Disclaimer: This fan fiction has nothing to do with continuity of the Little House books, or Ms. Wilder's real life, or the Beyond the Prairie movies. It follows the continuity of the TV show only. I do not own Little House On The Prairie or it's characters. I do own this story. Do I make money of this story? Nope! Please don't sue. Besides, you wouldn't get anything anyways.

Rating: PG

Spoilers: Look back to yesterday

Summary: Charles Ingalls watches Albert slowly die.

The Ones Left Behind by PeaceJaw

I've lost one son before and now I'm losing another one. Life can be so cruel. How many children do I have to lose before I'm an old man? Why does this have to happen to my family again? What did we do to receive so much unhappiness?

Now that Albert and I are back in Walnut Grove, he has decided that this is where he wants to die. I have no objections to that, but I do wish that Caroline and the others could have been here to say goodbye. They are, after all, apart of this family… and would want the chance to say goodbye as well. Unfortunately it's just not possible. Albert doesn't have that much time left… and the others would arrive much too late to do much of anything. Thank God Laura is here, though. Laura wouldn't have been able to forgive herself if she couldn't be here for his death.

At least I know where Albert calls home … where he has always called home; his heart has always belonged in Walnut Grove –even after I moved the family away from here. This is where he wants his final resting place to be and I don't blame him. When he dies –and he is dying- he will be buried in Walnut Grove's cemetery next to Charles Jr.

Knowing that, though, doesn't make watching Albert die any easier. It is a gut wrenching experience to watch someone die, but it's that much worse when it is your own child dying. What do you do to ease your loved ones pain? Love them as best as you can, I think. For me, it helps to have faith in the fact that Albert will finally be in God's presence when he dies.

It won't stop the pain and suffering, however.

As each day goes by, the day Albert dies get closer and closer. And as each day goes by, Albert leaves his body little by little. There are days when I just want to let Albert go to heaven because he is in so much pain. On other days, however, I realize that I will never be ready to let my son go. How can I? He is my son and I want him to live, if only for my sake.

I know that no amount of faith will save my son from dying. I just wish that it could. After all, Albert is supposed to be going off to college this fall. Instead he's dying and I can't do a damn thing about it -except maybe say goodbye. I'll be doing that soon, even if I don't want to. Right now I'm letting Laura go first so that I can work up my courage to say goodbye. Maybe I'll find a way to let him know that our entire family will always remember the boy named Albert.

The End! Completed October 2002; Updated September 2004