Disclaimer: I don't own the Vampire Diaries nor do I make any profit from this. Characters, etc. all belong to their respective owners.
A/N: So I was given the prompt, "Bonnie and Damon decorating a Christmas tree" on Tumblr and I basically turned it into one big Bamon banter-fest in which Damon is a total Grinch/Scrooge/Every Christmas-hating character ever.
This is completely AU, Bonnie and Damon already have an established relationship in this story and the events of this season so far did not happen because, in short, season 4 is horrible.
"This is stupid," Damon said for what felt like the hundredth time that day as he poured himself yet another drink.
"If I hear you complain one more time I'm going to make whatever few blood vessels are left in your brain pop until you drop," Bonnie said, exasperated. Damon had done nothing but whine ever since she arrived at the doorstep, dragging a pine tree behind her and demanding that go get the boxes of decorations that were in her car. He vaguely wondered how she managed to haul the tree the his house, considering her Prius was so tiny that not even tying it to the roof would suffice and then decided that she probably used some magic or something.
Originally, Bonnie had been planning on spending Christmas with Caroline and her mom since her dad wouldn't be making it home for Christmas (what else is new?) and Elena, Stefan, and Jeremy went to the lake house. Damon had told her that he could care less about being alone on Christmas because it wasn't like he really ever celebrated it anyway. Bonnie, on the other hand, loved Christmas and she was going to get Damon to stop being a Scrooge and have fun one way or another.
"Being unconscious would be better than you trying to force me to decorate this tree," Damon replied. He was not looking forward to vacuuming pine needles of his priceless Persian rug.
"Why are you such a Grinch?"
"Because there are much, much better things we could be doing…preferably NC-17 rated things that involved a bed," Damon replied, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. He didn't really want to get into how he had stopped celebrating Christmas after his mother died because that would just make Bonnie feel bad for dredging up that emotional pain.
"Nope. There will be absolutely no funny business until we are finished decorating this place for Christmas because we are going to have a nice, normal Christmas whether you like it or not, Scrooge," Bonnie told him, lifting her chin in that defiant way she did every time she had an argument with someone.
"Normal?" He repeated. "I don't think you can call a witch and a vampire attempting to decorate a Christmas tree normal. In fact, that sounds like the beginning of a really bad joke."
"Well, actually I'm the one decorating the tree because you refuse to do anything," Bonnie replied dryly, flicking some strands of tinsel at him. Damon scowled at her pulling off the tinsel that was clinging to his black shirt. "Could you at least put your Grinch persona on hold for like an hour and pretend that you're having fun?" she asked.
"I'll go get the eggnog then," Damon said standing up, ignoring Bonnie's muttering about how he is not going to get her drunk and the damn tree was going to get decorated and then the rest of the house so help her god. Something hanging from the doorway caught his eye, though, and he wondered just when she had put that up there. "What is that?" He asked, turning to Bonnie and pointing a finger up at the flower that was hanging from the doorway.
"Hmm?" Bonnie asked absentmindedly, pulling out more ornaments from her red storage box of doom. She glanced back at Damon to see what he was referring to. "That? Oh, that's just some Vervain."
"I can see that…why is there Vervain hanging up in my house?"
"I couldn't find any mistletoe anywhere, so I figured I'd make do with what we do have. And we happen to have a lot of Vervain."
Damon blinked at her. "You decided that hanging a poisonous flower up in my home was a better alternative?"
"No one ever said you had to touch it, dummy," Bonnie replied, rolling her eyes.
He really didn't know what to say to that, but he was definitely becoming wary of the mischievous grin that was starting to slowly spread across Bonnie's face.
"Besides," she said with that Cheshire smile, standing up and slowly making her way towards him. "You're standing underneath it and since it's supposed to be a substitute for mistletoe, you know what that means?"
"What?" Damon asked as she came to stand in front of him.
She pulled him down for a small, sweet kiss and then pulled back before he had the chance to deepen it, still smiling.
"Okay, well maybe this whole Christmas thing isn't so bad," he amended, wrapping an arm around her trim waist and pulling her flush up against him.
"Maybe?" Bonnie asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Mmhmm," he replied and pulled her in for a deeper kiss underneath that ridiculous substitute for mistletoe.
"Good," she said. "Because you need to put the topper on the tree," she said, breaking out of his grasp and turning back towards the brightly decorated tree.
Damon sighed and went to do as he was told. Maybe if he finally started playing nice, Bonnie would play very, very nice. Besides, it has been a while since he last celebrated Christmas.
A/N: You guys can be expecting at least one more Christmas-esque one-shot from me before Christmas (it won't be a Bamon one, though, sorry), but I hope your holidays (no matter what you celebrate) will be/are fantastic :)
Thanks for any reviews, favorites, etc.!