AN: I know that those of you who like the pairing of Sora and Matt and love the fact that the show is going in that direction, but I'll always be the one rooting for Tai.

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Digimon or the characters.

Journal

Sora…that name.

Why does that name always make me feel weak in the knees?

Why does she have this affect on me?

I know why, because I love her, although she can't be expected to know that.

Hell I'm surprised that she has put up with me for this long.

I know that she probably felt something for me once, but not anymore.

I'm not really surprised, I never showed her that she was anything more to me than just my friend.

But that was all because I was afraid of what I felt.

I didn't know if these feelings were worth losing my best friend.

At first it was just a feeling of apprehension whenever I saw another guys look at her or talk to her.

I just rode it off as being my overprotective nature.

I'm always protective of my little sister and it only made sense that the same would be the case for my best friend.

But it didn't go away. It got worse.

Now it's not apprehension, now it's jealousy.

Every time I see her talk to some guy, I wish that it were me, I wish that I could have her all by myself.

But that's just selfish.

That's probably one of the reasons why she doesn't want me anymore.

I could see it in her eyes at the concert.

She looks at Matt with a shine in her eyes that I've never seen before.

When I saw that it was like my heart was being ripped to shreds.

That's why I stopped looking, I just couldn't bear knowing that she would be the thing that I could never hope to have.

I couldn't stand her looking at Matt, the way that I wish she would look at me.

Yet I know that I have no choice.

I know that there are two roads laid out before me.

I can either bury all the love that I feel and put on a farce so that she will be happy or I can be bitter and push both of them away.

The latter would make her sad and hate me.

I can stand it if she hated me, but not if she's sad.

I would rather see her in his arms and happy, then to have her not be with anyone and be sad.

I know that if she knew about all of this that she would try and make me happy and sacrifice her own heart.

She's just that kind of a loving person.

She would rather be unhappy then let someone else suffer.

And that is something I can't allow.

I can be the one to suffer because I should be the one.

I'm the one who pretended that there wasn't anything in my heart for her.

I'm the one who would be the green-eyed monster.

But I wont be the one to make her sad.

I would do anything to keep her happy, even if it means that I have to be alone.

I guess that's just my destiny, to never be able to have my love realized.

I would rather have only a part of her then none at all.

I will just watch her from afar, and protect her.

I love you Sora. Be happy.

Tai