This is a comedic one shot.
It is rated K+ for the overall theme.
Disclaimer: I claim to own nothing. Do with that information what you will.
The True Victor
Two girls stood near the entrance of their high school in a heated argument. Classes were over for the day and many had already left. But the duo didn't notice anything outside of the arena they had created.
"I'm tired of this you boy-child, we both know that Sesshomaru is dating me." The ruby eyed goddess argued. "Besides why play with driftwood when you can play in the waves?" She stuck her bosom out for extra emphasis as her eyes narrowed at the girl before her whose short temper was coming to a boil.
"I might not be as fat and squishy as you but I have known him forever, I know the real him and he really isn't dating you." The chocolate eyed girl huffed out trying to bite her tongue to no avail. "And even cottage cheese can ripple you whore!"
"You take that back you midget; I am saving myself for my honeymoon with Sesshomaru!"Kagura practically screamed her eyes darkening.
"Whatever Pillsbury Dough Girl! I hope your eggs rot!" Rin declared angrily.
"You cur! I hope you shrink two inches and have to wear a training bra for the rest of your life!" Kagura yelled into the shorter girl's face making sure to emphasize that to do it properly she had to bend down.
"You take that back Jabba the Hutt!" Rin responded poking the older girl in the chest.
"Little boy!"
"Old lady!"
"Runway!"
"Two ton man!"
"What are you two arguing about?" A deep voice called out interrupting their argument.
"See, he's here. Sesshomaru, tell her you're dating me." Kagura called out flipping a piece of hair from her face and giving him a breath taking smile.
"I've known you forever so date me instead of this shallow, squishy, Kirby look alike!" Rin whined up to him.
"Why I ought to…" Kagura started pulling a fan from behind her back. Sesshomaru frowned before stepping in between the feuding pair. He first turned to Kagura.
"Just because I took you to dinner once doesn't mean we are dating. It was for a class assignment…" Sesshomaru said as Kagura's face became crestfallen, behind his back Rin licked out her tongue and did a little victory dance which he caught her in the middle of as he turned to face her.
"And you Rin. You have been following me around since we were children. You can never be more to me than a sibling…"
"But…" Both girls began to mutter under their breaths.
"Oh Sesshomaru! I was looking for you, we are still on for tonight right? I've never been to the butterfly pavilion before…" Came a cheery voice from around the corner. Kagome Higurashi bounced on her heels and came to a screeching stop in front of Sesshomaru before planting a chaste kiss on his cheek.
"Of course…" He replied. Rin and Kagura's eyes went wide with shock and both of their mouths dropped practically to the ground as the silver haired youkai laced his fingers in Kagome's and turned to walk away. Kagome playfully looked over her shoulder and stuck her tongue out at both of them while pulling down one eye, for she would always be the true victor.
"Can we hate her?" Rin asked looking up at Kagura still a bit confused as to what had just happened.
"Yeah… let's do that."
AN: So this is a spoof of Yuule's parody called Just The Usual, it's short and sweet and won't take more than 2 minutes to read. Go get a laugh and review, people love reviews.
Anyway, I read it mere moments before I had to leave the house for work and it stuck with me. But I kept thinking, as much as I want Rin to win, there is a fandom that is far stronger that will always scream "Nay!" to my SessRin and "Nay!" to SessKagura (And they will give me weird looks when I mention that I now have a thing for InuRin but that is a tale for another day). And those are the SessKagome fans... They rival the canon InuKagome which is most impressive. And so I feel like in a true high school setting, when girls are fighting over Sesshomaru's heart, in a democratic fandom, Kagome will always win. Such is life.
That's just my spin. What's yours?