The problem with integrating yourself into your research subjects' and their lives is that you grow attached. You can see their flaws and their strengths, you can see where they are going wrong and how to nudge them so that they get right. But you can't do that, it takes away from the value of your research. You can't want the best for them and not help them so it's best not to learn to like them.
You play a role, an unobtrusive role, that observes and records. Years of training and lesser assignments and yet this one stays with you. Luckily Reid was still objective enough about his work that he wasn't crying over his guilt of lying to them or wanting to inform everybody. He had a job to do and he was darn good at it.
But it had been a hard week, JJ was having parenting problems, balancing how much time society says she has to spend with her child and doing her job well. Prentiss' cat was ill. Morgan was being harassed by his mother for 'grandbabies' instead of her wanting him to live the life that made him happy. All of them had come to complain to him. They didn't really want advice just someone they knew would listen to them vent without judging.
Hotch noticing the mood of the team and done some administrative sneak work, aided by Rossi and Garcia, and the team had a pet friendly spa booked for the weekend as 'team-building', Will, Henry and Jack all secretly invited along too.
The team were super excited for it. Relaxing together, seeing their friends when they weren't stressed or trying to forget what they've seen. Reid found these ritual bonding sessions to be very informative, he also could do with a Swedish massage. The best massage he had ever had was one on planet that was completely submerged in water, they would take you down to a high pressure and then blow air on you. It cost a lot but it was worth it.
Everybody was joking and teasing each other. Morgan declared that he was going to make sure Reid found himself a woman, Prentiss too. Hey maybe Reid and Prentiss would choose the same woman and go for a threesome, or the same man, or the same both and they could have a foursome. Morgan was desperately trying to goad Prentiss, to prove he was wilder and had more kinky fun than her.
Although Prentiss was sensible and drew the line at a sexual relationship with a colleague, even if it was just causal, too messy, too much could go wrong and ruin with the team dynamic, putting them all at risk.
Reid just enjoyed watching them act so carefree and young. He knew that for humans what the team saw was brutal. He marvelled at their resilience. He was also quite smug, had the team known of his sexual exploits he would win kinkest member hands down, in one dimension he had won the 'Best Lover of the Year' awards in the emotional, physical, BDSM, and contortionist categories twelve years in a row.
But what Reid enjoyed most about being on Earth and working with the BAU was that he could be a massive 'troll'- he loved the internet as well, the amount of memes and rage comics that he had written and had become popular astounded him. "I don't think a foursome is even possible Morgan." Reid enjoyed the looks. He was messing with them and that they thought he could do a job that involved reading human behaviour and was one of the tops of the field and yet seem oblivious to sex, relationships, social norms, baffled him, it was partly while he was such a troll, he wanted to see how far he could get before someone called his bluff.
It was as they all were calling it a night and starting to head home to pack that Reid received a call, answering with the usual greetings Reid was shocked to hear a call back response. Pausing time Reid stood to attention and opened his holographic phone "Sir," he bowed. A short purple blob, who was the first non-Ducian to ever win the Hodobolofo and become Emperor. Emperor Jones bowed back, Jones had found that it never hurt to be polite, after all there was only one of him and nine to the power of seventy billion of everyone else.
"Doctor, we understand your need to research primitive law enforcement agencies and the impact they have on society at large, but we have a greater need for you to come back. Your specialist skills are required, do you have a way to extract yourself without causing attention? We are currently unsure as to whether you will be returning and as your studies aren't important enough for a temporal fix we are then unsure as to when you would return, if you do. We recommend you find a way to leave that will not have them trying to contact you and yet would give you an opportunity to return if you can. Doctor, we have a 510 with an 06."
Understanding the seriousness of the situation and the desperate need for him to return Reid informed the Emperor all would be fine. He would return in 100 hours battlefield and diplomacy ready. Sitting back down he paused to think. There hadn't been a war in over a thousand linear years. While there was always some fight in some dimension or time the Dovin Empire had kept a sense of peace. Many of those he would be fighting with would have no practical experience of war. It was going to be a pain. Especially when they realised he was a living legend. Crap-cakes, this was going to be annoying.
Having assessed the situation he restarting time and spoke into the phone as if nothing had happened. "Yes this is he," he paused, "no I'm sorry could you called back Monday morning. Thank you, goodbye". He turned to look at Morgan who had paid no attention to Reid's call. "Morgan" it took a throw of a pencil for him to look up, "Morgan I'm not feeling well." With that he stood up and fainted. Had he not been worried about the hoard of fangirls that would be in the army he would have hammed up his faint. But as was he just fell and landed with a loud thump.
Maybe it was cruel but having suspected that one day he might need a quick out Reid had planted the roots of various problems that could cause him to suddenly need to leave. Today he decided to play on the headaches. He was rushed to hospital were he was pronounced in a coma. It was easy work for Reid to then stop time and arrange a solid hologram to take his place, the parameters of a coma were easily imitated. The team would be worried and visit him at first, but soon they would see he was unchanging and give up. There would be a short heart break but they would get over it. And if Reid could return then he could just 'wake up' and carry on.
Everything was perfect.
Until he got home, where he was promptly informed that 510 had evolved into at 62.8 and the 06 had been upgraded to an 03.
There then followed 72 linear years of war.
Reid had been in his coma for six months when the weekly visits stopped. The team still loved him but they had to move on, there was no sign of him waking up. His place on the team had been filled by a woman from the Alabama office. She was fantastic, brilliant in fact, she was an expert on female serial killers and women that rape. The team held no grudges against her and she did the job well. She also had a thick southern twang that the team would often try to copy, the BAU were professionals there was no reason for her not to be welcomed in.
Yes, they missed Reid both as a co-worker and a friend but life goes on. Morgan started dating again, Garcia lavished affection on everyone else, Prentiss starting watching quirky movies with Hotch instead, and JJ hired a babysitter.
It was Rossi who found that his Reid shaped gap was the largest. They had gone on wine tours together, they could sit and discuss books and writing for hours, Reid's knowledge of old cases meant that Rossi felt Reid was an old colleague not a newer one. Rossi and Reid were friends, they would have been friends had they met outside of work, Rossi didn't find anyone to replace Reid in the same way the others had, for Reid was so unique and precious in his life, he grieved and accepted he'd never have a relationship like that again.
It was Rossi who visited Reid the most, it was Rossi the doctors approached about him being brain dead, the machines he was hooked up to being the only thing that kept him alive. It was Rossi who decided that maybe they should be turned off. He never spoke the team at large about it. Reid was gone and maybe it was time to make that official. The team would think he just died, they didn't need to know about Rossi's hand in it.
Reid had stopped time and found it fascinating to note that he was still capable of amusement. He was amused that Earth had yet to developed the technology to counteract time stopping. Basic technology. Oh dear, maybe Reid had spent too long with the Council of Lords of the Universe, they were pompous dickwads and Reid had to stop himself from stabbing them in the neck far too many times. But they did bake delicious little cakes, it was well worth dealing with them for yummy yummy cakes.
Strolling through the hospital, stopping in the restaurant, via the little shop to pick up a newspaper, Reid sat down to read and review all that his replacement hologram had recorded. As expected a lot of time was spent alone. The visit got lessened, again expected but interestingly about three months ago Rossi started visiting more, talking to him. Apparently he was there now.
Reid had come out of enough comas, natural and otherwise, and been a medical doctor long enough to be able to put on a decent show of awakening. Wandering up to his room he thanked his hologram, one day technology would rise up and it never hurt to be nice, and settled down into bed.
Human medicine is far to primitive it seemed that all the odds and ends he had to poke into himself were never ending. He restarted time and of course that was when his nose started to itch. Rossi was sitting by his side looking down into his hands, he was speaking to Reid. "This isn't what life is, Reid, you are, were, you were so much more and you're wasting away here. It hurts. Every time I think of you here in this bed with no one who loves you. Nurses and doctors are great people, but they didn't know you they don't care love you. You're here and you're cold and alone and we can't reach you. I can't reach you." Rossi paused and looked at Reid, he swallowed and slowly raised his hand and began to stroke Reid's hair, hesitantly at first but slowly becoming more and more confident.
"This is selfish of me, but if I let you go, if you die here, you'll be just as gone but you'll be flying with the angels Reid. Think of it, you in heaven with Galileo and Newton and Einstein and you can tell Freud off while dancing with Plato. When I'd look up into the sky I'd know you were one of those stars, shining on the world. You'd be able to look down and protect us from the unsubs. Reid in heaven you'll hear our prayers, here you're stuck. No more Reid. Spencer it's time."
Rossi gave him a brief kiss on the forehead he was going to call in doctors or leave Reid right at the very end, he would sit and watch his friend die.
Reid was deeply moved, he had no idea that Rossi felt so strongly for him. His own race had long ago discovered the mathematical formula of death. Death was now obsolete for them. The rest of universe wanted to know too but no one dying caused such damage to their social structure that they never shared the information.
They started to stagnant, they sterilised themselves to stop the never ending population growth. They fast ran out of resources, and unemployment rose to staggering levels. There was talk of becoming inter-galactic conquerors and evil overlords, but nobody could be bothered, with anything any more. To protect all other living beings, to ensure death survived they decided to cut themselves off and never interact with the universes at large again. They appointed the idiot who figured out the formula to go forth and be a guardian for all. That was only thirteen millenniums ago. Every fifty years or so Reid would sneak back to his home planet to visit with his husband and children. They missed him but enjoyed his stories, their society had stabilised and Reid's family started to campaign for the whole race to become proctors of the living and to allow Reid to come home.
Reid had forgotten that the BAU had no knowledge of this. For Rossi this was a sad and tragic moment where he set his friend free. Reid was pondering whether the man's heart would survive if Reid jumped up and shouted boo.
Deciding to be respectful, Rossi was a good man and Reid classed him a a worthwhile companion, he began to twitch his fingers. Rossi froze, not even daring to breathe. He let out a little whimper and Rossi jumped up shouting for doctors, nurses, medics, firemen, the president, anyone just come quick.
Rossi was pushed to the side and eventually ask to leave. After several hours of waiting a doctor informed him that Reid was wake, and he was a allowed a five minute visit.
Stomach full of butterflies and grinning like a mad man Rossi saw Reid awake. "David," his voice was croaky. Rossi let the emotions over run him, he hugged him, kissed his cheeks, and sobbed, he spoke in Italian and cried harder when Reid replied in the same.
The next day a work Rossi took the greatest pleasure explaining that Reid was awake. A week later Reid was out the hospital and staying with Hotch, he had won the coin toss. Rossi kept invading the house cooking pasta and teaching Jack how to play marbles.
Two months later Reid was back at work and had his own apartment again. This time he deicide to share, to keep an eye on humans up close and personal. He chose a lovely man named Doris, apparently while in the womb he kicked horrendously to any Doris Day song, his mother is a fit of gleeful vengeance named him thus. Reid suspected the man had changed his own name so that he would have an interesting first story to tell and would always be memorable. Reid had known Doris before he had left for war and he was pleasant amiable company. Doris was harmless and Reid became very fond of him. He was also fond of the money he saved and enjoyed trying new things with his new found disposable income.
Reid to get his job back needed his replacement gone, he felt a little mean but he couldn't be bothered to start again with a new group of people. So he implanted the winning lottery numbers into her head and with her winnings she left to become a deep sea explorer. Reid returned to observing, recording, and analysing.
It took only another year to finish his report and write up his findings. As he was so fond of the little band of humans he felt it was time to be honest. His research was done them so knowing the truth would no longer effect his work.
He entered he bullpen with his 'have-I-got-a-secret-for-you' smirk (on a little moon two galaxies, a hop and 50 billion years ago away, this same face meant 'yum-dude-that-was-awesome-you-are-the-most-epic-cook-ever-let-me-eat-it-of-you). Knowing that curiosity would be piqued Reid spent the time smirking, as he left at the end of the day, he invited everyone to Rossi's for a pasta party.
They weren't called out anywhere so come Saturday night all arrived at Rossi's. It was during chocolate cake and coffee that the Reid asked them a question. "What would you say if I told you that I'm a married with kids, that I haven't seen my family in nearly forty years now, that I'm considered a criminal for stopping death. That I was part of the crack team that killed God, I was then part of the think-tank who questioned if that was even possible. I single-handedly destroyed an army of mind controlled zombie ducks. I was at the beginning of time, hell I taught time how to run. Hypothetically what would you say if I were to ask you to come join me in space, to come and liberate the stars? They used to dance you know, but The Great Cannibal of HighsterRefva has imprisoned them, do you fancy it?"