13 years ago...
"Mommy, look!" the little girl said, her eyes lighting up as she pointed to a starfish near the shore, tugging her mother's hand along with her. Her mother had a contented smile painted on her face as she watches her daughter pick the starfish up in her little hands.
"It's just like my necklace!" she beamed while showing the starfish pendant on her necklace that her mother had given to her as a present.
"Did they fell out from the sky?" she asked and her mother smiled at her innocence. "Well maybe they did." she replied.
"It's pretty, isn't it?" Her mother had said, "You know, some people believed that starfishes were made to keep the travellers who used to sail over troubled waters safe." The little girl smiled up to her with a look of wonder in her eyes.
"Starfishes also have the power to heal themselves." Her mother added.
"I wish I can have that superpower too." the little girl said, giggling.
"If you ever feel scared, just think about your starfish and it will keep you safe no matter what. You are not that different. If you're ever hurt, don't worry my darling, you will heal too."
10 years ago...
Everyone is talking in hushed tones, almost like the sound of a quiet prayer. The sky is dull and grey, rain pouring down from it the same way it seemed to be from her dull, blue eyes.
Most of those who came were just people around the neighbourhood, people who knew her mother from work, and very few of her friends. Her mother was too nice, and far too beautiful but she didn't really had anyone to begin with. It had always been just the two of them. But not anymore.
She was so young then, and didn't understand the concept of death. She had been crying for her mother for days and now it's becoming more real to her that she isn't coming back ever again.
How can someone just be gone? she thought. A lot of questions are stirring in her mind and no answer can silence them. She stares forward, a piece of her heart being lowered deep beneath the earth. Her hand goes up to the starfish necklace her mother gave her.
'Don't worry my darling, you will heal too.'
She stayed rooted on the spot even when people started leaving. She didn't want to leave.
"Beatrice, honey, it's time to go." Tori said, crouching down to meet the eyes of the little girl.
"Where will I go?" She asks, her voice breaking. Tori's heart felt like it broke too. Natalie was one of her closest friends and now that she's gone, her little girl is scared and alone in this world, she would've just took Beatrice in herself. But Tori knew she deserved a better family. After all, she doesn't know the first thing about raising a child. All she knew is that no matter what, she will always be there to watch over and protect Beatrice.
"Don't worry, we'll figure it out."
Don't worry.
8 years ago...
"You little shit! Can't you do anything right? Hurry up and clean this up before David comes home because if he sees this mess you've made, you're going to wish you've never been born." Jeanine screams at her and dragged her down by her hair.
She had been so tired, and so hungry and haven't had a good night's sleep for the past few weeks.
She felt so helpless. She thought being adopted is better than being alone on the streets, but now she'd rather be the latter.
She thought Jeanine and David were good people. They came to the foster care in search of a child to take home and when they chose her, she thought that maybe, just maybe, she'd have the chance to be happy again after wallowing over her grief when she lost her mother. Her only family. But boy, was she wrong.
She kneels down and carefully picks up the pieces of glass that are shattered across the floor, slowly and carefully, as to not hurt herself.
"Be careful where you put your hands on, Beatrice. I don't want you to get hurt." for a moment her mother's voice rings in her head and it was enough to make her heart feel heavy.
But then she was too late. The front door had opened and he was there and in no time at all he was in front of her.
"What's this shit now?" He growled angrily at her face, his breath smelling like cigarettes and alcohol. It was disgusting and she tried to hold her breath but then he gripped her small arm and dragged her to the living room.
"You were to make sure everything gets done swiftly and efficiently. I fucking took you in and this is the thanks I get?! You useless piece of shit. You are just making things worse than it is already." David yells in his drunken state. Beatrice wondered if the neighbours could hear him, and maybe somehow they'll know something is wrong and will come to help her.
But nobody does.
David takes off his belt and she knew what was coming next. It terrified her to death, but she just stayed rooted and staring at the ground with tears streaming down her face as he raises his hand.
5 years ago... (warning: mature)
"You should come, Tris. You're my best friend, I would really love it if you were there." Christina said.
It was Christina's birthday. She had invited every single one of her friends, "girls only" for a sleepover party at her house.
Beatrice knew there is no way in hell Jeanine or David would allow her to go and she felt terrible about it. She wanted to experience what it's like to be a normal kid again, to spend time with her best friend, one that she hadn't seen for quite a while now.
They had been inseparable since they were little, their moms being friends as well but ever since Natalie was gone, it wasn't the same anymore. Nothing had been the same since.
She was so sad and angry. These were the things she had every right to do but she is instead caged inside this hell hole the Matthews call their home. No one else knows about what goes on inside their closed doors.
An idea popped into her head. "Maybe I can make it. I can just sneak out at night," She thought. It was impossible and she knew that if she were caught there would be terrible consequences to face. She was afraid but also longing to have even just a few moments of her normal life back.
She just had to make sure they were all sound asleep and slowly made her way out of the window of her small bedroom.
The next thing she knows is she's running and in no time, she's at the front doorstep of Christina's house, heart thumping in her chest. It was the best and worst thing she had ever done in her life.
She felt happy again among her friends, even just for a short while. Like she belonged, as if there was nothing wrong in her life, like she isn't slowly falling apart on the inside. She didn't want it to end.
Unfortunately she couldn't stay the night so Christina's mom drove her back, their house not that far from the Matthews. With apprehension, Beatrice thanked her and insisted for her to go on home after she dropped her off at the front door, telling her that she will be fine.
She climbed back through her window after Christina's mom had driven off and the small glimpse of happiness that she had was immediately extinguished the second she came back to the Matthews' house, in her small bedroom where David had been waiting for her.
She didn't have time to process all that he is saying. He is always drunk and sluggish but his face shows his livid expression. He wasn't yelling as he does usually. This time there was a dangerous tone in his voice that made her heart beat so fast she fears it might explode. She can't hear him over the ringing in her ears and the pounding in her chest.
He grabs her and throws her on her bed, pinning both of her arms above her head. She could feel his breath on her skin and the alcohol and cigarette smell hasn't faded away after all these years. The next thing she knows is that her clothes have been ripped off of her body as his hand muffles her screams. He lets her go for a few moments to undo his belt and she expect him to hit her with it again, but he doesn't.
She didn't have any time to react as he pulled down her leggings along with her underwear. By now she was screaming her head off, hot tears running down her face.
Help me, please. Somebody, help me.
The next she felt was the most painful thing, it felt like he was stabbing her to death, over and over again, she lost her voice now and she let herself be consumed by darkness.
page break*
"Tell me what happened." her mother said, kneeling in front of her from where she's sitting in the swing set in their favourite park.
Silent tears stream down her face and her mother reaches up to wipe them. "Some kids at school made fun of me. They said so many bad things and it hurt my feelings. Why are they so mean to me? I don't want to go there anymore, momma."
"Darling, there are always going to be people who will bring you down. There will always be some people who will hurt you so much that you think you can never be happy again.
It's ok to feel bad because they hurt you, it's only human. What matters most is that you keep going, do what's right and most importantly, never ever take revenge on someone who hurt you because it won't make things any better. Now, cheer up, my brave girl."
page break*
She feels as though she was floating, slowly, lightly, along an unseen river. The waters muffling every sound, her heartbeat is the only thing she can hear.
She tried to open her eyes and when she does, she is momentarily blinded the bright white light that is directly shining on her. For a brief moment, she wondered if she is dead, and that she is in heaven, engulfed only by brightness. And here, she can finally be reunited with her mother.
"Beatrice, honey, Can you hear me?" a muffled voice says.
She can't quite focus on her surroundings because of the fuzziness in her head like it was filled with cotton balls. She blinks a couple more times and see that she is in a room with white walls. It was a bit disorienting at first since her room had dark grey walls and especially when she sees the wires and tubes that are connected to her body.
"Beatrice, thank God you're awake." She turns to the owner of the voice and sees the person that she has not seen for quite some time. Tori, eyes filled with unshed tears sat down near her bedside.
page break*
Tori didn't understand why Stephanie was calling her in the middle of the night. But when she answered her phone, it was like everything came crashing down around her. Something bad had happened to Beatrice.
Stephanie had noticed something was up when she dropped off Beatrice to the Matthews' home. She sounded scared and worried even though she tried to act like it was nothing.
She knew that girl since she was just a little one and so when she drove away, she had that nagging feeling in her chest that something was definitely wrong with the way Beatrice was acting. She decided to turn back.
She was only a few yards away when she heard blood-curdling screams, coming from an open window in one of the bedrooms in the Matthews' home. Beatrice. She didn't waste time to call the cops. She also called Tori immediately, knowing that she would want to know if something like this happens to Beatrice.
She had no idea what kind of secrets the Matthews' have that are going to be uncovered.
David and his wife Jeanine were arrested for child abuse and molestation. They found Beatrice passed out in the bedroom with no clothes on, her body severely bruised. Tori was sobbing, with Stephanie holding her in a tight embrace as they wheel Beatrice in the ambulance.
She felt shattered. She could've stopped this from happening. If only she just took Beatrice in the first place, none of this would have happened. She felt like she had let Natalie down, by allowing her only daughter be scarred in the worst ways possible. Beatrice doesn't deserve this. She was far too young and this cruel family had killed her innocence.
"Forgive me, Natalie."
page break*
"Tori? What are you doing here? Where am I?" Beatrice asks, though her voice came out weaker than usual. Memories come flooding back to her and she started panicking, tears involuntarily stream from her eyes. "What happened to me?"
"Calm down, darling, you're in the hospital." Tori said with a lump in her throat and she explained what happened the previous night, how they found out that they were abusing her, she couldn't bring herself to say it to Beatrice. That she was raped. But the look in her eyes tells Tori that she already knows.
"I am so so sorry, Beatrice. I shouldn't have let you go with that family, I shouldn't have just let you stay with me." Tori cried as she embraced Beatrice who is shaking and in tears.
"No one will ever hurt you again."