The Asgardian sun was low in the sky, as a certain god of mischief sat in his chambers. He glanced out the window, seeing a glorious sunset, with beauty which he felt contrasted against himself, broken, and alone. Cold, and shunned.
The glow of the day's last light fell over him like a blanket, giving him warmth. He didn't feel he deserved that warmth. He didn't feel he deserved much of anything anymore. Even the tiniest comfort of the sun warming his skin, he felt unworthy of.
His face lay emotionless, though his eyes tell a completely different story. Pain. Eyes full of pain. The lovely blue-green color, a void of loneliness. He had tried to become something. He had tried to do something real with his life. He had tried to impress his father.. He had tried nearly everything.. But to no avail. It had gotten him nowhere, except under close surveillance, unable to leave his room without being accompanied.
Failure.
He was a prisoner in his own home, of sorts. He had tried to conquer Earth. The planet of his brother's lover.
Upon his failure, he had been brought back, muzzled and shackled, to Asgard. At the mercy of everyone, peers and those inferior to him, alike, he felt lower than ever. He no longer felt at all like a prince. He technically still was, but felt quite the opposite. He couldn't rule anyone now. He now felt completely alone, and so powerless.
He thought back.. Back to his childhood; his youth. When he and Thor did not have to pine for teir father's attention, his apporval, when things were simpler, not a care in the world. When Thor and himself would frolic about the palace, would catch fish in the palace's ponds, only to release them and see which swam away faster, would laugh and have fun together. As brothers should.
But, those days were gone. Things were different now.. Everyone had responsibility, had alot to deal with, had alot on their shoulders.
He and his brother had been on the verge of killing each other at least thrice now. they could no longer frolic and play as they used to. Life was no longer fun. Loki blamed himself, in a way, along with his father, and brother.
His father always favored Thor. Always. Loki hadn't found out the real reason, until recent events; until the war almost broke out once again against the frost giants; until he found out hewasone of them.
It explained alot. It explained why he always felt his father had looked right through him, and right to Thor.
He dropped his head to stare at his hands. They may not show it, but Joutenheim blood was running through him at the very moment. Coursing through his veins, as had always been, even before he knew of such.
He reallywasan outcast.
He scoffed at the thought. Outcast. At least he had reasons to be now. At least it wasn't unanswered.
He wished he could have known sooner, as to not feel used and unwanted. He wished he had known thetruth!
But, then again, did he really?
To ruin that childhood innocence even sooner? Could he really blame his father?
No, in a way, he couldn't. In a way, he was almost glad he didn't know sooner.
Almost.
And yet, at the same time.. he still blamed him. For being prouder of Thor; being prouder of him; paying more attention to him.. Attention. Something Loki always craved from his father, yet seldom got. A single, soft tear ran down his cheek. For the first time since he found out he was from the Frost Giants, he showed real emotion. Not just a front, fake ones.
No one was there to see him, so why not?
'Why, father?'he thought to himself.'Why?'
As the tear slipped off his cheek, and fell to the floor below him, he let a small chuckel come through his lips. Not a happy one, oh no. It was a defeated laugh, one that showed that he was truly broken. It would take a hell of a lot to fix him, too.
'This world.. These people.. Myself.. We really are all mad, aren't we?..'he thought, as he pushed himself up out of the chair he had been seated in near the window. With one last glance at the setting sun, he smiled sadly, before walking to his bed and lying down, pulling the covers over himself swiftly.
He allowed his eyes to flutter shut, as he rolled onto his side.
"Maybe tomorrow."he said, in a quiet voice, to no one in particular.
'Maybe tomorrow, I'll be able to make you proud, father..' He finished in his mind, before drifting off into sleep.
- The End.. but, not the end. C: -