Disclaimer: NCIS is not mine. I'm just borrowing the concepts and characters for a little while. No beta for this one…
Spoilers: 10.20 Chasing Ghosts
A/N: I'm not sure I'm happy with how this turned out, but then again I'm not overly thrilled with how Ziva and McGee treated Tony in that episode.
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When I heard McGee's voice coming from inside the apartment, I swear I could almost feel a knife being stabbed into my back. Though really it could have just been phantom pain from the last time my so-called teammates and friends 'neglected' to include me in their potentially life-altering, life-threatening plans.
Am I really that bad of an investigator? That bad of a friend? All I want to know is: why? Why was I left out of the loop – again?!
I realize that I'm not the only who wasn't invited into Ziva and McGee's little club, but it still makes me doubt whether or not my so-called teammates and friends trust me or not.
They are also not thinking very clearly if they think I'm the only one who suspects that Ziva is conducting her own manhunt; it seems everyone else on Team Gibbs either knows or suspects, and most likely that includes the Director as well.
And damn it, how could I have missed out on all the clues that McGee was helping Ziva? Tim had redirected every piece of evidence pointing to something going on with her back onto me. For days, the two of them had been leaving within minutes of each other and without ever waiting for me. McFibber had even said that his video game social was this week instead of next week like he'd told Abby.
As I walked into their hovel of an HQ, I was angry enough that it was taking a considerable amount of effort not to lose my temper with my teammates.
What am I doing there? Well, golly McFolly, I'm an investigator. Do you really think I'm so incapable that I wouldn't be able to find Ziva and, by extension, you? Granted, I did ask Abby to help track Ziva's cell phone, but that's only because you and Abs have more experience at doing that kind of thing than I do. It's not because I'm unable to work a computer.
And did I just hear that correctly? Waiting for the right time to tell me? What. The. Hell. The right time. Seriously?! Is there ever really a good time to tell someone that you're risking your careers and freedom on a mission to avenge a murdered father or a murdered innocent?
I've gone beyond angry and straight to irate or possibly incensed, and have to take a mental step back in order to keep my composure. I cover the action by taking a look around the shack-like apartment and throwing out a flip remark about their setup. Ziva's reaction to the comment is not unexpected, but still the bitchy attitude is uncalled for even given the circumstances. I've offered my help; I'm not going to take it back now, even if Ziva has once again shown her lack of trust in me.
Am I so unworthy of that trust? Does she think so little of my investigative skills? Or is she supposedly trying to protect me again, like when she recalled Gibbs back from Mexico instead of coming to me for help? Is she trying to protect McGee from the consequences of helping her?
I have no idea, and I don't really care right now. Despite this latest instance of being left out of the loop, I still consider these people to be my friends; of course I want to help. I'm not sure it's even possible for me to not help.
I just wish Ziva and Tim regarded me as highly as I do them. No matter. It's par for the course in my life.
Yet, despite their many flaws, this team is like family to me, and in order to keep it intact, I have no real choice but to accept what's happened and continue on like always.
What's one more betrayal amongst friends and family?
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The end.
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A/N: I was also not that happy with Tony for his apparent easy forgiveness of his teammates. What did you think of the episode?
Thanks for reading!