He had gotten to work much earlier than normal, and found himself with time to make the perfect cup of coffee. Adding another small spoon of sugar, Dave mixed it with the community spoon and sipped at it. "Wonderful," he whispered and exited the coffee nook. As he began to make his way to his office something caught his eye and he looked towards the elevators. The doors opened and she stepped out. The first thing he noticed was the look on her face.
She looked scared, like a deer having somehow gotten lost in a maze and finding no way of escape. Dave felt his heart break in that moment and he swallowed another sip of coffee to keep himself from reaching out to Erin Strauss. There was no way she would accept his overture, not at a time like this. Instead, he stopped and watched her progress towards her office, out of his line of sight.
Shaking his head, he went up to his office and tried to concentrate on his work. He found that he had little focus, his mind constantly returning to Erin. She'd had a rough time lately, and he admired her for coming back at all. He pushed his chair back and stood, looking out over the bullpen. His team members were joking and laughing, as if they didn't realize Erin was back, was trying to return to normalcy.
"That's it, I have to go see her," he muttered and he opened his door. The others looked up at him and he half-smiled back, taking the stairs quickly before making his way out to the hall. Turning to the right, he covered the distance between them as fast as he could without getting out of breath.
Helen, her assistant, looked up at him, a quizzical look on her face. "Can I help you, Agent Rossi?" she said softly, staring him down.
"I need to see Erin. Is she with anyone right now?" Helen shook her head and he smiled widely at her. "Excellent." He went over to the door and was inside before she could say anything to stop him.
Looking around the room, he took in the fact that every blind was closed, keeping out the light and blocking out the watchful eyes of all who would enter the outer office. He heard Erin before he saw her and he turned his head to look at her, sitting on her couch, crying. He cleared his throat and she looked up at him, wiping her tears away hastily. "David, I didn't hear you come in."
He sat next to her and she sighed lightly. "How are you doing, Erin?"
"Oh, just peachy, can't you tell?"
He carefully let his arm come to rest around her shoulders and she surprised him by leaning into the embrace, resting her head against his chest. "You know you could never lie to me, Erin. So, spill. What has you crying this morning?"
"Everything." She stopped and took a deep breath. "Why did you come here?"
"I saw the lost look you had in your eyes this morning, babe." He heard her slight laugh at the endearment and rubbed her arm. "Is there anything I can do to help you out?"
"Kill Alan?" He shook his head. "Damn. Can I ask you to be a friendly face, then? I really need to have someone here who will just let me be and support me. I don't think I can do this on my own." She began to cry a little harder and he lifted his hand to press her head to his chest, stroking her hair as she poured out her emotions on his shirt. "Did you know he used my rehab stint as a way to get custody of our youngest? I mean, she is sixteen, she can make her own choices, but the judge felt it in her best interest to live with Alan."
"And she doesn't want to see you."
"None of them do. It sucks when you're a failure, David."
He leaned back and looked at her. "Erin Strauss, if you talk in such a defeated manner, nothing in your life will change. Tell me one thing in your life that does not make you a failure."
She tried to smile up at him, but her lips quivered too much. "I suppose not tasting a drop of alcohol in one hundred twenty days is not a failure."
"No, that takes amazing strength of will. I'm proud of you." This pulled a real smile from her and he reached up to rub his thumb across her cheek. "I bet you're feeling a little overwhelmed at being back without an old crutch to fall back on. I'm going to take its place, and be the crutch you can lean on. We'll get lost together, Erin."
"That sounds wonderful, it really does." She leaned into him once more, curling her hand in his shirt. "I feel a little like a fish out of water, being back after so long."
"Just try and make it through today. We could head out for supper at six."
"I would really like that, David."
He grinned and stood up. "I'll hold you to it, then. See you at six." He was surprised when she stood up and hugged him tightly. Hesitantly, he embraced her in return, rubbing her back softly. When she was ready, she released him and took a seat behind her desk, effectively dismissing him.
Whistling under his breath, he made his way back to the bullpen. Morgan motioned him over to Reid's desk and he ambled up, leaning against it. "So, did you hear that Strauss is finally back? I hope that this doesn't mean that everything goes to hell once again. It was so nice with her gone."
Dave felt his eyes narrow slightly as he looked at the younger man. "I'm glad that she's back. She needs to get her feet under her again. Now, is there a new case to brief today?"
JJ nodded, frowning at him. "Yeah, we picked up a consult for the Lincoln police department. Just let me round up Hotch and Garcia." He nodded and went up to his office, grabbing his iPad off the desk and staring out the window at the street below. Morgan knew what Erin had been through, so his casual disparagement was disheartening. A soft knock on his door had him turning around and he saw JJ standing there. "So, what's up with you this morning?"
"People just need to realize that Erin has been through a lot more than what shows here at work." She raised an eyebrow. "Look, I know none of you really like her, but she needs our support at a time like this. You can help me lead the team."
"Really, David? You want me to be kind to the woman who gave me up to the State Department?"
"Yes, Jen. You told us yourself that it was above her pay grade, and that was the truth. She was backed into a corner and with everything that was going on, she gave in to find some sense of stability."
JJ sighed and he knew he had won her over. "I did hear scuttlebutt that she and her husband had split." He nodded. "What about her kids? I know she has to have them, since she did seem concerned about how much time I spend away from Henry."
"He got custody." He saw her eyes darken slightly with pain and nodded at her.
"That sucks."
"I know. So, do you think that you can be kind, even to one such as her?" She nodded and he smiled. "Good, then let's get to that consultation."
Once more, Dave found it hard to concentrate as he listened to Penelope lay out the case. As the others discussed theories, he zoned out, wondering what Erin was doing at the moment. They worked all the way through lunch, and Anderson brought in an order from Jimmy John's for them. Finally, at three, they had a profile all squared away and he was able to escape back to his office.
His message light was blinking when he got back there and as he sat behind his desk, he pressed the play button, listening to Erin's voice spill out from the speaker. "Hi, Dave, I have a bit of a headache, so I'm heading home right now. I'll make us supper, if you still want to spend time with me. It should be ready about six. I hope this doesn't disappoint you. Let me know one way or the other, okay?"
She had hung up without even saying goodbye and that made him smile. Quickly, he looked up her number and dialed it. She picked up on the third ring. "Hello, beautiful. What are you making me for supper?"
"Dave! I thought I'd make us something simple, like a pot pie. Or did you have something else in mind?"
"Chicken pot pie sounds amazing at the moment, Erin."
"Good, because it's already almost put together. See you in a few hours." Once more, she hung up without preamble and he stared the phone. Chuckling, he got down to work for the few remaining hours left in his day and promptly at five, he stood up and turned out his lamp, exiting the room.
"Where are you headed off to so early?" He looked over at Hotch and shrugged.
"Don't you think you should be getting home, too? You did say that your date with Beth went great." Dave pointedly ignored the question he'd been asked and Hotch shrugged in return.
"She has some function at the museum tonight, and Jessica has Jack. We're training tomorrow morning, though, so I'm going to get a good night's sleep."
"Well, have fun with that. See you tomorrow." Dave went out to the elevator and pressed the button, waiting for it to come. Thankfully, Hotch didn't join him and he got on the elevator alone. By the time he reached his car, he found himself full of nervous energy. After starting his car, he turned up the radio to drown out his thoughts.
The porch light was on when he got to Erin's house. He parked in front of the garage door and took a deep breath. Before he was ready, the front door opened and she appeared, haloed by light. Smiling, he got out and went up to her. "You're a little early, the food won't be ready for another thirty minutes or so."
"I had to get out of that place." She led him inside and took his coat, hanging it on the tree next to the door. "We could talk until it's time to eat."
"I think I'd like that." She held out her hand to him, and he clasped it, letting her take him into the living room. They sat on a low couch and she once more surprised him by curling her legs under her body and leaning against him. "Today is day one hundred twenty."
It took him a moment to process what she meant. "That's wonderful, Erin. Four months is quite the achievement."
She brought her finger up to his lips. "No, we count by days. Anything more than a day is too long a time to think of, you know?" Slowly, he nodded. "Can I tell you a secret?"
"Of course you can. I'll even keep it for you."
She just rolled her eyes as she shook her head. "I do not miss my ex-husband nearly as much as I thought I would."
"I never missed ex-wife numbers two and three, either. It was like waking up from a very bad dream."
"That's good to know. I want to pick up where we left off, all those years ago."
Dave felt the air being sucked from his lungs as he leaned back to look at her. "What?"
"I was wrong to run away, back then. I let your reputation scare me off and I took the safe option in Alan. We're not supposed to begin relationships until we've made it a year sober, but I found that, when the cravings got too bad in rehab, I would think of you, and that would chase them away. I know this is sudden, and you probably want nothing to do with me after everything I've done to you and your team over the years. But Dave, I want to try to find what we had back then."
He felt his face relax into a stupid grin as he wrapped an arm around her waist. "Tabula rasa, Erin?"
"Totally. Well, except for the happy moments we had back then." She sighed softly and he pulled her close. "I cannot remember the last time I felt this free, Dave."
He rubbed her shoulder gently and she arched into the touch. "How long has it been since you had someone touch you?"
"Too long." The buzzer on the oven went off and they both released a frustrated breath. "But I want to know more about the you of today before we do any heavy petting."
"And I want to know more about the you of today, as well. I'm not quite the lothario I once was, Erin. If we're to make this work, I'm going to be a one woman man."
"And I'm going to be a one man woman." They stood and she stepped forward, hugging him tightly. "But I am still going to surprise you," she murmured before standing on her tiptoes and kissing him sweetly.
Laughing, he slung an arm around her waist and they went into the kitchen. Suddenly, his life had a sunnier outlook.