So, yeah, I'm [your name], but everyone just calls me stuff like "the human" and occasionally "Chara" these days. And yeah, I am still stuck in this cruddy monster mountain together with a bunch of fools who have no idea how to have fun at all. Seriously. The best they can come up with is a song contest?
I wish I was kidding. And not only just that, but there are some strict rules to it. Something about your song not being able to be more than three minutes and about the whole voting system, where it goes from 12 to 1 points, but skips 11 and 9 for no apparent reason. Yeah, whatever, I can totally get my song within these limits. Not that I'd ever want it to be judged in front of every single monster living next door.
But it seems that I have no choice. My ever-loving goat mom, Toriel, also happens to be the host this year, due to winning last year, and she coerced me into writing this song. Granted, it still speaks a lot about murder and how I wish that everyone in this god-forsaken mountain was dead, but that didn't frighten her in the slightest and she wrote it into the roster as whatever number.
And so, the fateful day came. The fateful day when everyone stopped murdering each other or whatever it is they did during their free time, just to stop, smell the roses and sing some songs. The fateful day when-oh my goat goddess, it's Toriel.
"Hello, everyone, and welcome to the XXth annual Undervision Song Contest! Today, the acts we've prepared the whole year finally come to fruition and baa baa baa baa baa."
Well, of course she didn't say "baa baa baa baa baa", but that is about how much I heard. And that is about how much I heard of everyone's performance, up until my turn came, just after... Undying? What is wrong with everyone's names in this realm?
At any rate, yeah. My turn came, and obviously I sang my song.
Have a bit of a backstory on my song. As you know, I have been leading a happily terrible life in Snowed In or something, and all the monsters were just annoyingly friendly and made me wish I could kill them. But of course, nothing is simple here, and Toriel was able to make me all nice and smiling.
Not everywhere, though. Deep inside, I still had this idea that everyone would put up an epic fight against me, and I would defeat them, one by one. Then I probably would revive them all and tackle them all at once. Or something. I still hadn't worked out the details, except that I knew that Sans, while being the most goofy skeleton bro around, would also be the most dangerous foe, and I would hit him last.
(Speaking of Sans; apparently he decided that it was good enough for him to sing "EA WA DEH A DU DU WA DU WA" repeatedly, and that gave him ovations from pretty much everyone but Papyrus. Ah, the neverending fun with skeleton bros.)
Therefore, my song naturally played up this dream of mine, where the entire town is bowing to my terrifying DETERMINATION, before dying. Singing it was one of the few things that actually made me happy for twisted reasons.
And guess what? It went over everyone's heads. They still kept cheering me for being the only human in this realm and for being creative or whatever, and when I walked back to the "green room" which is not green at all, giving room for... "Megatron" or something, my expression stuck back to the "smile" that means literally nothing these days.
And so, I waited again, until Toriel suddenly walked up to me and asked me to deliver the votes.
You heard it right. Since we can't get an audience that isn't also the performers, we just vote for each other. But you can't vote for yourself. For some reason. I have no idea about the intricacies of this contest, but that's a rule.
"Okay, so? I just say that the first place goes to Sans, because I actually remember his song, and-"
"Oh no, my child, you will probably have to get a pen and write it down. You have to list ten people, after all. Here, I brought this one for you."
I begrudgingly took the pen from Toriel and began writing on this piece of paper that she actually had prepared for the occasion. I noted my own name down where it's supposed to be, and then wrote on the empty lines:
1. Sans
"I'm sorry, my child, but the first place is actually the one that gets twelve points. Then it goes to ten and so on."
"Okay, but then why is 12 at the bottom?" I said as I crossed the name at the top and wrote it again at the bottom.
"Because we're announcing it that way. No more questions. You know the rules, my child; no voting for yourself."
"As if I contributed anything to this contest." I scoffed and began writing in this reverse order. Since I knew nothing about the performances other than those of myself and Sans, I figured that I would just write the names I'm familiar with in whatever order. Something like this: (except you have to read it from bottom to top now, because everything's reversed and I don't even know which order is "original" anymore)
12. Sans
10. Papyrus
8. Asriel
7. Toriel
6. Asgore
5. Undying
4. Megatron
3. Alphas
2. Temmee
1. Moffat
"There. Have your stupid list."
"Oh no, my child, you will have to present it yourself." Toriel had her typical demeanor.
"I don't even know half the names of this godforsaken mountain! I can't even remember which one "Moffat" is-"
"It's Muffet." The spider chick right next to me spoke. So she's the spider chick. Good to know.
Anyway, so now that I had my votes, it was time for another waiting game. The first one to present was my supposed sibling who could in no way be my sibling as I'm a human and he's a monster, and he gave points to everyone until he got to 12 and then he was like:
"And twelve points go to... Chara! Only for you, true Dreemurr child."
"Wow. Thanks." I responded.
And then it went from person to person, and it seemed that I always ended up in pretty much everyone's lists. Seriously. Do you love me that much that you are completely oblivious to my hate?
(Well, except for my turn, since I can't vote for myself, and I can't vote anyway so Toriel just announced my scores for me.)
Anyway, all the votes were tallied up, and my worst fears were confirmed. I was at the very top with some hundreds of points, while Sans, despite his being a true work of art that struck my heart, only was pushed forward by my 12 and ended up some six or seven places away from the bottom. Therefore, I performed my song again, being only happy for the song's content and not that I won, and everyone separated.
Just before everyone left, though, I neatly folded my voting and put it in Sans's hoodie. Then, apparently he framed it on his wall.
What a dork.
So, yeah, I'm [your name], and I guess that there is no reason for anyone to call me anything anymore. And yes, since it has been a year since the last... what was it? Oh, "Undervision Song Contest". And since I won, I should be hosting.
But I am not.
Because I-
No, we murdered every single monster who could be a participant.
And we even went so far as to erase the entire world in which they existed.
But you know who was actually responsible for everyone's deaths?
You.
You monster.