DISCLAMIER: I do not own anything in this story expect Paul Nagato. I don't know if 'Blue Rod Hotel' is real or not, if it is, I used it without permission. I am sorry. The characters, Naruto, and the Akatsuki all belong to Masashi Kishimoto. The mailman belongs to the mail company, and well Zetsu's puke belongs to Zetsu himself.

Chapter 1: The News

Sunday, May 3

7:30a.m.

Sasori and Deidara's Bedroom

"Deidara!!! Go downstairs and get the mail from the mail man before Zetsu eats him again!!!" Sasori yelled at his blonde partner who was lying on the bed.

"Why don't you danna, un?" Deidara asked, not bothering to look up at his elder.

"Can't you see that I am a very busy man?!?!" Sasori hissed under his breath as he put the screw driver down.

"Yeah, a very busy man that enjoys playing with dolls, un." Deidara teased.

"Shut up you brat." Sasori said getting up on his work bench and walking over to the door.

"AHHhhhh...." a voice came from downstairs, and slowly trailed off.

"Not again." Sasori sighed.

"Look's like we're not getting mail today, un." Deidara chuckled.

The two artists exchanged glances, and then both rushed down the stairs to the Akatsuki Main Door.

8:00a.m

Main Door

"Zetsu...un." said the blonde man.

"Just what are we going to do about you...?" Sasori said staring at the blood marks across the door.

"Sorry..." Zetsu said in a low growl.

"WHAT THE FUCK PEOPLE?!?! YOU FUCKING IDIOTS JUST FUCKED UP MY RITUAL!!!" Hidan shouted, stomped down on the stairs and nearly tripped on the last 2.

"Hidan, calm down before you get a heart attack." Kakuzu said following behind him.

"NO! FUCK! I WILL NOT CALM DOWN!!!" Hidan continued ranting. While Kakuzu just slowly walked away from this religious maniac towards the crime scene.

"So, I'm guessing this is the 9th mailman killed this week, yes?" Kakuzu said giving Zetsu disapproval eyes.

"Well, I can cough up the mail that were sent to us..." Zetsu quietly whispered, shuffling his feet around."

"Ew...un...I really don't want to see how the mail'll look like after Zetsu vomits it up, un. It must be all soggy and wet...and well...um and...porrigde-y...un." Deidara ended his sentence lamely.

"Where do you come up with all this crap?!?!" Sasori looked surprised and grossed out at once.

"Just cough it up Zetsu, I'm curious to see if my Mega Exclusive 200XGH96 Hair Gel was sent." Itachi muttered to Zetsu before taking a seat on the couch.

"Alright if you say so, oh and by the way, I don't remember eating a box...just some white pieces of paper." Zetsu replied.

"You mean mail?" Hidan said, finally calming down after getting a heart stroke, the 15th time today and yet it was 8a.m. in the morning. Keep it up Hidan! One more time and you'll beat the World's Record!

"BEYSDKFDFDFSDFSGVXCVGBTYDHDdsdafsfsdf...dfs..fsf.s...sdfs.....fd......df" Zetsu coughed up.

Due to the smell of Zetsu Puke, Deidara passed out, Sasori poked him with a chop stick, Itachi looked pained, Kakuzu began turning pale, and Hidan's eyes were blood-shot. Not long after the 5 Akatsuki members were covered in Zetsu puke. A few hours later they regained their consciousness.

"Woah..." Hidan said, "I think I just passed out for 2 hours...sweet." He finished off his sentence with a cheesy grin.

"That was disgusting...un..." Deidara moaned as he swiped off the dark green puke from his shoulder and felt some weight on his stomach. "AHH!!! TOBI!!! UN!!!" Deidara screamed as Tobi was close to his face, staring at him.

"Yes, sempai?" Tobi looked surprised.

"G-G-Ge-Get off of me Tobi, un!!! That's so nasty, you're covered in green...uh..stuff..un...! Yeah, your covered in green stuff, un!" Deidara shuttered while trying to push the heavy pumpkin face off of himself.

"Oh...sorry sempai...Tobi'll get off right now! Tobi's a good boy!" Tobi cheered while stepping off of Deidara.

"By the way...why are you covered in green...stuff, you weren't here before, un." Deidara asked Tobi.

"Well you see, yesterday the mail man was chibi, and you know Zetsu, he doesn't like chibis. So yeah he wasn't full and I came in on the wrong time so well yeah...Tobi got eaten by Zetsu." Tobi explained.

"I see...un." Deidara said. He looked around and saw Kisame helping Itachi up, Kakuzu trying to stop Hidan from swearing at puke (and there you go, the 16th heart stroke that day), Sasori was digging in the green pile of goo, picking up mail, Zetsu just stood there, blushing like mad, and there was Tobi staring at me like some sort of idiot.

Once things calmed down a bit.

10:15a.m.

Living Room

"Ok, Itachi-san, Sempai, Sempai, Sasori-san, Kakuzu-san, uh...Hidan-san...me..., Kisame-san, Itachi-san, me..., Orochimaru-san, OoO! Pein-sama..." Tobi said waving the letter around.

"You better give that to Pein-sama before he kills you." Itachi suggested.

"B-B-Bu-But! Tobi's scared...Pein-sama is scary in the morning..." Tobi whispered softly.

Deidara sighed, "I'll go with you Tobi, un."

"Really Sempai?!?! You'll really do that for Tobi?!?!" Tobi's emotions suddenly changed, and glomped Deidara.

"Don't push it Lollipop Face, un." Deidara said.

"HAI!!!" Tobi pranced down the halls.

10:30a.m

Outside Pein's Bedroom

"Ok, Tobi...just carefully slide it under the door...un." Deidara said pointing in a line of light underneath Pein's huge bedroom door.

"Yes, sempai." Tobi slide in underneath the door. "What now?"

"Now we run, un." Deidara said already running off.

"HEY SEMPAI!!! WAIT UP FOR TOBI!!!" Tobi ran after Deidara.

With all that loud yelling outside Pein's bedroom, the Leader was bound to wake up.

10:45a.m.

Inside Pein's Bedroom

"What the fuck...uh..." Pein muttered, getting up and walking up to the door to see who it was. When he got there, there was a white envelope sitting on the floor. He bent down and picked it up. Opened it up and read it slowly. Pein closed the envelope up and there was shock in his eyes.

"DAMN!!!" Pein yelled, his deep voice echoed off the walls.

11:00a.m

Living Room.

"What do you think happened?" Kisame asked with a big grin on his big blue face. (ok, that was kinda racist wasn't it?)

Itachi sighed. "Who knows."

Pein came charging into the room muttering something under his breath. Once he saw all the Akatsuki members sitting in the living room he made an announcement.

"Ahem, gentle-men, as you can see my brother-" Before Pein could finish his sentence he was interrupted.

"HOLY SHIT!!! SINCE WHEN DID YOU HAVE A BROTHER?!?!" Hidan bursted out.

"Ok, Hidan...I always had a brother, I always will have a brother, and this certain brother of mine is getting married in New York on Thursday." Pein finished off his sentence.

"And you are telling us this why...?" Sasori asked emotionlessly.

"Well, it says in the letter." Pein replied handing the redhead the letter.

Sasori accepted it and read aloud.

"Dear Pein-oniisan,

I have found a gorgeous young woman, past the last few months we've been getting to know each other a lot.
And finally we have decided that we are going to get married!
Isn't that exciting?
We are going to have the wedding in the "Blue Rod Hotel", Canada, Toronto, the one beside the Indian Chicken Restaurant.
It'll be on Thursday, May 7.
I hope you can make it.
Oh, and by the way, if this doesn't bother you.
May you bring those fine young gentle-men you teach to come as well?
It'll be a blast.
Please wear something formal, I don't wish to see 9 men walking around in big scary Akatsuki cloaks.
Last time during the 'Thanks Giving Dinner' you made a 7 year old girl choke on a drumstick.
And her parents weren't so pleased.

Best Wishes, Paul Nagato."

"Woah...talk about a cheesy letter, and he calls you Pein-oniisan!?!" Kisame bursted out laughing, and get jabbed in the ribs by Itachi's elbow.

"...Sorry...Itachi..." Kisame apologized. He received a sigh from the Uchiha.

"JUST HOW IN JASHIN'S NAME, DOES SOMEBODY CHOKE ON A DRUMSTICK?!?! IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?!?!" Hidan looked surprised.

"I believe the poor girl died after." Kakuzu said matter-a-factly. "Only 99.99999999% of the world's population can survive being choked on a drumstick. And when I mean by 99.99999999%, I only mean 'Hidan'."

"Che-" Was all Kakuzu got from Hidan.

"Oh...we're going to a wedding in Toronto, that's going to be so exciting, un." Deidara squealed.

"Yay! Tobi's a good boy!" Tobi squealed just like Deidara.

"This is going to be interesting." The puppeteer smirked.

Zetsu just gave a big smile, which was rarely scene.

"We will be leaving first thing tomorrow morning, 5:00a.m., so I command you all to go to sleep at 1:00p.m. in the afternoon. Pack up in the next 2 hours." Pein said pointing around like the infamous Tamaki Suou.

"And why is that...?" Hidan asked.

"Because I am the Emperor of Akatsuki, hahaha..." Pein said laughing crazily.

"He's lost it, un." Deidara sighed.

...To Be Continued...