Basically I have a massive case of word block on Sweet Child so I picked up something that I'd half written a while ago, it's only two chapters and not long at all! Hopefully I'll get something going for Sweet Child soon!
In room number 206 at the Powdermill Hotel in New York, two still figures lay together on a soft queen sized bed, duvet rumpled at their feet, sharing a pillow. Light from the moon filtered in through the large window opposite the bed and lit up the room, so beautifully, in a way that an artificial light would never manage. The room was quiet save for two beating hearts and the exhales of the two men, still intimately joined as one.
Kurt Hummel stared blankly at the ceiling above him, his blue eyes following the plaster pattern on the white roof. His hair, that had been so delicately styled just that morning, was ruffled and stood out against the stark white of the bedspread. Taking large gulps of air the young man tried to calm his overexerted body down. He blinked several times before turning his head down to look at the sleeping man nestled in his arms. His calm face was buried against Kurt's bare chest, his eyes closed so serenely hiding the deep caramel orbs that always capture Kurt first, every time. He titled his head so that his chin was resting on top of his lovers curled hair as he listened to his steady breathing whilst he slept on, a small smile gracing his soft features almost illuminating his whole face.
Over a thousand and one thoughts raced through Kurt's mind, one making itself known above the rest. One he knew would eventually be resolved, once he had come clean about all the lies, the deception, the cheating. He curled the hand hidden beneath a pillow into fist, feeling the simple golden band he wore around one finger press against his other fingers. The feeling of it digging into his skin caused him to shut his eyes tightly, trying to block out the feeling. Adultery. That's what they call it, when you're married and you commit such a crime of sexual indiscretion, like he had. Like he was. Kurt couldn't even bare to think about the way Adam would react if he ever found out. He would be ashamed, humiliated and angry. He would hate the looks their friends gave them when he had to explain why his marriage had ended to them. Adam would hate him and why shouldn't he? Kurt had fought for his right to even be able to marry, he had marched and he had voted to be able to make the promise of forsaking all others for only Adam. Kurt hadn't kept his end of the deal, hadn't kept true to his vows. Adam should hate him because Kurt sure as hell did and even though a voice in his head was screaming and shouting at him, telling him what he was doing was wrong, a louder voice told him that he didn't care.
Kurt remembered when he and Adam were happy, before their lives had taken separate paths, before they became jaded and before he just stopped loving him… Before he had met his boy. It had just started out as a one night stand, something purely physical, but then it progressed into an affair, something that kept him from going completely insane, in the beginning, the fact that he truly loved Adam and his affair was just sex, just a release but it all changed the night he realised he wasn't in love with Adam anymore, that was the night Kurt's world fell apart.
Kurt opened his eyes after a few moments, turning his gaze back to the boy at his side, he lowered his head and softly kissed between the wild curls of his lover. God, he loved this boy. He loved him more than he could have ever even imagined loving his husband and that thought alone made Kurt's stomach twist. He knew he could never leave Adam, not even if he tried, and deep down he was sure that if Adam ever managed to find out what he had done and decided he would be able to forgive Kurt as long as he never saw Blaine again, Kurt still wouldn't be able to do it, he couldn't do it.
Blaine stirred in his sleep, snuggling farther into his chest and wrapping his muscular arms around Kurt's flat torso tightly as if he might disappear whilst he slept on. Blaine made a soft, almost inaudible sound, whispering to Kurt words that would always haunt him when he crawled into bed with Adam at the end of the next night. "Mm, love you."
And even though he knew better, even though he knew he shouldn't say it, he could never deny Blaine.
"I love you too."
The words hung in the air of the warm summer night, making it seem like it was harder to breathe, almost vacuuming the air out of the large room. When did life become so complicated? He had no idea how much longer he could keep living this huge lie conveniently disguised as his life… How was he supposed to go home and help Adam plan the monthly dinner that was supposed to be held at their house this time around, stuck in a loveless rut, when all he wanted so desperately was to stay here in this bland, yet quite expensive, hotel room wrapped up in the arms of the boy he loved more than anything in this life?
Slightly sitting up Kurt reached down and pulled the covers up over their nude bodies, pulling Blaine closer to him in the process. He was never close enough to sate Kurt's need for him, he was sure nothing ever could, although one fact always lingered in the back of his mind whenever he touched him.
Blaine deserved better.
He was a nineteen year old college student at NYU, he had friends, a family back home in Ohio and a queue of boys just lined up ready to knock down his door just for to chance of a date with him. Blaine had his whole life ahead of him. He didn't need to be wasting his time being the bit of the side to a twenty seven year old man, who should know better, who didn't have the balls to leave his husband for fear of what would happen. None of this was fair to him, nothing at all. He should be out, enjoying his life, exploring possibilities and just having fun. Kurt could never understand why Blaine would want to be stuck in this nameless hotel room making love with Kurt. That's what it was, right from the beginning. It was never just sex, no matter how hard Kurt tried to convince himself it was, it was always making love with Blaine.
Kurt knew he felt it when he left him in the morning. Blaine always felt the cold stab of jealousy driving into his heart, remaining there until he next saw him. What Kurt didn't know was that Blaine would sit in his lectures and constantly wonder what he was doing at that very minute. Was he at work? Was he in his study, locked away? Was he having sex with him? Some nights Blaine knew he would be right, even though he would never ask Kurt that, he could never find the right words, he never wanted to add to Kurt's guilt by letting him know just how jealous he was of his married life. He never wanted Kurt to know that every time when he woke up with Kurt, snuggled into his embrace, that Blaine feared he would suddenly realise that he didn't really love him, that he wanted to end their relationship and rebuild his marriage. He never wanted Kurt to know that every time he watched Kurt gather his clothes, getting ready to leave he wanted to beg him not to go home, to stay with him forever and not feel ashamed about what they were doing. He never wanted Kurt to know that he wished, every minute of every day, that he would just leave Adam and promise all his forever's to him and him alone. No, he would never tell Kurt that.
Now, as the clouds moved across the moon and the room became covered in darkness, shadows fell across the two lovers faces, Kurt finally gave into the feeling of fatigue that seemed to constant tug at his bones and, in the gentle embrace of his teenage lover, he found peace, love and life. He gave Blaine his heart and Blaine happily returned the sentiment. They were loved, completely and even though tomorrow would come, as it always did, and life would continue, the two figures that lie next to each other, sleeping soundly, had each other.