
Selphie: yeah, any way we betta stop Quistis before it's too late. For the good of the garden male population! it's down to us to stop the drunken tart before she reaches her goal!!
Irvine: Selphie what the hell are ya goin on about, so she's gonna go around fucking every male in garden I don't see no harm in that, let's face it nearly every male in garden fancies her.
Selphie: have you finished yet?
Irvine: yes
Selphie: let's go and kick some Quisty butt!
Rinoa: why what has she done? (puzzled)
They all looked at her thinking how thick she is
Zell: is she for real?
Selphie: just shut up and follow or we're be here all night trying to explain
Selphie and the others left the room in search of Quistis. They entered the corridor and searched the rest of garden
Zell: where'd ya reckon she could be?
Selphie: well she's after Squall right?, so I reckon we should try Squall's room
The group where ever so glad that Selphie was smart.
They continued walking down the corridors Rinoa walking behind them still puzzled
Rinoa: so like I finally get it, Rinoa's gonna rape my boyfriend?
Irvine: yup, that's about right
Rinoa: oh right
It took another few minutes before it registered into her head that Quistis was gonna rape Squall
Rinoa: quick my Squall needs help!!!
She ran down the corridor the others followed.
Rinoa entered Squall's dorm to find him tied to his bed and the others soon followed her in
Rinoa: are you okay?
Squall: you should ask Quistis the same thing! Look what she's done she's
She's out of control
Selphie un-tied Squall, and Squall changed
Squall: erm, Irvine why are you naked?
Irvine looked down and realised he never got dressed the others started to laugh
Irvine: er, I guess I never got time to change
Zell: where'd Quistis go?
Squall: dunno she left about 5 minutes ago though
Irvine started laughing as he realised it didn't take Quistis very long to do it with Squall.
Selphie: what are ya laughing about?
Irvine: it must have took all of 5 minutes to rape you Squall, you don't last long
In the bedroom department do ya! (laughing)
Rinoa looked confused
Rinoa: I don't get it Irvine say it again
The group looked on that Rinoa's stupidity
Squall: hahaha very funny! Why don't you ask somebody that knows like Rinoa
Zell: Irvine don't or we're be here all day
Rinoa was still confused
Irvine: Rinoa when you and Squall have sex how long does it last
Irvine said it slowly and clearly so Rinoa could understand
Rinoa: well first we….
Zell: we don't wanna hear what ya do just for how long!
Irvine: you tell us what you want
Selphie kicked Irvine in the shine
Selphie: Irvine your such a perv!!
Rinoa ignored this and carried on thinking for the next 15 minutes. The others where all laying on the bed
Rinoa started to speak and they all jumped up
Zell: well?
Irvine: yeah come on!
Rinoa: I really can't remember
Squall: your telling me we've been sitting hear the last 15 minutes for nothing when there's a sex-crazed maniac on the loose!
Irvine: I've got an idea
Selphie: I think you should go find Quistis!
Zell: I wanna hear Irvine's idea!
Irvine: it's pretty simple really
Squall: carry on
Irvine: Squall and Rinoa have sex while we time ya outside
They all looked disgusted at the idea
Selphie: that's a sick idea!
Squall: if it proves Irvine wrong our do it!
Zell: whatever it don't bother me
Irvine: it's not like we're gonna have to wait around very long is it! (laughing)
Squall: that's it, come on Rinoa our show'em!
Selphie and Zell left the room but Irvine stood there and so Zell had to pull him outside
Irvine: I give'em 5 minutes
They waited in the corridor trying to ignore the sounds coming from inside Squall's dorm. Irvine looked at his watch 10 minutes
Irvine: any minute now
5 hours later Selphie and Zell where laying asleep on the floor and Irvine was pacing up and down the corridor.
Squall and Rinoa stepped out, Squall was extremely happy with himself.
Squall: how about that Irvine! 5 hours!
Rinoa: whys Zell lying naked?
They all looked down at Squall, Zell and Selphie stood
Selphie: god what time is it?
Zell: shit! She got me!
Rinoa: who got ya?
They all ignored Rinoa and where laughing and Zell as he was dressing himself
Selphie: she done that quitely you gotta admire the way she done it
Zell: you wouldn't be saying that if it were you!
Squall: so Irvine 5 hour even you couldn't last that long
Irvine: wanna bet!
Squall: you're on!
Irvine dragged Selphie in to Squall's dorm
Selphie: bloody hell Irvine this is getting out of hand!
An hour later Irvine stepped out ashamed of himself
Irvine: okay you won but only because Selphie had enough!
Selphie punched Irvine in the arm
Selphie: your such a liar!
They all laughed apart from Irvine who was rather pissed of
Selphie: look we should carry on our search for Quistis she's done 3 as
That we know about god knows how many are tied naked to beds
Out there
They carried on their journey through garden finding dozens of naked men on their way
Irvine: Quistis must have one hell of a sex drive
Squall: yeah, and I turned her down
Rinoa: what was that Squall?
Squall: damn it she understood!
Squall put his arm around Rinoa's shoulder
Squall: nothing darling nothing for you to worry about
Selphie: oh please. If we don't find Quistis soon I hate to think what could
Happen
Zell: yeah we gotta find her next victim before she gets there then we capture
her
They all stopped to think what she would do next when Rinoa came up with a smart idea, which doesn't happen very often.
Rinoa: CID!
Selphie: what was that Rinoa I could've sworn you used your brain for once
Rinoa: Cid, Cid's gotta be one of the only males she ain't done it with!
Zell: has she had a bang on the head or something?
Squall: now ya mention it she did when we where in the middle of it that's
Why we stopped normally we last about 10 hours
Irvine was in shock at the very thought of this
Selphie: Rinoa might have a point
Zell: yeah looks like that bang knocked some sense in to her
They all headed to Cid's office and waited for Quistis to show her face. They hid in dark corners of the room
Squall: Selphie, when Quistis comes in cast sleep on her and we can carry her
Dorm and lock her in
Selphie: good idea
An hour later Quistis showed up and Selphie crept up behind her and casted sleep on her
Zell: thank god that's over
Squall: yeah now hopefully coz she was so pissed she won't remember a thing
Selphie: Irvine picks up and carry to her dorm
Irvine swung her over his shoulder and carried her to her dorm and the others followed
Irvine laid Quistis on her bed; they left her room and locked the door behind them
Rinoa: that should hold her for the night
Rinoa was now clever as a result of the knock she received and everybody was happy.
THE AFTER EFFECT
The next day Squall and the others opened he door to Quistis's room to find Quistis sitting on her bed.
Quistis: hi guy's I gotta really bad headache
Irvine: I'm surprised that's the only thing aching
Zell elbowed Irvine in the stomach
Quistis: what do you mean by that?
Zell: he doesn't mean anything!
Quistis: and I can't remember a thing from last night what happened?
They looked at each other and wondered what to her
Selphie: you went to bed early with a bad headache that's all
Later that day the six of them where called to the headmasters office
Cid: this is a very disturbing matter for me so I decided to use the best
SeeD's in garden, you.
Squall: we understand how can we all help
Cid: well for the last few Friday's alcoholic substances have been taken from
My drinks cabinet
They all looked at each other as it registered that it was probably Quistis behind this
Selphie: why don't you stay up on Friday night and then you can capture
Them
Cid: it's Friday night I can't stay up on Friday night!
Irvine looked at him slightly puzzled
Irvine: why?
Cid: it's the night me and Edea ya know
Zell: oh right
Cid: so every Friday you take guard, they must be caught!
Irvine: once a week? You don't get a lot do ya sir
Cid: how dare you speak about my wife in that way!
Irvine: sorry I was just saying
THE LASTEST REVALATION
7 weeks later Quistis was sitting on Selphie's bed she had something to tell the other 5
Quistis: the thing is I'm pregnant and I don't know how as I haven't done it in other a year
The five looked at each other, as they knew what has happened
Quistis: and I was wondering what was going on
They all sat in silence
Quistis: I'm gonna be sick
She ran out to the toilet and it gave the others time to talk
Zell: shit!
Rinoa: any man in garden could be the father what do we do?
Squall: we gotta tell her the truth
Selphie: your right
Irvine: I could be the father?
Zell: or me
Squall: me too
Selphie: it's decided we tell her the truth!