A/N:
Yasa: Here's our crack-fic for our newest favorite anime/manga, Soul Eater.
Yasu: YOU SHALL RESPECT SOUL EATER!!! Akatsuki, will you please do the honors?
AKATSUKI: (forced): Yasa and Yasu do not own Soul Eater… (TWITCH)
Yasu: Now, all that is left to say, is….
EAT SOCK!!!
(Oh, and enjoy.)
Yasa: …-eating your sock. :D
It was a peaceful, sock-filled day at the nameless academy, Shibusen. Where the students are certified to eat your soul. And socks.
And so, they ate and drank (socks) and were merry, The End.
(Claps and cheers.) This story was narrated by Excalibur.
ON, THEN!
"But that doesn't make se-" Poor Ox tried to interfere.
"FOOL!" But was cut off abruptly. "You do not interrupt the CRACK FIC!!!" He said as he munched on a sock.
…On, then.
..It…. WAS…. A peaceful day, that is, before… They woke up. Yep, that pretty much screws up the day. The sun was giggling and shining, and eating socks. A normal day -(or as close to 'normal' as it gets when your school life is so screwed up that you have to digest a creature that has digested other people using your friend.)- and Chrona was a new student at the academy.
Wait, what?
"CHRONA'S HERE!" Maka burst through the door, all shits and giggles this morning.
"You mean the beer?" Stein raised an eyebrow.
"NO, not CORONA, I said CHRONA!" She fumed. Indeed, the tall, lanky, pink-haired 'girl/boy?' stood, a sock clutched in her… his… it's hands. Let's just say her.
"…Well, then. Go take a seat, the vacant one by Death-The-Child's seat." He motioned to the seats.
"…You mean Kid?" Soul corrected, hanging from the ceiling, reaching for a sock on the chandelier.
"NO, CHILD! Who put that chandelier there?" He peered through his stitched-up glasses.
"AH DID!" Some western-sounding student yelled, obviously a second-hand unimportant character that we will now refer to a 'Random Extra #1'. Chrona timidly sat down next to Kid, twisting the sock in her hands nervously. He turned to her, preparing to greet her properly and then go into a whole welcoming speech all throughout class.
"…Hi." He waited for applause, nose proudly stuck in the air. One arm behind his back and the other in front of him, glowing by some light that seemed to be emanating from the chandelier. When he got no applause, he looked to her, puzzled and ready to demand an explanation, when…
He ceased, abruptly. His yellow eyes went wide, and his jaw dropped. Alarmed, Chrona scooted back a little.
"YOU'RE….YOU'RE… YOU'RE…" He tried to speak.
She somehow showed up behind him, and said in Edward Cullen's voice: "Say it. Say it out loud."
"…Vampire." Noticing his mistake, he shook his head with a "D'OH!" and looked to Chrona who was now next to him again.
"I mean- ASYMMETRICAL! YOUR BANGS ARE ASYMMETRICAL!" He screeched, standing up in front of the whole class, pointing at her so that his finger accidentally pushed her nose. She sniffed. He recoiled, a bit freaked out. To her, his finger smelled like... symmetry. It was weird. She had never smelled symmetry before, and wasn't sure if it was a good scent or bad one.
Suddenly, something blew up, so random not even the Authoresses could believe it. All the students ran to the window, pointing at the unidentified object in the sky that had imploded.
"It's a bird!" One unimportant student exclaimed.
"It's a plane!" Extra#2 challenged.
"… It's a sock." Stein corrected. There was a moment of silence, followed by panic. At the disco.
And then massive hysteria, hissy fits, other symptoms include: Diarrhea, vomiting, nausea and/or dizziness. But enough about Pepto Bismol. The chaos was caused by Team Rocket, from a completely different anime that never ends, every new season completed with it's own game- Emerald, Ruby, Pearl, Diamond, Sock, etc.
The students gathered outside to stare at the remains of the sock that had fallen from the sky, about the size of an airplane-bird. Not much of it survived the explosion… only linen… It appeared to have been a Pokemon sock. Yasa's sock, to be exact.
"IT'S A SIGN OF THE ACAHPALYPSE!!" One man mispronounced-screamed from the top of a building, flailing his arms as he jumped off and landed flatly in front of the students.
Crickets chirped.
"IT'S THE SECOND SIGN!!!" Killik screamed and pointed, as all the students began to yell and beat each other up and run. "I think this is a mosh pit…" Soul raised an eyebrow, having finally gotten down from the chandelier, shoving Maka back into a safe alley way as the people thrived.
The man who fell from the building moaned, rubbing his head and sitting up. Patty pointed at him, giggling and tugging at her sister's unnecessarily short tank top… and sock. Liz looked to him and shrieked, grabbing the nearest barrel and smashing it over the man's head repeatedly.
"DIE ZOMBIE, DIE!" She yelled. The man fell back and she stopped, panting.
Yes, we did just make a reference to Spongebob, thank you.
"….I'm still alive!" He groaned happily. "AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!" She screamed, now hitting him faster with a second barrel.
Death The Kid was trying to protect his suit from being ruined as he hid under the sock. He realized someone was grabbing his hand, and peered over at them.
Excalibur was sniffing his fingers, and then marveled: "It DOES smell like symmetry!"
Kid's brow twitched, before he punched Excalibur in the face , insulted. And as Excalibur flew away… he collided with another sock in the air.
The pilot of the sock was a young man named Steve. Poor Steve, struggling to maintain control of the sock, had finally gotten in a position where he could safely land the sock without problems, until… Excalibur hit the sock and it veered off course and out of control, crashing into the side of the school.
"IT'S THE THIRD SIGN!!!"
MEANWHILE….
Black Star and Tsubaki were running to report to Shinigami-Sama, on their way to explain to him what was happening and how the world as they knew it was coming to a rapid end, although he could already see it through his all-seeing mirror.
As they burst through the door, they never expected to see their principal singing into his hair brush to Beyonce's 'Single Ladies'.
As he shook his non-existent booty, he heard the sounds of Black Star having a Stroke. He whipped around to face his two students, staring at him as if he were a sleeping Hershey-hot-dog-smiley faced-whore.
And awkward silence ensued.
"…I'll give you 20 (insert currency here) to shut up about this." He bribed.
"Make it 40." Black Star revived.
"30."
"20 and a sock."
"Deal." Shinigami-Sama finalized. Black Star cried out in victory, as Tsubaki shook her head, wondering who had dropped him on his sock as a baby.
All of a sudden, a knock was heard.
"Who is it?" Shinigami-sama sang.
"I'm here to take over Shibusen!" A female voice yelled from the other side.
Shinigami-Sama sighed. "Yeah, you're not the first." He motioned to let her in.
A curly-black-haired witch flew through, riding a stocking. When she saw their faces, she pouted."W-What…You Don't think I'm serious about this…?"
"It- it's not that! It's just…"Tsubaki put her hands defensively in front of her. The witch began hyperventilating, tears and frosting welling up in her eyes. She began to make a sound that sounded vaguely like: "Ashushupa…"
"Who are you?" Black Star asked, trying to change the subject.
She sniffed- it smelled like symmetry, for some reason- and wiped her eyes. Some Kid named Kid had shown up, and maybe that was the smell.
"I'm A Witch Named Delilah!" She said, proudly.
"Delilah?" Kid confirmed.
"NO! I'm A Witch Named Delilah!" She corrected.
"…Yeah, that's what I said. Delilah."
"NOOO, A WITCH NAMED DELILAH- Altogether, like 'A Pimp Named Slickback'!" She yelled. A Boomer suddenly came in and vomited on them. "Oh, no!" "You've been vomited on by a Boomer!" "Watch out, Boomer Bile attracts the Horde!" a random narrator from a popular video game "Left4Dead" announced.
The authoresses simultaneously slapped themselves for personal reasons.
That was when a horde of zombie socks stormed into the room.
"LET'S PLAY SOME TETRIS MOTHER FUCKER." A robotically monotone voice came through a speaker.
"Oh no, we're surrounded!" Tsubaki yelled, holding a shotgun. Black Star was eating a bucket of black play-doh.
Wait…WHAT?
The authoresses returned nearly a year later, terminally confused.
And that's how Zetsu was born.
THANK YOU AND G'NIGHT, LOVE FROM MIAMI!! (Except if you're a flamer/troll. Then you get no love. Not even from your parents. They never loved you. You get a boot to the head. No sock for you.)
-Y&Y
Yasa: All of the above was written by Yasu. If you want to kill her, go ahead. :D
Yasu:….Party pooper….