Janet Evanovich owns most of these characters. I'm just borrowing them.

P.I. Plum

Ch1

My name is Stephanie Plum. I'm a Jersey Girl, born and raised in the Chambersburg section of Trenton. In the 'Burg, gender roles are clearly defined. Men go to work and provide for their families. Women stay home, keep a sparkling clean house, and raise their children to respect those same gender roles. I know, it's a bit archaic, but change comes slowly to this neighborhood. Things are changing, but not fast enough for me. I wouldn't exactly call myself a feminist, but the thought of being dependent on a man makes be break out in hives. I actually tried being married once. To say it didn't work out would be an understatement.

Since then, I've been earning my way, trying to make enough money to support me and Rex, my hamster roommate. I was a lingerie buyer for a while before I got laid off. When I got truly desperate, I blackmailed my cousin Vinnie into hiring me as a bounty hunter for his bail bonds business. I did that for a few years, with iffy success. My capture rate was great, but my capture skills were abysmal. Since I only went after the low bond skips, my paychecks were very small and not especially regular. To supplement my income during the dry spells, I also worked at Rangeman Security running searches and doing distractions.

My life changed for the better awhile back. My long-lost great-aunt, Elizabeth Price, died and left me her entire estate worth millions of dollars. I spent a year living in a small town in Illinois getting her house ready to sell and figuring out my life. Before I left, I broke it off forever with my on and off again boyfriend, Joe Morelli. I also told Ranger, the other man in my life, that I loved him and wanted a relationship with him. Ranger decided he was willing to give us a shot and things are still going well for us.

After I returned to Trenton, I bought a house. The fixer-upper is due to be complete this week. Even though I don't need to work ever again, I need something to do to keep from getting bored out of my mind. Sitting in an office all day is not my thing. I don't want to return to the bounty hunter game either, except for occasionally helping my friend Lula with a particularly wily skip.

Recently I had the brilliant idea to become a private investigator. This is the type of job that would allow me to enjoy solving puzzles, dig into people's private business and be nosy, hopefully without the physical danger of bounty hunting. Since my house renovation was nearing completion, I'd be moving out of my garage apartment and moving back into my house. My plan was to turn the apartment into my new office space. I've spent the past few weeks getting my license. Hector, a Rangeman employee, helped me choose the right computer and surveillance equipment. Ranger helped me figure out the best legal search programs to purchase. Mom, Grandma Mazur, Connie, and Mary Lou have been plugging my business in the 'Burg grapevine to give me some free advertising.

/

Stepping out of the shower after my morning run, I hear my cell phone ring. Quickly wrapping a towel around my head and another around my body, I dash out of the bathroom and rummage through my purse in search of the ringing phone. One of these days I really need to clean out my purse, I think, as I dig through empty tastycake wrappers, crumpled receipts, several tubes of lipstick, a pair of handcuffs, about ten pounds in loose change, and other miscellany. Finally my hand closes on the phone and I drag it out of the depths of my purse triumphantly. I answer on the last ring, not bothering to check the caller ID. "Hello?"

"Hey, Steph. It's Vinnie."

I wrinkle my nose in automatic disgust when I hear Vinnie's voice. Vinnie is my cousin from a diseased branch of the Plum family tree. He inspires no fuzzy family feelings. He's a slimy ferret-like man rumored to have had a romantic relationship with a duck. Since I no longer work for him as a bounty hunter, there is no reason for him to be calling me. "Vinnie," I state flatly. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this call?"

"Can it, Plum. I need your help."

"Gee, Vinnie, why would I help you? I don't work for you anymore."

"I hear you're starting up your P.I. business and I have business for you."

"I don't think I want to be involved in whatever business you have. I'm not loaning you money to pay off your bookie or to pay for extra sessions with Madame Zaretsky and her trained dog."

"Look, you owe me Steph. I gave you a job when no one else would. And you're family. I'll pay you, I swear."

I decide to hear him out. He is family and he does sound pretty desperate. "Okay, I'll listen. What do you need?"

"Not on the phone. Meet me," he demands and gives me a time and place. "Don't tell anyone about this, okay? No one can know."

"Not gonna happen, Vinnie. I tell Ranger or I'm not meeting you anywhere. I won't tell your wife or her dad though, if that's what you're really worried about."

"Thanks, Steph. Ranger knows how to keep his mouth shut. I'll see you later." Vinnie disconnects and I stare at the phone for a minute, lost in thought.

Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I make my way back to the bathroom to finish getting ready for the day. After working some gel through my hair, I decide to let it air dry. Two coats of mascara and a swipe of tinted lip gloss, and my beauty regimen for the day is complete. I dress in slim white capris, a cobalt blue cowl necked tank tunic, and flat bronze leather sandals. I finish the outfit with a hammered bronze metal chain belt over the tunic. I look pretty good, if I do say so myself. It's nice to be able to dress without worrying about if the outfit will be ruined by the end of the day.

I make my way over to my bed, intent on shoving all the stuff back in my purse so I can go. Looking at all the crap on my bed, I decide to take two minutes to clean out my purse rather than continue to lug around extra junk. I collect a recently emptied and rinsed glass jar out of the sink. The jar once contained an economy sized portion of olives. Since I eat a lot of olives, I tend to buy the biggest jar I can. I dump out all the loose change in the bottom of my purse. After picking out the loose pieces of lint, I fill the jar almost completely with change. I'll drop it off at the bank while I'm out and about today. By the time I tossed all the wrappers and receipts and put all the extra makeup back in my makeup basket in the bathroom, my purse was roomy and lightweight again. My wallet, phone, handcuffs, charged stun gun, tracker, panic button, nail file, multi-purpose tool, and the bare essentials in emergency makeup are the only things in my purse. Some women would say this was still too much stuff, but I like to be prepared.

I head down the stairs and climb into my Explorer. Before backing out of my garage, I send Ranger a text, asking if he could spare me a few minutes. I haven't seen him in a few days. Business has been booming and he's had several long days and late nights lately. I miss him a lot, but I knew that was part of the deal when we began our relationship. It wouldn't be fair for me to ask him to change how he operates just for me. It's enough to know that I'm in his life and that he spends almost all his free time with me. Ranger quickly sends me a text back saying that he has a client meeting in an hour, but he can see me before then. I motor out of the garage and head towards the Rangeman office on Haywood.

After parking in the garage, I take the elevator to the fifth floor, where Ranger's office is located. I wave and stop to say hi to a few of my Rangeman buddies, whom I like to call the Merry Men, before making my way down the hall to Ranger's office. I tap on the door and wait for Ranger's response. "Babe, come on in," he replies. I don't bother asking him how he knew it was me. Either he was using his super secret ESP abilities, or more likely someone in the control room let him know when I pulled in the garage.

"Hey Ranger, what's up?" I ask as I enter his office. He pushes his chair back from his desk and I walk around and sit sideways across his lap.

"Been busy, Babe," he responds as he leans in to give me a deep welcome kiss.

"Missed you, Batman," I mumble against his lips before diving back in for more.

"I know. I've missed you as well, Wonder Woman."

After coming back up for air, we rest our foreheads together and sit in silence for a minute. Silence isn't something I'm very good at, but Ranger calms me and I'm able to do the comfortable silence thing better with him than anyone else. Unfortunately, there isn't time for comfortable silence today. Ranger has to leave for a meeting soon, and I need to tell him about Vinnie's call before he leaves.

After I recount my conversation with my perverted cousin, Ranger's blank face settles into place. I jab his ribs lightly with my elbow. He's been doing better with the whole blank face thing around me, but sometimes he needs a little reminder. "I don't particularly trust Vinnie, Babe. I'll be in meetings for the rest of the afternoon so I can't go with you. I can see if I can get one of the guys to go with you."

I shook my head. "Nah, I have a tracker and a panic button. I should be okay, but I just wanted you to be aware of what's going on." Vinnie wanted to meet this afternoon at his little vacation house in Point Pleasant. I'd been there before, during the Slayer mess.

"Let the control room know where you'll be, just to give them a heads up in case you need help. Point Pleasant isn't exactly in range for a quick response time."

Safety concerns dealt with, I lean in to give Ranger a big smacking kiss before sliding off his lap. "I'll be careful, I promise. Have a good day, Ranger. Don't get shot!"

He smirks and replies, "Don't go crazy."

I have some time before I need to start my drive to Point Pleasant, so I decide to take my jar of coins by the bank. After the teller feeds it all into the coin sorter/counter, I am eighty-two dollars richer. Score! I decide to take my newfound wealth and go to Point Pleasant early, so I can play a few games on the boardwalk and eat some greasy fried food. I fritter away two hours and forty bucks on snacks and games before it's time to meet Vinnie. As I pull up to his house, he opens the door and looks both ways before gesticulating wildly at me. I take that to me mean he's impatient and wants me to hurry my ass up and get in the house.

Once in the house, Vinnie shuts the door behind me and locks it. I look him in his weaselly eyes and narrow my own eyes. "Alright, I'm here Vinnie. What do you need?"