Three
By Wusai, the Dark Phantasy
Disclaimer: I don't own Shaman King.
Claimer: I own my thoughts, opinions, and ideas.
A/N: Whee. Yoh centered. OOC Yoh. Yep.
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Yoh's POV
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Sometimes I just feel so... confused.
I wake up in the morning, the sun shining in my face. I hurridly dress. I walk outside my room, and there she is. I give her a nice, cheerful greeting. She gives me a cold glance in return. Sure, we like each other, and everyone expects us to be together. I mean, sometimes your expectations are wrong. Right?
I run outside on my daily, thirty-mile jog. He follows me on his bike. I smile at him, having him smile back. He's quite a worrywort, but I like him all the same.
Then. We pass his house. I look up briefly. Was that a flash of purple I saw? I don't know. I look back down, not wanting to attract any attention from my companion.
It's just so confusing.
Everyone knows about her and me, and everyone expects us to love each other and care for each other. Sure, we talk. But never around other people. Sometimes I feel like we're just friends. I don't really know her that well.
Then, there's the little one pedaling next to me. He's my best friend, and I know him better than I know her. We're really supposed to be just friends, but sometimes I feel closer to him... We share hugs and all, and once I even dared to peck him on the cheek. He just blushed cutely. Often, our friends who're homophobes look at us quite strangely. I just shrug and say, 'We're best friends!'
Lastly, there's him. The dark one. In the beginning, we never really associated. He was just there, I was just there, both of us knew that we were there. Then, I chanced a friendly relationship, and I got to know him a lot better. That time when we had to go and rescue him from his father's house, I put my arm around him, and he nearly fainted. I want to do that again.
Often, I also feel guilty along with my feeling of confusion.
Whenever I see her, I get this feeling in my throat, and I want to look away. Oh, no, it's not that I hate her. I like her, she, supposedly, likes me, and almost everyone knows that. I feel so guilty, though, when I look at her, and it makes me want to look away. I'm supposed to like her. I tell my friends that I like her, and she likes me, and they're happy for us. Somehow, I feel like that's a lie... the part about liking, that is.
It's hard to like not two people at the same time, but three.
I continuously wonder why I can't give up two of them. I've tried to, again and again, but I never seem to succeed.
I would give her up, but I really don't want to hurt her feelings. Even if she's so cold toward me, I feel that she's a lot warmer underneath that icy layer. People encourage me to go melt that layer, get to know her, and live a happy life. Nuh-uh. Not that easy.
I steal a glance at my friend. We know that we like each other, but we never admit it to each other. No one else knows. They just think we're close friends. We, or rather I, often tell him, 'I love you!', then hug him. Of course, when I say it, I'm half-joking, and he knows that. Sometimes, though, I'm not joking.
The dark one... Through about a year of awkwardness, I finally reached out to him. During that year, I'd always look at him. Sometimes I even stared. People would often ask, 'Do you like him or something? Wait, don't answer. I mean, you look like a girl and all, but, boys don't go with boys.' I always felt hurt when people knew my secret. Of course, they didn't know that they knew, but it was just painful all the same. Knowing that I could never be with him.
I ignored that pain. I insisted on reaching him. My efforts finally paid off, and now I can talk to him freely. No more blush. No more stammering. He certainly is acting kind of different, though one would only notice if one looked for it. Maybe he feels the same way...?
It really hurts. Knowing you could never be with someone. Just because your attention wanders oh-so-much. I think a tear just slipped out of my eye. Thank God he thinks it's just another bead of sweat.
Sometimes I feel like I understand a female PMSing. I sometimes feel like that. Just not with the mood. It's the romance.
Sometimes I feel like I like her more than the others, sometimes I feel like I like my friend more than the others, sometimes I feel like I like the dark one more than the others. Why am I feeling so... confused?
We're finally back at the house. I say 'Ja ne!' to my little companion, then run inside, ready to plop into the nice, warm onsen. On my way to get a change of clothes, I pass her again. I look away, feeling her eyes on me. "After you're out of the onsen, cook my dinner," she said. I groan inwardly. Yes, I do like her, if it's only a little bit, but I don't think I can actually marry her...
I take off my clothes, and sink into the onsen. Maybe this will help me mull over my thoughts, and maybe decide... like I've been hoping for the past year...
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A/N: Was he too OOC, a little OOC, or just like himself? :3? Please review.