This is part of the "special places" challenge. Thanks so much to Shiny Jewel for helping me beta it. I really enjoyed writing it, I hope you guys enjoy it just as much.
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Deacon climbed the familiar steps like he'd done a hundred times before. He felt the twinge in his knee and quickening in his breath, and was glad he'd stopped smoking over a decade ago when he'd given up the booze and the pills. "I'm getting old," he huffed as he reached the landing.
It was only two hours till show time, and for the first time in over a year he'd be playing on stage at the Ryman with Rayna. He wasn't her lead guitarist anymore, and just a small part of him ached with the knowledge that someone else was backing her up tonight.
Rayna was playing a series of smaller shows in venues like the Ryman all over the country. She wanted to step away from the glitziness of the bigger stadiums. "Getting back to her roots" is what she'd said. Maddie had convinced her to let the four of them sing "A Life That's Good" together at the Nashville show, just like they'd done at Fort Campbell a few months prior.
When he walked out onto the balcony he saw her sitting there a couple of rows from the edge. He smiled to himself. He knew she'd be there, but there was a small part of him that thought she may have given up their little ritual when she'd given up other things they'd done together.
"Hey," he said as he plopped down in the seat next to her, stretching his sore knee out over the chair in the front row.
"Hey," she smiled back at him, a hint of sadness in her eyes. "Didn't think I'd see you up here."
Deacon smiled at her thinking of all the times they'd walked up here together hand in hand over the past 25 years. "Well, we are playing a song tonight, so I thought I'd come up here just to make sure I remembered who we're really singing for."
Sadness seeped into Rayna's face, and Deacon could see the tears clouding her blue-green eyes. "I'm surprised you wanna be up here with me after everything that's gone on the last couple of months."
Deacon reached out and placed his right hand on her left, pressing it to the wooden arm rest between them, and then running his fingers down her empty one that used to hold a series of rings that were no longer there, including his own. "At least you're not wearing that ridiculous rock anymore."
Rayna looked up at him, trying to make him understand why she'd made the decisions she had recently. "It just didn't feel right. I didn't want to end up in another situation like I was in with Teddy. I know I hurt him in ways that I can never make up to him, and I didn't want to do that to Luke too." She flipped over Deacon's hand and started tracing the lines in his palm with her finger. "I just need some time you know…by myself. It's been such a crazy couple of years." Deacon nodded his head silently. He did understand. He may not like the fact that she still wasn't wearing his ring, but he understood.
Deacon leaned back in the chair and propped his other leg over the row in front of them. "Remember that night that we sat up here all night writing?" Deacon asked. Rayna came to life, smiling one of the most genuine smiles he'd seen from her in a while. "Oh yeah, I'm surprised they let us do that, and they didn't kick us out. When was that?"
"Oh man, I'd say about six or seven years ago now. We wrote American Beauty that night so it must have been the year you came out with Red, White, and Country."
"Right," Rayna nodded in agreement. "Watty said I needed two more songs for the album and we were running out of time, so after our concert that night we came up here to brainstorm, and when they were closing up Jerry the manager said we could stay if we promised to lock the door behind us when we left."
Deacon laughed. "Yeah, I think he took pity on us when he saw all those loose pages spread all over the floor."
"The girls were still young then and I knew I should have gone home after we finished the first song, but I just couldn't seem to tear myself away. It was the first time we'd written like that in so long."
"It was a pretty fun night," Deacon said as he stared into space. He got lost in thought remembering them lying on their backs at the top of the balcony, guitar in his hands as the early morning sunlight streamed in through the stained glass, Rayna's head just centimeters away from his. He remembered thinking that if he put the guitar down beside him he could just lean over the small gap separating them, and kiss her before either of them had time to think. It would just take a few seconds and his lips would be pressed against hers. He'd be in total bliss, tasting her strawberry lip balm that he'd seen her apply earlier in the night. He would tangle his fingers in her hair as their tongues danced in and out of each other's mouths, her slender fingers caressing the exposed skin in between his collar and his hair, like she'd done a thousand times before.
But he never removed the guitar that night. Back in those days he never let himself do much else besides thinking. Rayna looked up into his eyes, her bottom lip trembling ever so slightly. "I wanted you so much that night. It took every bit of strength I had not to just make love to you right there on the floor."
Deacon breathed in deeply. He tried not to think of all the missed opportunities he'd let slip by. He tried not to think what if? What if he'd kissed her that night? What if they'd made love and she'd left Teddy? Would he have learned about Maddie earlier, when she was still just a little girl who he could have sung to sleep? Would they have all been a family for the last six years?
They looked at each other for a moment with an intense longing that Deacon thought would swallow him whole if he didn't look away, but he managed to force a smile breaking the tension. "Wouldn't have been the first time we'd made love in the Ryman."
Rayna laughed and hit him in the shoulder playfully. "Shh, we don't want to get kicked out right before the show."
"Oh, I think there are some people here who are well aware of that fact. We weren't always so good about hiding our affection for each other back in the day. Plus you're pretty loud."
"Am not!" Rayna said, feigning offense before crinkling her face and glancing sideways at Deacon. "Well, maybe just a little."
She kicked her boots up to match Deacon's resting on the row in front. "Well, we're not twenty anymore. Somehow I don't think it would be as excusable finding people in their mid-forties getting busy in the mother church of country music."
Deacon shot her an amused look, "Mid-forties? You thinking about us expressing our affection for each other right here, right now?"
Rayna looked back at him, flashing a sly smile. "I'm always thinking about that, aren't you?"
"Man, you are trouble," Deacon laughed, while throwing his own devious look at Rayna. She was still holding his gaze and he just couldn't resist. He placed his hands on the sides of her face and kissed her ever so slowly, sucking on her bottom lip in a long drawn out motion. "Mmm," she cooed and sighed softly as he pulled away. When she opened her eyes he was looking at her with the most loving smile she thought she'd ever seen. It filled her with an overwhelming warmth and contentment that she hadn't felt in a long time. She hated to break the moment, but she wasn't sure she was quite ready for things to go any further between them at that time, and she was even more unsure she could stop herself if their conversation continued much longer. Rayna stood up taking Deacon's hand in her own. "Come on. We have a show to play, and a bossy daughter that will yell at us if we're late."
"Just like her mama," Deacon joked as he followed Rayna down the stairs hand in hand.