Feel your noise!

1/11: Comic relief doesn't suit me

When I slid open my bedroom door, I froze. My stuff was scattered all over the place. The table was turned over and magazines were scattered all over the place. Someone was sitting in front of my desktop, typing on a digital keyboard. The two desktop screens were the only source of light, so I couldn't see who that person was, but I could easily guess. I had been pretty quiet because Granny was sleeping downstairs, and I hoped the thief hadn't noticed me. Calling the police was not an option, I could easily get myself arrested for waking up a napping officer. The guy was absorbed in whatever he was doing, so I took the opportunity to analyze the situation. He was taller than me, but still pretty slim. He didn't look so strong, and I could surprise him. I had an advantage. Still, I could damage my desktop… whatever. I was pretty confident in my fighting skills. I clenched my fists and ran towards him. I had to aim at his neck. A low roundhouse kick or just a jump one? I didn't want to injure him to the point where I couldn't obtain any information.

"Welcom—"

I shifted my weight and kicked his neck. "Who are you?" I yelled. "What are you doing here?" Blood was rushing in my ears.

The guy fell on the floor, but recovered immediately, and put a hand on the side of his neck. He wore a hat and matching clothes, and several piercings shone on his face. He stared at me with slitted eyes. How could he possibly be OK? He should be choking or something!

His back was to me. I assumed an attack position and waited for an answer. He typed something on the keyboard with his free hand. "I don't understand the data here at all," he muttered in a deep voice. "What's this even supposed to mean? Even the Allmate remodeling here is complicated. Who the hell are you?"

"Who the hell are you?" I growled. Was he messing with Ren's backup data?

The man typed something more and all the windows in the screens closed. In the blue light of the screens I could see him better. I stared at him to memorize his face. Blonde hair, green eyes, pierced lips, weird clothes with cubes all over his pants. He grinned. Who was this weirdo? He stood and I took a step back, stomping on a magazine. "Hey, you. Don't you know who I am?" he asked, putting his hands in his pockets. Was he underestimating me?

"Stop fucking around and just tell me who you are and what you're doing in my room."

"I think you do know," he said, ignoring what I had said.

"I have no idea who you are. You have the wrong guy, here."

But he just looked into my eyes. "This time it's such an honor. What about having some fun together?"

Did he want to fight for real? I looked at him and realized something. The green pattern on his hat… rabbit heads. Same for the pin on his shirt pocket. Rabbit head..!

"Still don't know?" he asked. He pulled out of his pocket a key chain ringed with small rabbit heads. I frowned and he dropped the key chain. "It was a pretty entertaining setup, wasn't it?"

"So you were the Drive-Byer. And the home delivery…! You ordered from us." It made little sense, but the pieces were falling together. He was the one who dragged me into that Rhyme battle two days before.

"Yup. I found out that you're working there, so why bother? You could come to my place." What a weirdo. He even paid in advance… "By the way, when we were playing Rhyme, what did you do?"

"What?" He was making no sense. What did I do then? I blacked out and another random weirdo with a gas mask helped me to Heibon.

"Don't play dumb. I want to know how you defeated me."

"I have no idea, and that's not the point." I recalled gaining my energy back and ordering Ren to attack… but I thought I had lost the match, since I wasn't feeling like a winner. The day after I was still in pain.

"What?" He frowned and glared at me.

"I have no idea how I did that, whatever that stands for, since I don't remember it."

The man snorted. "So that's how you're trying to get out of it." He snapped at me, but I grabbed his wrist and deflected the attack. One second later, he grabbed my coat collar and lifted me. Damn it! He was stronger than he looked. "Force seems the more effective way with you. You still don't remember?"

I wrapped my legs around his waist and shifted my weight to the front, to unbalance him, but it wasn't being effective. "I don't remember," I growled, and I punched him. He let me go and I landed awkwardly on the floor. I immediately stepped back and felt the bed against the back of my legs. Crap! My room was too small for a real fight.

"Fight me in Rhyme one more time," he said without blinking.

"I don't know how to play Rhyme," I replied. Was he deaf or something? He drew back his fist, ready to punch, but I ducked to the right. The open door was behind my back.

"Then I'll destroy what's important to you." A grin appeared on his face. "Maybe then you'll remember."

I widened my eyes. What was he talking about? Ren?

"I know all about you." He glanced at the blue screens.

I clenched my fists. My heart was beating like crazy. I kind of missed the excitement of a fight. He was stronger than me, so I couldn't really do anything to stop him, but I could try. Or I could try to negotiate… "Why don't you actually listen to me?" I was getting more annoyed than angry. "I told you I don't remember. I blacked out before realizing I had won." I stared at him with my knees bent, ready to duck another punch. But he was really something else; he just pushed me aside and I fell with my back against the chair. That hurt! He sat on me, holding my arm. "Let go!" I yelled.

"Shut up." He twisted my arm and the cold pain made me gasp. "You can still play Rhyme with one hand." He grabbed my other wrist and held it against the floor. "If you don't want a broken arm, fight me." What the fuck did he think I was doing?!

"Urgh…" Pain was branching from my shoulder to my chest and arm, like needles piercing my muscles and my nerves.

"Aoba!"

I saw a red flash hit the man, but I was still pinned to the floor. "Koujaku!"

He held the grip of his katana with one hand. "You bastard!" he yelled at the man. "Let him go!" Koujaku grabbed the man's shirt and he let me go, before turning and hitting my friend with his elbow. Koujaku dragged him down to the floor with him. The man gripped his wrist and punched Koujaku in the face.

I stood and observed the situation for a few seconds. Koujaku was a skilled fighter, but he was struggling to hit the other man. His katana was under him and he couldn't pull it out of the sheath. I didn't want a murder to happen in my room. "Stop!" I yelled, "It's no use!"

They rolled against the wall and Koujaku got onto him. He put his hand on the katana, but the other man slipped on the side and kicked him in the lungs. "Gwah!"

Fuck. Koujaku was too weak compared to the man. "Asshole!" he screamed. He rolled against the bed and pulled out his katana. The man stood and hurled himself in the opposite direction, mercilessly stomping on my mouse.

"You brats are too noisy!" Another voice. Granny?! "Give me a break!" she yelled.

The man was distracted. Perfect. I jumped, aiming at his knees, and folded my arms around his legs.

Caught by surprise, he fell with me to the ground, and Koujaku touched his cheek with the blade. "Move and you're dead," he said.

"Good one," she whispered. "Everyone, downstairs! Right now!" she yelled.

Koujaku cocked his head toward the door, looking at the man. "You're the first one to go," he said.

I let the man go and he lifted himself from the floor. He walked to the door, followed by Koujaku. He sank the tip of his katana in the other's back, ready to slice him open. I followed Koujaku in silence.

"Aoba…" Granny called me while I was going down the stairs. "Did you leave the door open again?"

I sighed. "…yes?" I guess that man would have broken in anyway, door locked or not. Maybe the unlocked door had been a fortune—the gods only know what he could have done to Granny.

"Koujaku, let our guest sit in the kitchen, won't you?" she yelled.

"Yes Ma'am," was his prompt reply.

"Aoba, you come with me for a moment," she ordered. Koujaku guided the man into the kitchen with his sword, and I waited for Granny at the bottom of the stairs. She put her hands on her hips and blinked. Was it all right for her to move already?

"Does it still hurt?" I asked her. I wiped my forehead with my sleeve. I had already caught my breath. Not bad.

"Or course it does!" She glared at me, grimacing. "Tell me, who is that man with the hat?"

"I have no idea," I confessed. "He broke into my room, made a mess and did something to my desktop."

She crossed her arms. "Something else?" Her voice was low, now.

I hadn't told her that I was dragged into Rhyme, and since she had just had an accident, maybe it wasn't the best idea to make her worried. Still, she needed to know. I briefly reported what happened two days before and I told her about the man's questions.

She frowned and looked at me in the eyes. "Aoba. If something similar happens again, tell me immediately, all right?"

I nodded. "Do you know what it means, Granny?"

"…not yet." She walked to her room's door and got in, leaving me in the hallway.

I joined the others in the kitchen. The man was sitting on a chair. Koujaku was standing behind him, still poking him with his blade. "Koujaku," I called him. "Thank you."

He smiled. "No problem."

"Why were you here, anyway?" I asked.

"I wanted to ask you about Mizuki."

The man on the chair was still wearing his poker face. Was it OK for him to overhear the conversation? Well, it wasn't like it was a secret or anything. "I called him at work, when I got your message," I said. "He sounded fine, but… I don't know. He didn't sound like Mizuki at all. Did something happen to him?"

"I told you that he was acting weird, right? Dry Juice's members and Beni-shigure members have had some troubles."

How weird… I leaned against the kitchen wall.

"Mizuki has always stopped the fightings, but this time I had to intervene. He was just watching with a blank face." Yes, something was up with him. And then I asked him if he was alright, and he just ignored me and left."

"Yesterday I went to his shop and he told me he was concerned with all the recent disappearances of Rib teams," I told him.

Koujaku lowered his eyes. "I've heard that rumor, too…"

"Tsk." The man on the chair snorted. "Morphine."

"What?" Koujaku and I both asked.

"The mysterious disappearances… doesn't it sound like Ribsteez need something exciting to talk about among themselves?"

Koujaku pushed in the man's back. "What did you just say?"

"Doesn't it mean that you have to stop doing Rib if you're scared?" the man asked.

"You bastard…" Koujaku just had a cold glare in return. "What's your name?"

"How rude. It's good manners to give yours, first." He smirked. "Koujaku." He said my friend's name with the same tone reserved for a disgusting word.

"Do I have to remind you who's the one with a blade?"

"Don't get cocky, samurai," said the man. "You're still alive because your death is of no use to me."

"Calm down, you two." I didn't want a murder to happen in my kitchen as well. Fighting was kind of fun, pain aside, but killing was something else. I took the man's bandaged hand in mine and I shook it. "I'm Seragaki Aoba. You are..?"

"…Noiz." That sounded awfully like a nickname, and somehow I wasn't surprised.

"No one likes little shits like you," said Koujaku.

"Like I care," was Noiz's reply.

"Son of a bitch…"

"Enough. No blood in the kitchen, OK?" If Koujaku wanted to fight, he could do it outside.

He pushed the blade further into Noiz's back, then withdrew it. The tip was red with blood. "Come back to bother Aoba and you'll see what will happen to you. Understood?"

Noiz stood and, without looking back, just went outside the kitchen. He didn't even blink from the pain. I checked the hallway and saw him leaving. "What a weirdo…"

"I'm no good with guys like that who don't know how to compromise." Koujaku dropped into a chair. "And sorry for going nuts with him."

"No problem." I went to the fridge and opened it. I took out two cans of soda and gave one to him.

"What did he want from you?"

I opened my can and took a sip. "He was the Drive-Byer who dragged me in a Rhyme battle two days ago. I defeated him, but I have no idea why, and he wanted to know."

"What!" Koujaku snorted and opened his can, too. "What a loser. Such a mess for… oh." He blinked. "Isn't he in a Rhyme team?"

"Does Rhyme have teams, now?" It made sense, though. Ribsteez were leaving turf fighting for mental battles, but the benefits of a team were hard to leave behind.

"I think I've met him before. He's in Ruff Rabbit, if I'm not wrong. Next time I meet him I'm just gonna crush all his bones, little fucker…" Silence lasted for some minutes. "Well…" Koujaku threw the empty can in the bin and stood, straightening his kimono. "Gotta go. If you hear something from Mizuki call me, alright?"

I nodded. "See ya."

He walked out of the room. "Bye!"

That had been a pretty tough day.

I used some lines of the fan translation of DMMd, so if you spot some sentences you've already read in the game, they have been translated by those guys.
English is not my native language, but this first chapter was beta'd by Aya and user Rosamanelle :)