A/N – It's a pretty simple one-shot. Kind of pointless, but oh well… Enjoy for what it's worth! Reviews and constructive criticism are appreciated; this is my first fanfic. ^^
Disclaimer: I do not own Phoenix Wright.
Phoenix sighed. How he had gotten pulled into this chaos of shopping, he had no idea. He smacked his forehead for the umpteenth time as Maya's excited voice called out to him from the other side of the overly decorated clothing store. He just knew that he never should have agreed to take his young assistant to the mall…
Maya ran over through aisles of strange-looking clothing (that Phoenix thought that he would never want to be seen in), clutching a lurid pink shirt and wearing a delighted expression. "Nick! Niiiick!" Maya chirped impatiently, tugging at his sleeve. "Look at this t-shirt! It suits you perfectly, and…"
Phoenix quickly cut her off before she could finish. "First of all, pink is not my color. And also, what in the world is that… THING on the front?" He glared at the shirt as if hoping it would disappear if he glowered at it long enough.
Maya gaped at him with a bewildered and exasperated expression on her face. "You don't know what that is?" She stuck her tongue out at Phoenix and spun around to flourish the shirt at the young girl beside her.
"Pearly, you know what this is, right?"
"Huh?" Pearl bit her lip apologetically. "I'm sorry, Mystic Maya… I don't know what it is, either… But Mr. Nick, I think it would look great on you!" Pearl smiled, always eager to please.
Maya grinned, mollified for the moment. "It's okay, Pearly. Well, this is the new Pink Princess shirt; it's the reason we came here today! You can buy me one, and you can buy yourself one, and we can take our next case in matching t-shirts!"
"HOLD IT!" Phoenix yelled, turning quite a few heads, "I'm not going to wear a shirt with a kids' cartoon figure on the front anytime soon."
The teenaged spirit medium was about to protest loudly when a young store clerk hurried over.
"Excuse me, kind sir, but I'd like to ask you to keep your voice down, or vacate the area without further ado," he said with a condescending sneer on his face. He then sauntered off to "assist" a good-looking young woman who had just entered the store without a backwards glance at the trio.
The kind sir in question groaned while Pearl patted what she could reach of his arm comfortingly.
Maya smirked at him and continued their argument in a whisper. "Admit it. You like these 'kids' cartoons'. I saw you watching one of my Steel Samurai tapes the other day…"
"Wait a moment, now… that was only to make sure there was nothing important on there before I taped over it," Phoenix hissed without thinking, "there's nothing wrong with that, right?" He froze when he saw Maya glowering at him.
"You did WHAT to my tape? I can't believe that you of all people would-" She was cut off as the store clerk hastily walked back with an annoyed look on his face.
"I'm sorry to see – or hear, rather – that you and your charges seem unable to keep your voices at a reasonable level. I have to ask you three to please step out of the store."
As soon as he was gone, Maya gave Phoenix a quick glare. "Now look what you've done! You got us kicked out of my favorite clothing store!" She stormed off toward the food court with Pearl trailing behind.
He sighed and hurried after her, through the crowded and seemingly unsanitary walkways of the mall.
But I didn't even raise my voice the second time… I guess I shouldn't point out that it was her who got us kicked out.
When Phoenix finally caught up to Maya at the food court (which was in essence a large room with stalls situated along the walls with cheap plastic tables and chairs in between, he observed) gasping for air (Heck, I'm not an athlete; I spend most of my days in the courtroom or just lounging around the office), she was back to her normal, bouncy self, and it wasn't hard to see why.
"Pearly, it's finally time for you to try your first hamburger!" Maya grinned at her younger cousin. "Of course, its gonna all be paid for by Nick. Right, Nick?"
Pearl frowned quizzically. "Ham… ber… gurz? What are ham-ber-gurz?"
"OBJECTION! Maya, I don't think that that's the best idea," Phoenix said, still panting, "seeing as we've already had lunch. Also, isn't Pearls here a vegetarian?"
"Niiiick… you're such a spoilsport. Well, Pearly, I guess we'll have to wait until next time for you to try a burger," Maya sighed.
Phoenix glared at her. "Didn't I buy you three burgers at lunch every day in the past week?"
She looked at him innocently. "We-e-ell… the burgers call to me. 'Maayaaaa… eaaaat meee….' They say. And I'm not one to let down someone or something in need! …Especially not a burger."
Pearl was looking hopelessly confused at this point. "Mr. Nick, what kind of food are hamburgers? They talk?"
The spiky haired lawyer did not hear nor answer either of the girls, however. He was gaping at something or someone that Maya and Pearl couldn't see, gazing at it over the heads of the crowds of people in the food court. By this time, both of the spirit mediums were glaring at him.
"Nick? Nick? Earth to Nick…" Maya muttered, tugging at his sleeve.
Phoenix still paid her no attention. "E-E-Edge… worth…? EDGEWORTH? It can't be… Why is HE here?"
Maya squealed and jumped up and down, trying to catch sight of the prosecutor. "The more the merrier!" she cried, and shouted as she ran off, "Maybe he will buy me that shirt…"
Phoenix glared at her and took off on her heels behind Pearl. Why am I spending the entire day running after her?
After a mad dash across the food court, the three companions arrived in front of Edgeworth at the same time.
"Why are you here?" Phoenix stared at him almost accusingly.
Edgeworth, clad in his usual wine red suit and cravat, smirked at him. "Such a warm greeting from an old friend. You would expect something more welcoming, no? I could also ask the same for you. But if you must ask, the detective dragged me here," he added with a frown.
Maya thrust herself excitedly in front of the blue-suited lawyer. "Mr. Edgeworth… there's this Pink Princess shirt that I want to buy, but Nick is to stingy to buy a gift for a poor teenaged girl like me," she hinted.
Before Phoenix could say a word, Edgeworth said thoughtfully, "I believe I have seen that particular shirt before… I shall look into it, for prosecutors are paid more than you lowly defense attorneys, and aren't afraid to give gifts for fear of going bankrupt," he added smugly, looking at Phoenix.
Phoenix was livid by then, and was about to protest to defend what little pride he had, but was cut off as a huge hand thumped him on the back.
"Hey, pal! What're you doing here?" A very familiar voice boomed from right behind Phoenix's left ear.
Pearl looked up in surprise. "Oh! It's Mr. Scruffy-Detective!"
Phoenix groaned internally. The more the merrier, huh?
"Well, Nick decided to take me to the mall today! I wanted to buy this Pink Princess shirt, but we got kicked out of the store," Maya tried again.
The detective looked ashamed. "Sorry, pal, I don't really have the budget to buy any presents for anyone, but I'm sure Mr. Edgeworth here would be kind enough to…"
Edgeworth glared at him and said nothing, then went back to examining the dusty sunlight filtering in from the showy glass skylight. Gumshoe scratched the back of his head and muttered, "Well, it was worth a try, anyway…"
Suddenly, he perked up. "Do you have some spare change, then? I could really enjoy a pretzel right now, pal!" He stared longingly at the pretzel stand.
Pearl seemed to not know what a pretzel was either, and asked what they were with a puzzled expression.
Phoenix was about to answer both of them when Maya cut in. "Ooh, Nick! I want a pretzel too!"
Phoenix was feeling quite overwhelmed by now, with Gumshoe gazing at him hopefully and expectantly, Maya bouncing around like an overexcited rubber ball, Pearl looking extremely confused, and Edgeworth glowering at the lot of them.
He finally gave in. "Fine," he muttered, "but just this once." He reached into his wallet (it somehow seems more sad and diminished than usual, he thought,) and brought out a few crumpled bills.
Maya happily snatched them out of his hand before he could change his mind. With a quick "Thanks, Nick!" and a smile of gratitude from the detective, they hurried away toward the pretzel stand with Pearl in tow.
The two men who were left there stared at each other in silence. After a few awkward moments of not knowing what to say or do, Edgeworth opened his mouth to ask him something.
"Wright, would you be willing to –"
He was cut off as a blue-clad blur sped across the gap between them and stopped before nearly colliding with his cravat. It immediately attached itself onto his arm and didn't let go.
Both Edgeworth and Phoenix groaned. A deafening squeal of delight would have revealed the identity of the intruder to them if the unmistakable mass of neatly combed gray hair hadn't.
"Edgy-pooooo!"
Phoenix didn't know whether to laugh at the sight of the old lady cemented onto the prosecutor or to help him pry her off; he settled for boggling at her with his mouth hanging open at the strange sight.
Edgeworth seemed to struggle with his expression for a moment, going from horrified to disgusted to a slightly pained but polite expression. "Ah, Ms. Oldbag. Nice to see you here…" The panic in his eyes said otherwise, though. Phoenix could tell that he was thinking, "why her, why now?"
She seemed to suddenly notice Phoenix. "Ah!" she exclaimed, tearing her eyes away from Edgeworth, "the annoying young whippersnapper is here as well."
Phoenix gulped and backed away. Oldbag glared at him, and looked as if she was about to start ranting about his hairstyle, or maybe it was the suit…
…When a young couple, giggling and obviously deeply in love, bumped against Oldbag, throwing her slightly off balance. She turned to seethe at them, and Phoenix decided to take the chance to hurry away to the pretzel stand, where Maya was waving madly at him. Phoenix had a fleeting thought of concern for Edgeworth, as his arm was still in the possession of Ms. Oldbag, and he seemed to be struggling to keep his composure. Wondering if he should turn to help his friend and rival get rid of his unnecessary baggage, he paused indecisively.
Even so, though… Edgeworth seemed to wave him off with just an expression in his eyes, telling him to leave him; and Phoenix knew that Edgeworth would never recover from the blow to his pride if Phoenix dragged Oldbag off of him now…
But that thought soon left him as he approached Maya. She was waving two pretzels in the air, and Phoenix noted bits of cinnamon and sugar falling off in bits at each enthusiastic motion.
"This one's for you, Nick!" she smiled at him. The detective and Pearl were already munching (or in Gumshoe's case, chomping,) on pretzels of their own.
"Thanks," he smiled at her, taking the pretzel gently. A light dusting of cinnamon-sugar fell upon his hand, and he brushed it off.
Pearl seemed to be enjoying the unfamiliar treat very much, and was a good way into polishing off an entire pretzel before Phoenix had even taken a bite. Compared to the detective, Phoenix thought, she looked almost as small as the food she was eating!
Detective Gumshoe started suddenly. "Hey, pal, where's Mr. Edgeworth?" he craned his neck and jumped about, looking over many several people's heads to get a good view of the attorney in question. "I have his pretzel here, and, well, I have to give it to him…"
Phoenix shrugged. "He is… how shall we say this… occupied at the moment. A certain lady has him in her… possession," he looked over his shoulder in the general direction of where Edgeworth was being held.
Maya stared. She knew exactly whom Phoenix was talking about. "Why does she seem to follow us everywhere?"
He laughed nervously while Gumshoe charged off to save Edgeworth. "Yeah…" he muttered under his breath in agreement. Pearl just continued to munch on her pretzel, oblivious to one of the rare awkward silences that Maya and Nick were standing through.
After a while, Maya shrugged. "I don't want to get stuck in the middle of anything regarding that lady," then she grinned. "C'mon, Nick, we have to go check out that new electronics store now…"
Phoenix sighed as he walked up to his apartment door. It had been a very long and tiring day, with two girls pulling him this way and that. He wondered what had become of Edgeworth while he was being paraded around the mall. And about that mall… We probably went through every store in that accursed place, he reflected, thinking about the chaos of the two Fey girls running around, overexcited. His savings could use a break, and soon…
He was so engrossed in his own musings that he tripped over a neatly paper-wrapped parcel at his doorstep without seeing it first.
"Huh," he muttered. "What's this?" Phoenix gingerly picked up the package and shook it slightly. A quiet whisper of cloth against cloth emanated from the unexpected package. The wrapping crinkled slightly under his gentle grip as he took it inside.
Carefully slitting the crisp paper open, Phoenix opened the parcel. A note lay on top of two neatly folded shirts – he groaned when he saw Edgeworth's impeccably neat handwriting.
Only a single simple line occupied the page:
I expect to see you and your assistant enjoying this present at our next confrontation.
Phoenix shook out the shirts at an arm's length, and…
"How did I know," he moaned, for two matching Pink Princess shirts were dangling from his outstretched hands.