It was a Friday afternoon and the rift was quiet. Yesterday was Gwen's wedding and Ianto had never been so humiliated in all his life. That was the last straw as long as he was concerned. That day he let himself go, let his guard down, only to be used as a pawn in Jack's game. He plucked up the courage to dance with Jack in front of everyone, his colleges and Gwen's family and friends, and what did Jack do? Ignore him, it was as though he wasn't there. Sure he was there in the flesh, but Jack didn't both acknowledging him, he was too busy gazing at Gwen across the room. It hurt.
Ianto was never really open about anything with Torchwood, with his friends. Sure they suspected what was going on between him and The Captain, but it was never fully verbalised. He kept himself to himself. Made up a story about his dad so that questions wouldn't be asked, he didn't want to share that part of his childhood, but intrigue Jack's libido. To make him want him, and give him meaning again.
He watched as Jack strung him along, whilst flirting with Gwen and possibly sleeping with her. He wouldn't put it past them. He knew his relationship with Jack was based on sex, but that was how it started. Now he loved Jack, he yearned to be around him, and felt sick to the stomach when Jack came back from god knows where and told him specifically that he 'Came back' him, only to walk in on the same words repeated later, more intensely to Gwen.
He thought for a long while about what he wanted to do. Did Jack know that they were exclusive? Or was he just another notch on the bed post?. There were times when it had just been him and Jack and he felt like that's all there was, that Jack loved him and it was just them two against the world. But things changed. He no longer felt loved, he felt betrayed. He wanted to confront Jack, tell him how he made him feel, tell him he knew about his little rendezvous wit Gwen, he wanted to give him an ultimatum, but then he thought of all the things he had brought down on Jack. Lisa, and telling Gwen about FlatHolm, and he didn't know if he had the right to anymore.
Ianto stood at the coffee machine deep in thought. The coffee that he'd made had gone cold a long while ago, and he was so caught up he didn't realise that so much time had passed. He was pulled out of his daze by Gwen calling out goodbye and arms being snaked around his waist. He jumped and turned, knowing it was the captain, he knew his smell. 'Fifty First Century Pheromones' as Jack called them. He relaxed in his touch, leaning his head back to meet Jack's chest and Jack leaned down and kissed the back of his head.
"I missed you today" Jack said softly, still not letting go on the Welshman in his arms. "I was never gone" Ianto replied sullenly, not knowing if he should tell Jack about his thoughts or not, he was so comfortable in his arms he didn't want to ever break from them. Then he remember why he was supposed to resent Jack, and his body stiffened. Jack felt it and sighed, he kissed Ianto's cheek and said, "What's been up with you today? I hardly saw you, and I didn't get any prize-winning coffee since this morning" Jack told him, clearly knowing that Ianto was not his usual self. "I-Look Jack…actually, forget I said anything, where's Gwen gone, its only three o'clock?" Ianto bailed out, stopping himself when he caught their reflection in the clean metal of the coffee machine. "I sent her home early, I figured the rifts been quiet so there's no point her standing around, so I told her to go home to Rhys, I thought we could have a little time to ourselves, you know? Me, you, a bed?" Jack suggested with a smile, nuzzling his face into Ianto's neck. "I dunno" Ianto replied, not sure if he could go through with it, "I haven't seen your gorgeous body in too long, I think I may have forgotten how great it looks…how sexy you look when you writhe under me, how hot you make me feel when I'm inside of you, how connected we are…" Jack babbled, whispering into Ianto ear and biting the lobe.
Ianto could feel himself being drawn in, Jack made it sound so erotic that he found it hard to decline. "Jack I-I can't" Ianto stuttered, twisting in Jack's hold and meeting his eyes, "Why? What's wrong? Bored of me already?" Jack joked, half in serious and half trying to cover how wounded he felt that Ianto had turned him down. "No, no, it's not that, it just, I dunno…eurgh why is this so hard!" Ianto tried to say, but couldn't, he saw the momentary flash of upset in Jack's eyes when he turned him down. Jack laughed at the innuendo but Ianto just looked at him in anger, "Are you laughing at me?" Ianto said hearing his voice break and his eyes begin to heat up, "No, Ianto…" Jack tried before Ianto interrupting him. "You know what, screw this, I'm going home, I know when I'm not wanted!" Ianto huffed and turned on his heel.
Jack grabbed his arm. He didn't know what was up with Ianto and hated seeing him like this. He wanted to get to the bottom of it, but it was clear Ianto just wanted to forget all about it. "Ianto!, Please, wait!" he called out, watching Ianto struggle in his grip, "Why? So you can fuck me into silence again? I don't think so Jack" Ianto spat out, he needed to get out of there. "What? Ianto, when we are together, I don't force you into it, you come on your own accord" Jack tried to reason, "No! You manipulate me, with all your stupid pheromones and your little endearments, string me along when all the time your fucking Gwen behind my back!" Ianto finally said. "Is that what this is about?" Jack called out, a little peeved that he's gotten caught. "Yes Jack! Of course it is! Why? Have you got someone else on the go to? Someone else you claim to have come back for? Have you hurt them to?" Ianto ranted. "Ianto please, I can explain" Jack said with annoyance. He didn't know where to start.
"Go on then! Explain! Explain to me why you mad me believe that you loved me when all the time you were going with Gwen behind my back? Explain to me how you made me feel special when you knew that I wasn't the only one? Go on then!" Ianto shouted, he had tears threatening to fall from his eyes and couldn't take Jack's lies anymore. "Can't we just, talk about this tomorrow? Please? I just-I just want to hold you" Jack told him, infuriating Ianto even more. "No! You tell me right now or I'm gunna leave and we'll be finished Jack, I mean it! I can't do this anymore" Ianto said truthfully. Running his fingers through his hair in aggravation and wiping his eyes.
Jack walked closer to him, but Ianto walked backwards, not wanting to get any closer. He knew Jack had a strong effect on him, and he wouldn't be able to turn back once he was in his arms. Jack put his hands up in defeat, he edged closer and looked straight into Ianto's eyes. "Ianto, I love you. No one else. Just you. The thing with Gwen was stupid and selfless and I realise that now, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I hurt you, I'm sorry that I kept it from you, I just….I don't know, I wanted to know that I still had it, that I wasn't some boring guy who's settled down, that I could still have whoever I wanted, I know it was a stupid thing to do, and I know that now, I swear to you, I will never. Never. Do it again. Gwen means nothing. It's you who I love, it's you who I confide in, it's you who I think about every second of the day, it's you who I just wish I could pack everything in and settle down with, you do that to me Ianto, I love you. I know I don't say it enough, or ever. But I do." Jack explained, he couldn't lose Ianto. He depended on him too much, he loved him too much to let some stupid ego trip come between them.
Ianto listen intently. He didn't know whether to believe Jack anymore. He stared at him in shock, he just told him he loves him, he'd never been so open before. "Ianto? Say something? Please?" Jack begged, Ianto snapped his eyes up again to meet his, "I-I don't know what to say?" Ianto admitted, he hadn't thought it would play out like this, he had gone over it in his head a million times, and it always ended in him either leaving Torchwood and being Retconned or staying and ending things with Jack. Never had he once thought that Jack would say he loved him too.
"Then don't say anything, just…tell me you love me to?" Jack said, leaving the question hanging in the air. He was close to tears, he didn't know why this was effecting him so much. Ianto turned to him and smiled. Jack relaxed a little, Ianto was unpredictable at the best of times. "I love you Jack, I have always loved you, ever since I saw you I fell for you, I was just scared you wouldn't love me back" he told him with all the finesse he could muster. "I didn't want to tell you, I knew I'd done things that you'd hate me for, Gwen being one of them, and I knew if I told you, it would make it real. It would hurt more knowing that one day you will die, and I'll have to keep living, knowing I've lost the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I've lives a long, long time!" Jack admitted trying to lighten the situation.
"That you have, I think it's starting to show you know, you might be going crazy because you've just told me you love me, now I think anyone that knows you would be chocking on their beverages right about now" Ianto tried to joke, "Trust you to bring coffee into a serious conversation!" Jack laughed, watching Ianto's eyes soften, "Come here" Jack called out, letting Ianto decide whether he wanted to come closer or not. "Where are we going?" Ianto asked taking Jack's hand and following, "To the roof!" Jack exclaimed, "No were not! It's bloody freezing out there!" Ianto informed him, "Typical welsh, but that why I love you" Jack told him, bringing him closer and kissing him softly, full of passion, nothing like the kisses he and Ianto had shared before."So where do you suggest we go then? " Jack asked, holding Ianto's chin and fighting the urge to kiss him again. "Well, there's this little place behind your desk that would be perfect" Ianto smirked, Jack laughed, "To the Man-Whole it is!" Jack said, pulling Ianto along with him.
When they got down there they undressed in silence, got under the overs and just held each other. Jack lay behind Ianto, arms securely around him and face him his neck, his leg wrapped in between Ianto's and Ianto's hand on Jack's. "What? No sex? Are you sure you're not a shape shifter?" Ianto admitted playfully, liking the feeling of being wrapped up in Jack, "Nope, I just wanted to hold you, to show you that that's not all I want you for, not that the sex isn't mind blowing, mind you!" Jack spoke softly, tightening his arms around Ianto, "Mmm" Ianto said contently. After a while Jack said, "Ill prove it to you, tomorrow, I'll show you how much I love you" but by that point Ianto was sound asleep.
The next day Ianto didn't want to get out of bed, he'd be happy just laying with Jack for the rest of the day, but Torchwood stopped that. He yawned and stretched, turning over to see Jack fully awake, staring at him. "What?" Ianto asked, rubbing his face encase he had a hand mark on there from how he laid, "Nothing, just, you look beautiful" Jack smiled, rubbing his thumb affectionately along Ianto's jaw and kissing him softly. Ianto blushed, "Thank you, you don't look so bad yourself" he smiled, Jack playfully slapped his arse and said "Cheeky!" before bringing him in for a longer and more heart felt snog.
"Do we have to get up?" Ianto asked, leaning his head on Jack's chest and sighing, "Unfortunately yes, but I'll make it up to you later" Jack said in a suggestive tone. "Can't wait" Ianto laughed pecking Jack's chest whilst Jack ran his fingers through Ianto's hair. "Mmm, Well I better go and make so coffee otherwise well all be walking zombies for the rest of the day, and if you're really lucky, you can have some of the those chocolate wafer sticks you like" Ianto teased, "Ooh, aren't you spoiling me" Jack laughed, kissing Ianto one more time before Ianto got up and climbed up the ladder to go make meanwhile pulled out a computer on the side and frantically began searching for something he could buy Ianto that would show him that he cared for him.
It was later in the day and there had been a couple of rouge Weevil's to deal with, as well as a fair amount of space junk from the rift. Ianto was in the archives categorising it when he heard heavy foot falls approaching, that could only be Jack. "Didn't anyone tell you to pick your feet up when you walk? No wonder the tread is going on your boots!" Ianto told him informingly, Jack looked down at his boots and then creased his eyebrows looking puzzled, did he really walk like that?. "The puzzled expression suits you" Ianto smiled putting the eighteenth object away in its correct place, "And the hard concentrating look suits you, I love it when you roll your sleeves up like that" Jack said playing with the folded material that clung to Ianto's arms, "but you know what I love more?" Jack began again massaging Ianto's shoulders and feeling him relax with his touch. "Me naked?" Ianto said in mock seriousness, lifting his head to the side to look at Jack, "How did you guess!" Jack faked surprise, "Call it an educated guess".
Ianto put the artefact he was holding down gently and turned to Jack. "Was there anything you wanted? Or did you just come down here to distract me from working?" Ianto asked folding his arms and turning to face Jack. "Do I have to have a reason to come and see a very sexy Welshman in a dark and non-CCTV operated part of The Hub?" he asked him innocently, "Pfft, Yes" Ianto replied quirking an eyebrow, "Darn, you know me too well!" Jack said with mock annoyance, "I've brought you something" he began, catching Ianto's attention.
"Really?" Ianto asked in awe, Jack had never brought him anything before, apart from giving him that old stopwatch for their 'dabbling'. "Well, not brought, well kind of, but kind of not…" Jack went on confusing Ianto, "Jack, just show me" Ianto huffed, knowing that Jack's explanation was giving away no clues. "Impatient are we?" he joked before presenting the spoon that he had carved for Ianto. "Wha-is it what I think it is?" Ianto asked, shocked that Jack has known about Welsh LoveSpoons, but knowing him he probably Googled it. "Yup, it's a LoveSpoon. I found out that dashing young Welshmen, such as yourself, carve spoons and give them to their sweetheart as a token of their love…well not now-a-days, but I know you like tradition and old things…so" Jack explained.
Ianto smiled, took the spoon that Jack had carved. It was beautiful, it was smooth and had many weaves of intertwined wood with a 'I' and a 'J' etched into one of the bends. Ianto couldn't help but stare down at it, and then at Jack. "Your just a hopeless romantic really, aren't you?" Ianto told him not being able to wipe the smile off of his face, "I take it you like it then?" Jack asked walking closer to Ianto, "Like it? Jack, I love it! It must have taken you ages!" He told him knowing from a LoveSpoon carving class he took with Lisa a while back that it took forever to make one and his didn't look nearly as good as the one Jack had present him with. "About that, I kinda used an alien device to help me carve it-" Jack guiltily explained when Ianto cut him off, "I'm gunna pretend I didn't hear that" he smiled, putting the spoon aside and kissing Jack.
"If I'd have known that carving a spoon would have got me this much attention I would have done it a long time ago!" Jack exclaimed, "Shut up and kiss me!" Ianto instructed, bowing Jack's head down further so he could kiss him deeper. "Where's Gwen?" Ianto asked reluctantly pulling back from Jack, "Checking out a rift spike in Splott" Jack told him, knowing that when he was in the zone he never paid much attention to anything other than his work. "Man-Hole?" Ianto asked "Man-Hole!" Jack repeated in agreement, taking Ianto hand and leading them both giggling like girls to Jack's bed.